Inconsistent Paper Stars

“ZACKY!” A ten-year old Brian raced through his best friend’s home, looking for the little loser he loved so much. “ZACKY, WHERE ARE YOU?”

It was Zacky who had come up with the idea to play hide and seek on their last few days of summer vacation before they had to go back to school. He claimed it would “be like the old days!”, and Brian had happily agreed. They had been thoroughly bored, but now Brian was almost wishing he was bored again. He had been looking for what seemed like two hours--but was actually more like fifteen minutes.

“Brian, calm down, what’s wrong?” A smiling Ms. Baker came out of the kitchen where she was making a spaghetti dinner for everyone to see what all the commotion was.

“I can’t find your son anywhere. I’ve looked everywhere!!!” Brian sat down on the stairs, defeated.

“Did you check in the cupboard under the stairs?” Brian smiled at that cupboard. They used to play orphans and use that small space as their home, and with all the spiders and whatnot, it had been very realistic, until Ms. Baker would come and find them and give them a warm good meal to eat.

“Yeah, I checked there. It’s too small for us anymore, anyway.”

“How about in the storage bins?”

Brian sighed. “I checked all thirty two of them. No Zacky.”

“Did you try in the washing machine?”

“WHAT? Can he fit in there?” Brian looked skeptical. He knew Zacky was small, but not that small!

“That’s his new favorite hiding spot, he told me this morning. He thought for sure there was no way you were going to find him!” Maria laughed. She thought that Brian would be a bit smarter than that, but then again, Zacky was pretty spontaneous, and she would have never looked there herself.

“Why didn’t you just say that in the first place?” Brian raced off to find his friend.

Maria answered the question, though there was no one to hear. “To see if Zacky had any hiding places left.”

“HA, I FOUND YOU!” Brian yelled into the metal cylinder where his best friend was lounging, listening to his tape player, headphones on. “Dude, you’re like, teeny! I couldn’t even fit in there!”

“Shut up, this is a good song. And thanks for yelling, things echo in here!! Now help me out.” Zacky held out his hands expectantly.

“Oh, no way. You just told me to shut up. Nope. You’re stuck. You’re on your own, buddy.” Brian smiled evilly and started to walk away.

“What? Wait! I take it back! I didn’t mean it! I’m pushing the stop button! My headphones are off! BRIAN!” Zacky yelled as his friend continued to walk away, and finally just ran down the hall. “BRIAN! God, what am I gonna do now? I’m stuck!”

Zacky considered the situation. He knew he could get his friend to come and get him eventually, but he didn’t want to wait too long. He wasn’t technically “stuck”, per se, he mussed, but it’d be easier to get out if he waited for Brian to come back. Which he would. Zacky decided not to overexert himself--after all, it was the last few weeks of summer, and he didn’t want to be worn out or hurt for the remainder of his free days. He settled back down into the most comfortable position he could manage in a washing machine and waited, listening to his Led Zeppelin tape.

Sure enough, Brian came back after about three songs--ten minutes. Zacky figured--complaining about being bored and how Zacky always got everything he wanted and (while helping Zacky out of the washer) how Zacky was maybe starting to weigh something and how he--Brian--better start building muscles so he can haul his best friend out of washers every now and again.

“But you can’t ever hide in there again, you know, right?” Brian looked Zacky in the eyes as they walked to the kitchen where they could smell dinner cooking. “’Cause that’s the first place I’m going to look from now on.” An evil smirk adorned his face--typical Brian, Zacky thought.

He decided not to tell his best friend that he could fit in the dryer, as well.xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

“A BABYSITTER?” Both boys chorused two weeks later as Jan and Maria gently broke the news to the boys that the two mothers were invited to a party that the boys couldn’t attend, as it was a work party--something that hadn’t happened for about a year--and that they would be gone so late that the boys would need someone to look after them until the mothers got home.

“But we haven’t had a babysitter since we were nine!!!!” Zacky whined.

“Now, none of that, you’re only ten. Besides, you’ll be spending the night at Brian’s house, anyway.” Maria frowned at her son. “And don’t you dare tell me that because you’re a double-digit number now means you can stay home by yourself. It does absolutely not, Zachary James Baker.”

Zacky--who had opened his mouth to argue the--shut it as his mother shot him down. That had been his only argument. “Fine…but I get to spend the whole night, right? And the babysitter’s not gonna be mean? Like, she’s not gonna be all bossy and mean?”

“If she is, you tell us, and we’ll hire another babysitter if this ever happens again. But don’t be rude, Zacky,” Maria glared sternly again. “You don’t have to like her, but you have to pretend that you do. Got it?” Maria stared down her son until he answered with a small “got it” and an even smaller pout.

Jan and Brian watched in silence. Jan didn’t tell the same thing to Brian because she knew he’d be good, and that he’d reel Zacky in if he went too far. Maria was slightly banking on that, though she didn’t tell either of the boys. It was best to let them think that they were being good on their own, rather than knowing their moms were expecting them to level each other out and rebelling instead.

“So, we’re clear?” Jan said to the boys.

“Crystal,” they said back in stereo.

“Good,” Maria started as the doorbell rang. “Okay, boys, don’t do anything you wouldn’t do while we were here! Zacky, that means don’t hide in Jan’s washing machine. And don’t be smart with the poor girl!” Maria put on a smile and stopped lecturing as she opened the door. “Hello, Stephanie!”

“Hello,” a fourteen-year old girl stepped in as Maria held the door open for her. Zacky looked her up and down. He decided she was one not to be messed with. She had blonde hair, and wore bright colors. Zacky knew she was a last-minute choice, because she was wearing the brands that Maria hated herself, and she just screamed “slut”, Zacky thought privately to himself. He knew his mom didn’t like him thinking of people like that, but it’s not like he could help it with this girl, he thought.

“Stephanie, this is Jan, and these are the boys, Zacky and Brian,” Maria introduced everybody. “Zacky, Brian, this is Stephanie. Be good for her, okay?” A quick nod from both boys and a small glare from Zacky made Maria feel safe. She knew Zacky didn’t approve of her choice of a sitter, but he knew that she was one not to be trifled with. She smiled. “The number of the venue is on the refrigerator, on the erasable board. It’s too high for the boys to reach, so it should be right. If not, the party’s at the club called Forever 21 and Under, and it’s in the phone book. I’ve marked the page, and that’s on top of the fridge, as well, so the boy’s could’ve messed with that, either.” Maria smiled. “Good God, I make you boys sound like devils.” She laughed, and Jan joined in. Zacky and Brian smirked, and Stephanie just stood there awkwardly, not quite knowing what to do.

“We should be home by about midnight,” Jan continued for Maria, “And the boys need to be in bed--if not asleep--by nine. School starts in less than two weeks, as I’m sure you’re aware, and these boys will do anything to have an excuse to show up late on the first day, including oversleeping. So we’re trying to get them back to a normal bedtime. And they won’t refuse. Right, boys?”

“Yep.” Zacky said happily, and Brian nodded. “’Sides, we can’t be late. We’re going to be fifth graders next year! We getta rule the school! We can’t be sleeping!” Zacky emphasized his urgency by slamming his hands down on the stairs he was sitting on when he said “sleeping”, making a very appropriate thump noise.

“Okay, then, eager boys, be good, we’ll see you in the morning!” Maria and Jan kissed their boys goodbye, and hugged the boy they didn’t kiss, and were off.

“We won’t be bad. We promise.” Brian looked at Stephanie. “And we have dinner already made up and everything. It’s in the fridge, and we’re having tacos. Vegetarian, ‘cause Zacky’s a veggie person. And the refried beans can be warmed up in the microwave.” Brian smiled as Stephanie looked baffled.

“Well, you’re certainly the helpful one. Just don’t go evil on me, okay?” She smiled at the charming little Brian. She could see him being potentially cute in a few years.

“Nope. But Zacky might.” Zacky grinned an evil smile as Brian said this. Oh yes, Zacky could do evil.