Holiday From Real

Gabe made his way back to his apartment. He didn’t know if he should feel angry, hurt, betrayed, or all of these feelings. He couldn’t believe that Mary Jane had just left him in the restaurant on his knee, still holding the ring out.

He didn’t know where she had gone, either. Part of him was hoping that she would be home, and part of him wasn’t. He knew that he was angry, and he didn’t want to say something to her that he would end up regretting the next day, but he also needed to talk to her.

How could she have said no? Didn’t she love him? Or did she not love him enough to marry him? All kinds of thoughts were running through his head as he parked his car and walked up to his apartment.

He got to the door and tried the doorknob to see whether it was unlocked or not. It was, and he slowly opened the door. He walked in to see Mary Jane sitting on the couch. She turned around when she heard the door open, and she stood up and walked over towards Gabe.

“I am so sorry,” she said quietly.

“I just don’t understand,” Gabe said, shaking his head.

“I love you, Gabe. I really do,” Mary Jane told him.

“So why won’t you marry me?” Gabe asked sadly.

“I just can’t,” Mary Jane said.

“But why?” Gabe asked, sounding like a little kid whining to his parents.

“Gabe, please,” Mary Jane pleaded, trying to get Gabe to let it go.

“No, MJ, I want a reason. I mean I think I deserve to know. You say you love me, but then you turn down the proposal. I just want to know why.”

Mary Jane looked at him, angry that Gabe was pushing her so much. “Do you really want to know?” she questioned, and Gabe nodded his head. “Fine!” she yelled. “It’s because I’m not over Chris!”

“What?” Gabe asked in disbelief. “You won’t marry me because you’re not over Chris? What, MJ, are you in love with him or something?”

“No!” Mary Jane screamed. “In case you forgot, Chris raped me!”

“How could I forget, MJ?” Gabe yelled back. “You remind me every chance you get! First, you wouldn’t date me because of Chris. Then, it was this and that because of Chris. Now, you won’t marry me because of Chris? You really need to get over this already!” Gabe told her, not thinking about what he was saying, just concentrating on how angry he was at the moment.

“I can’t just get over it, Gabe! You’ve never been raped. You don’t know what it’s like! Gabe, it still haunts me. I thought you understood all of this!”

“MJ, it was how long ago?” Gabe asked. “Nearly a year now?”

“That doesn’t mean a thing!” Mary Jane screamed. “Chris is still around, and he still reminds me every chance he gets.”

“Just like you do to me,” Gabe told her.

“I’m sorry if you don’t like the fact that I was raped, Gabe,” Mary Jane said. “I can’t help it that it happened to me.”

“Well, maybe if you hadn’t decided to go up in that room with him back then, then you never would have been stuck alone with him, and it never would have happened!”

Mary Jane stared at Gabe in disbelief. Had he really just blamed her for the rape? He had always told her that it wasn’t her fault, but that it was Chris’s instead. But, now, here he was, telling her that it was her fault.

“I did not ask for him to rape me,” Mary Jane said through gritted teeth.

“I still don’t get why him raping you is stopping you from marrying me,” Gabe said, going back to their original argument.

“Gabe, I can’t marry you if I’m not over the rape. I’m not ready for the physical aspect of it all,” she told him.

“Well, it’s not like we’re having sex now,” Gabe told her. “What difference does it make if we’re married or not? I’ve told you a million times I’ll wait for you.”

“Yeah, but once we’re married, I don’t think you’re going to want to wait anymore,” Mary Jane admitted.

“So, you know how I’m going to feel months from now, huh?” Gabe questioned.

“Gabe, come on. You’re a guy,” Mary Jane told him. “And guys want sex.”

“Have I ever pressured you into sex?” he asked.

“No, but…”

“That’s right, MJ! I haven’t. Yes, I know Chris raped you, but you need to just get over that already!”

“Did you not listen to a word I said before? I can’t just get over it!” Mary Jane screamed.

“Well, then you just need to face him,” Gabe said. “Because this shit is getting old. MJ, all you ever do is talk about the rape.”

Mary Jane stared at him. “Well, when you get raped, you can tell me how to feel and how to deal with everything. But, until then, you can shut the hell up!” she yelled.

“Like I said earlier, MJ. It’s been nearly a year. Don’t you think you should at least be part-way past it already? But, no. You act as if it happened yesterday. You need to do something to get over it. I don’t know what. See a shrink, something.”

“I’ve already seen a psychiatrist,” Mary Jane said, gritting her teeth.

“Well, I don’t know what else to tell you. I told you I would wait until you’re ready, but at this rate, you’re never going to get there.”

“Fuck you, Gabe,” Mary Jane screamed as she grabbed her car keys off the table and walked out the door, slamming the door behind her.