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Emerald Eyes
Reoccurring
The April air was crisp. Everything smelled intense, almost like you lost your sense of smell and they came back quickly and extreme. You picked a sunflower out of the ground by your apartment building and twirled it around in your hand. You put the flower by your stomach, hoping somehow your little girl could smell what you were smelling.
You enjoyed taking long walks. They gave you a chance to think about everything and let your mind run wild. There was nothing in your way to distract you from your thoughts, it was perfect for you.
You still couldn't stop thinking about the words he used. Mistake. Regret. Terrible. Those are words you just never say around emotional pregnant woman. Sure, emotions may have made you over react just a little, but still, anyone would have reacted the same way you did.
Since when did he become so stressed out? The album was getting put together rather quickly, but so much more has been going on, even without American Idiot in the picture. You assumed any person would be more worried about the thought of an affair getting out to the public eye, especially being in the spotlight so much. Or even stressed about the situation of where your children would go after a separation like this. But he's most stressed about the album? You knew that wasn't the main reason he was so emotional lately.
Was he having second thoughts about your relationship?
He shook the thought out of your head. No, that couldn't be it. He sacrificed so much to be with you. He left his wife behind, lost his kids to her, and is even jeopardizing the fact his career may be over if this gets out to the public. If he were to back out of this now, he would be left with nothing. He couldn't do that to you.
Could he?
Maybe he was beginning to wish he could go back in time and change things? Sure, he says he's so glad he met you, but he could be lying. He could be just saying that to make you happy and not to stress you, or the baby, out at all. It's not like you couldn't put it past him, too. He has lied to his wife for about two years about a secret relationship.
What if he has another relationship apart from yours? They do say once a cheater, always a cheater. Could he really be capable of doing that to you and your child? He has been at the studio an awful lot. But, the new album is coming out soon, so maybe he isn't sneaking around your back. Being him, though, you can't help but keep it in the back of your mind.
Your mind goes back to the reoccurring question.
Is he having second thoughts about your relationship?
Why else has he been so irritable with you lately? Was he finally realizing things between the both of you were going to be official in the next month? Did he suddenly come back to planet earth and get that he was having a baby with someone else and now regrets it?
And his kids. His precious boys who didn't do anything to deserve this. Did he finally realize the damage this all caused and is trying to fix everything behind your back? Maybe he was planning a way to leave you before, or maybe even after, the baby was born to return to his family. His first family.
His love for Adrienne hasn't left yet, anyone that even knows his name knows this. Even you knew, you didn't expect him not to fall out of love with her. At least, not yet. Everything was all happening so fast for the both of you. You could understand how he could feel overwhelmed and want to consider going back to her.
Who would leave a woman as beautiful as Adrienne? You felt like you didn't even deserve to be compared to her, let alone have her husband interested in you. She has everything you have ever wanted; perfect porcelain skin, able to pull off dreads beautifully, and that confidence in herself you always wished you had. You never, to this day, understood how he went from someone as beautiful as Adrienne to someone as plain as you.
But, maybe that's why he's having second thoughts about your relationship?
These feelings were too much for you. You were tired of being secretive for two years. You lost so many friends, family, and even interests because you were wrapped up in those emerald eyes. You were tired of lying to the very first person you became friends with since then, because you were in love with her husband. You were tired of sneaking around whenever you went outside, afraid the paparazzi may see you with him and a scandal wold begin. You were tired of doubting yourself daily, trying to convince yourself that he'll just leave you one day.
You were tired of the constant thought that one day you'll wake up and this would have all turned out to be one long dream.
As if it was like a light bulb lighting up in your mind, you finally knew what you had to do. Never in the past two years of your life have you ever been so certain with what to do in your life. But you knew, whether it happened now or later, everything would be good for everyone.
You enjoyed taking long walks. They gave you a chance to think about everything and let your mind run wild. There was nothing in your way to distract you from your thoughts, it was perfect for you.
You still couldn't stop thinking about the words he used. Mistake. Regret. Terrible. Those are words you just never say around emotional pregnant woman. Sure, emotions may have made you over react just a little, but still, anyone would have reacted the same way you did.
Since when did he become so stressed out? The album was getting put together rather quickly, but so much more has been going on, even without American Idiot in the picture. You assumed any person would be more worried about the thought of an affair getting out to the public eye, especially being in the spotlight so much. Or even stressed about the situation of where your children would go after a separation like this. But he's most stressed about the album? You knew that wasn't the main reason he was so emotional lately.
Was he having second thoughts about your relationship?
He shook the thought out of your head. No, that couldn't be it. He sacrificed so much to be with you. He left his wife behind, lost his kids to her, and is even jeopardizing the fact his career may be over if this gets out to the public. If he were to back out of this now, he would be left with nothing. He couldn't do that to you.
Could he?
Maybe he was beginning to wish he could go back in time and change things? Sure, he says he's so glad he met you, but he could be lying. He could be just saying that to make you happy and not to stress you, or the baby, out at all. It's not like you couldn't put it past him, too. He has lied to his wife for about two years about a secret relationship.
What if he has another relationship apart from yours? They do say once a cheater, always a cheater. Could he really be capable of doing that to you and your child? He has been at the studio an awful lot. But, the new album is coming out soon, so maybe he isn't sneaking around your back. Being him, though, you can't help but keep it in the back of your mind.
Your mind goes back to the reoccurring question.
Is he having second thoughts about your relationship?
Why else has he been so irritable with you lately? Was he finally realizing things between the both of you were going to be official in the next month? Did he suddenly come back to planet earth and get that he was having a baby with someone else and now regrets it?
And his kids. His precious boys who didn't do anything to deserve this. Did he finally realize the damage this all caused and is trying to fix everything behind your back? Maybe he was planning a way to leave you before, or maybe even after, the baby was born to return to his family. His first family.
His love for Adrienne hasn't left yet, anyone that even knows his name knows this. Even you knew, you didn't expect him not to fall out of love with her. At least, not yet. Everything was all happening so fast for the both of you. You could understand how he could feel overwhelmed and want to consider going back to her.
Who would leave a woman as beautiful as Adrienne? You felt like you didn't even deserve to be compared to her, let alone have her husband interested in you. She has everything you have ever wanted; perfect porcelain skin, able to pull off dreads beautifully, and that confidence in herself you always wished you had. You never, to this day, understood how he went from someone as beautiful as Adrienne to someone as plain as you.
But, maybe that's why he's having second thoughts about your relationship?
These feelings were too much for you. You were tired of being secretive for two years. You lost so many friends, family, and even interests because you were wrapped up in those emerald eyes. You were tired of lying to the very first person you became friends with since then, because you were in love with her husband. You were tired of sneaking around whenever you went outside, afraid the paparazzi may see you with him and a scandal wold begin. You were tired of doubting yourself daily, trying to convince yourself that he'll just leave you one day.
You were tired of the constant thought that one day you'll wake up and this would have all turned out to be one long dream.
As if it was like a light bulb lighting up in your mind, you finally knew what you had to do. Never in the past two years of your life have you ever been so certain with what to do in your life. But you knew, whether it happened now or later, everything would be good for everyone.