Our Lady of sorrows

Mikey

Emotions suck. I can never ever keep cool with them. every time i think i have it under control I burst out with somthing completley uncalled for. But after coming out of that room I could just feel the tension of my fault enter my brain. That bad parts that tell you, that you messed up again and that you never should have doen what you did.

Like i said emotions suck. espesicaly for me because i can't really control my mood swings. I haven't been on my bipolar pills for a couple of weeks now. That whole 'take-the-pill-feel-better! attitude was sucked out of me since the Gerard thing.

I sat down on the very uncomfortable bench out side of the ER loby, so I wouldn't have to deal with that sick person smell. I took out my cell phone and relectantly pressed 'Home" on my contacts. Dreding the answer badly I lifted the phone to my ear and closed my eyes. The stedy rythem of the beeps made me picture mom makeing some of that delisous pasta I missed last night. Woundering what hadhapped to little Mikey who went innocently out to find his wasted brother.

I closed the phone. I just couldn't tell mom what happened. I don't know why i felt so guilty all of a sudden I mean wasn't it Gerard's falt in the fist place well of course it was that was a stupid question.

I walked out of that hospital feeling terrible about everything. I walked into the mcDonalds down the street and opened the door for a little old lady who complemented on my glasses. I grazed in sid enot making eye contact with anyone who was in line. I didn't want to have any reason for my emotions to spill over. I headed to the back of the line when my eyes slipped to a red headed girl at the counter looking at all the choices above her.

I turned away thinking it would be just my luck for her to lock eyes with me and have me blush like crazy because i can't talk to girls. A vision of last night poped into my mind. Of when Gerard pointed to those whores outside and commented aout getting layed it bothered me to have him know i was a total failure with ladies.

Not like Gerard was much of a sex fiend either, he had a pretty false out look on the whole sex thing. I don't think he knows what he wants. Girl or boy...I mean or if he's just confused with love itself. I guess the Way brothers from my chemical romance, was no good at romance. Frankie was the master of ladies though.

I looked at that girl again and caught her eye she smiled. I kept think to myself, 'what would frankie do.." and I waved. As soon as I knew what i had done i blushed like crazy. THe girl giggled and come my way. she put down her tray at a nere by table and patted the seat.

there were only three things that passes my mind. #1 wow she's very bold. #2 she's asking me to sit by her and I havent even gotten any food! I'll loose my palce in line... #3what would Frankie do....

i sat next to her trying to be as cool as possible...which is pretty dicficult when you have glasses that are humugousley huge. I was extremley twitchey i never really ever got to sit in a booth with another girl i really wasnt a very soical kid at all. Well partly because when you are the brother of a highschool nobody, your not very likely to come out of that reputation.

she took a sip of what looked like that yummy orange soda that I always got here when i was a little kid. she reminded me of being a kid. Like how you could go up to anykid your age and say: hey wanna play with me. It was reallly that whole walk down memorie lane with this girl.

"So have I seen you before?" she said palyfully. her green eyes spakled in the dim light. to my surprise up close she wasnt very attractive...just, cute. ya, cute. Liek how all my band mate sujested girls would find me...ya we actually di dthat on the tour bus. We actually have way to much time to do that stuff. Like I was cute Gerard was attractive, Frankie was Sexy. Ray was intellagent, and Matt was...well Matt was in the bathroom.

"Uh I don't think so..." I muttered trying to keep my hands from twitching it was distacting.

The girl cocked her head like a puppy and looked at me some more. "Hmmm," she looked like she honestly knew me that kind of connection where the daj'avu' of a random person you really have never met before. She gasped imedeatly. "Your form a My chemical romance arn't you i saw your music video on Mtv. 'VAmpires witll never hurt you' or somthing?"

"Ummm" I did't want her to like me just because i was in a rock band. But why did it matter it was just a girl I met....right? "Ya, Im the bassest in the back."

"Oh wonderful. Im from the record company down the road here and this is my luch break so its good to check up on the other bands." she laughed and took a bit of a chicken nugget."

"I really didnt get what all that smilly laugh-y stuff was all about. I mean sure it was cute and stuff but god it was really creepy. I don't think this girl had all her marbles...but still i liked talking to a girl so replyed by nodding my head and smilling.

" So how is it being a brand new rock band on the new jersey scene these days?"

"Its just fine, Rose no get out of here."

I turned quickly to see who said that I found Frankie behind me. His eyes cold on the red head and hair falling just over one eye. and even with one it was just enough eye to scare a huge animal ready to strike. It would have stoped me.