Welcome Home.

The sound of whooshing metal rang through the air and Dante couldn’t help but die a little inside. On his fucking day off. He took the key from his pocket and jammed in into the lock, the clicking sound officially welcoming him to hell.

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The bell rung as a customer came in. Dante looked down at a small child.

“Yo, faggot, gimme a pack of Marlboro’s and some 40 proof.”

Dante stared at the young boy bewildered. He had woken up less than half an hour ago and was particularly slow. It took him several minutes to make his brain work before his face molded into anger.

“Get the fuck out of here, pissant, before I call the cops.” He growled.

Slamming his head onto the counter, he closed his eyes and fell into a limbo between sleep and the four prison-like walls of the Quick Stop. Just as he was finally fading into sleep, the bell rung once again and he shot straight up.

“Hey Dickwad,” Randal said as he slid onto the counter, “Isn’t this your day off?”

“Yes, Randal,” He groaned, “Now get out, I’m trying to fucking sleep.”

“Can’t do that,” He said popping his gum.

“Why the fuck not?”

“The video store is closed and I need some entertainment” He snickered.

“You run the fucking place! Get your ass over there and open up the store like you were supposed to three hours ago,” Dante yelled.

“Calm down,” Randal said with his hands raised defensively, “The stoners took my keys”

Dante looked at him in disbelief, rand his hand down his face in frustration, and got up.

“Where are you going?” Randal asked.

“To get your fucking keys,” He paused, “And possibly some weed.”

With that, he slammed the door. The silver bell fell to the ground with a fairly loud smash. The sound rang in an uncaring Randal’s ears as he grabbed a porn magazine from the back.

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Outside the Quick Stop, two extremely stoned men were dancing to no music. Jay and Silent Bob. As Dante walked up, the taller of the two looked at him.

“What the fuck do you want you fucking dumb faggot?” he hissed.

The shorter just looked at him, shook his head at the ground, and continued to smoke.

“Randal’s keys.” He stated, holding his hand out.

“Why the fuck would I give them to you, I’m using them,” He giggled.

Curiosity got the better of him and he rolled his eyes as he asked, “What for?”

“I’m gonna pick up a smokin’ babe. With really big tits. Yeah, big tits. And I’m gonna tell her I own the video store. Yeah and then I’m going to fuck her. Fuck her real hard. On the counter. And then, I’m going to leave a sandwich on the counter. Yeah, fuck that stupid dude, thinks he can lock me out of the store.”

He wobbled on his feet, giggling uncontrollably.

“Oh, for Christ’s sakes,” Dante sighed, rolling his eyes. He snatched the keys from Jay’s pocket and looked at Bob. Their eyes met for a second before they both looked down.

“Hey, you, uh, you holding anything?” He asked, rubbing his neck awkwardly.

Bob nodded, taking a drag of his cigarette, and pulled out a dimebag of weed. Jay stopped giggling and started doing a robotic dance.

“Fifteen bucks, little man, put that shit in my hand.”

Dante, once again, rolled his eyes and slapped a twenty into his hand.

“Keep the fucking change.”

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The door made a loud nose as it slammed shut. A very tired, very annoyed Dante stormed into the store. He was stopped in his footsteps when he heard glass shatter. He let out an exasperated sigh.

“Whoever the fuck that was; you better clean that up because I’m not.”

“Now, now,” Randal said, appearing from an isle, “Is that any way to treat your customers?”

Dante growled and slammed his hand on the counter. It hit at an odd angle, causing his hand to start pounding.

“GOD FUCKING DAMMIT, THIS WAS MY DAY OFF!”
He looked from Randal to his hand, and then back to Randal.

“Here are your fucking keys,” he said throwing them to him, “Now get out, open the store, and leave me the fuck alone.”

“What crawled up your ass?” he said giving Dante a sideways look.

He closed his eyes and took deep breaths.

“Get. Out.”

Randall stared at him blankly.

“NOW!”

“Alright, alright, I’m going,” Randal said.

Dante put a signed that said “Lunch break: be back in 30. Leave money on counter. If you plan to shoplift, please let us know.” on the counter and fell onto his makeshift bed under the counter. If he could get to sleep, the day would soon be over.

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Dante awoke to the sound of broken glass. His eyes flew open and spotted the ceiling. After a moment of deliberation, he decided not to investigate. He closed his eyes again, but opened them when moaning filled the air.

“What the fuck!” he growled.

He positioned the pillow to cover his ears, but it did not do much. Finally, he threw it aside and got up.

“Whoever woke me up better have a good reason,” He shouted.

No one answered. He abandoned the counter and started searching. The moaning got louder and louder as he went towards the food isle. He turned the corner and shut his eyes quickly.

“Jesus fucking Christ, what is your problem?!”

Jay looked up. Well, you took my keys. So I did it in your store instead.” He giggled.

Dante let out a scream of frustration, turned around, and stormed out.

He kept his eyes on the ground as he walked the sidewalk and ran into someone. He looked up and there was Bob. He nodded at Dante and continued smoking. Dante sighed, pulled out a blunt of his own, and lit it up. Fuck being morally ethical.

So, there he was, sitting next to a near mute, higher than a kite. It was an odd sight for passersby, but it was an odder feeling for him. Bob slid down the wall and put his head on Dante’s shoulder. Dante told himself that he was too fucking high to care, but he really actually liked it. They sat there, for quite some time, staring at the cars that whizzed by. Everything was fucking hilarious when high.

A middle-aged woman passed the two on the sidewalk and stopped to look at them.

“Excuse me, which of you is managing the Quick Stop?”

They both pointed to each other.

“Well, I thought you should know, there are two people fornicating in your establishment.”

Dante’s eyes did not leave the cars as he took another puff and said, “Don’t care.”

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It’s seven ‘o clock now and the high has worn off. Begrudgingly, Dante returns to the store. Things have bee stolen, the Doritos section is covered in come, glass is broken, and the store is totally empty. He doesn’t care. Today was his day off.

Randal flies into the store, porno magazine in hand.

“Hey dude,” he says, jumping on the counter. Dante gives him an incredulous look and goes back to staring at the marble counter.

“Get me the fuck out of here.”

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Somewhere in the distance, My Heart Will Go On stars playing. Dante bashes his head against the counter. Fuck Caitlin, fuck Veronica, fuck Bob…wait, what?

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“A pack of cigarettes, please?” an older man asks.

“Just take them, free of charge. You’re our millionth customer.”

He looks shocked, but does not argue. He takes the smokes and walked out, kicking the silver bell as he goes.

“Oh, this seems to have fallen,” he said. He fixed it back on its position on the door and left.

He stares at the door long after the man has left. It must be the weed that put him in such a wistful mood.

“Hey, Randal, guess what?”

“What, dude?”

“We’re all gonna die.” He says with a smile on his face.

Randall raises his right eyebrow at him.

“This could be my last day. And I’m at the fucking Quick Stop on my day off.”

He looks at Randal.

“Want to break some shit?”

Randall merely looks at him with a devious smile and a knowing look.

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Nine ‘o clock. One hour till closing. The entire store is trashed. Randal has written “Eat pussy” on nearly every glass panel in the frozen items section. Dante has written “Fuck off!” in large letters on the counter. Bottles are smashed, money is gone, and inventory is now a joke.

Hey, it was his fucking day off.

Randal staggers over to him, beer in hand, and claps him on the back.

“Let’s bail early,” he says.

“Eh, you go ahead. I’ll close for you.”

“T-thanks man.” He mutters. He stumbles out of the store, making the silver bell ring once more. Surprisingly, that had remained untouched.

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Bob wanders in at around nine thirty. The streets are dark save the streetlamps, and everything is quiet. He nods at Dante, then the cigarette holder. I nod back and toss him a pack.

“Free of charge.”

Bob smiles at him gratefully and unravels the plastic on them.

“Where’s Jay?” He asks.

Bob motions his head toward the direction of the sidewalk and then rolls and imaginary blunt. Dealing.

“I don’t get why you guys don’t get real jobs and do something with your lives.”

Bob shrugs and looks down at the floor. Bob followed Jay. And Jay did not plan on getting a job. Ever.

An awkward silence lapses between the two. Silence never bothered him before. Bob couldn’t figure it out. Dante couldn’t figure himself out.

So the two stood there, looking at each other. Both tired, slightly high and/or drunk and both completely unguarded.

Usually, in the sappy chick flicks that Dante had been dragged to with Caitlin, this is where they kissed. Usually, this is the part where Bob watches Jay attack some chick’s STD-ridden mouth.

Either way, it was supposed to happen. So they kissed. It wasn’t a sappy, over dramatic kiss, and it wasn’t a vain, lusty kiss. It was just a kiss. And during that kiss; the clock turned it's hands to symbolize ten 'o clock, closing time.

They looked at each other and they smiled. They leaned in again and as their lips were about to touch, song rang through the store.

“LET ME HELP YOU OUT OF THE CHAIR GRANDMA! LET ME TOUCH YOU, LET ME FEEL YOU!” two fucked up voices hollered. Jay and Randal.

Bob and Dante groaned; but everything was as it should be.