Emerald Eyes

He kisses your nose and smiles, "Babe, one month to go! How excited are you?"

You dryly tell him you're extremely excited, and manage to give a weak smile. You couldn't give him the emotions he was looking for, you were still thinking about everything going through your mind from that walk.

He cocks his head to the side, "What's wrong?"

You sigh, and tell him you're just thinking. His awareness that there is in fact something wrong makes you feel smug. You want him to worry, to question if it's his fault for your new distant behavior.

You keeps a stare at you, waiting for you to reassure you that it has nothing to do with him. But you fail to do so. He breaks the silence. "So, did you think about throwing a baby shower?"

You snap at him that in order to have a baby shower you need friends and family to attend, and you at the moment have neither of of them.

His eyes widen in shock, "What the fuck, Rox? I'm only trying to think of something nice for the baby and you're freaking out!"

You throw your arms in the air, saying that it's always your fault, no matter what the problem was. One of his guitar strings could break while he's in the middle of playing and he'd probably still find a way to make it your fault.

He crosses his arms across his chest, "Oh is that how you feel, Roxana? That everyone is against you and doesn't sympathize for you at all?"

You tell him that's exactly how you feel. You weren't able to tell a single one of your friends about your secret relationship, causing you to become distant with everyone. Once you became distant, you had less and less friends until you had none. The same goes for your family; you blocked more and more out as each day pass. You ask him how he would feel if he had not one person to talk to about your problems.

His eyebrows furrow above his emerald eyes, green with anger, "And you think I had it easy?"

You copy his stance and cross your arms as well. You tell him that at least once your friends found out he had someone to talk to other to than himself. You, on the other hand, never had that luxury.

"Boo fucking hoo, Roxy," he mocks you. "You're acting like your life is so goddamn hard. Last time I checked, you never had a wife or children to worry about finding out what their father was doing behind their backs when I was still living with them. You never had to constantly worry that your picture would be taken by a paparazzi and your career would be over. You never had to hide your secret life from your best friends you've had for over twenty years. Last time I check, Roxana, you never had to live a double life. You've been living only one life this whole time."

You were in tears. How dare he try and act like he had the harder time in this. It was a mutual struggle to stay together. You stopped and replayed what you just thought.

A mutual struggle? Is that how you really thought about this relationship? Was there no enjoyment anymore, and all it was was stress now?

His green eyes shown in regret for the words he spoke to you. He put a hand on your shoulder, but you shrugged it off. You looked down to the floor, not even bearing to look into his eyes. You knew if you did, you would melt and forget what you were thinking. He had a spell on you, and he didn't even know it.

"Roxana, what is it? Please tell me," he pleaded. His voice sounded shaky, like he was on the verge of crying. As always, people crying always had the domino effect on you. Now you had tears falling from your hazel eyes.

He kept trying to pull you into a hug, and you kept forcing yourself away from him. Your hands were on his chest, keeping a barrier between the two of you. You could feel his shoulders shaking beneath your hands. You kept your head down the whole time, watching as the tears stained your red sweatpants a darker shade of red where each teardrop fell.

"Roxana," he whispered, his voice full of emotions, "Please talk to me. Please, we need to talk this out. Tell me what's wrong."

You shake your head, afraid to even open your mouth and speak. You know that if you utter one word, you were going to loose complete control. You knew that you were going to break down in tears. You knew that you were going to regret what you were going to do.

But it had to be done.