My Guardian Angel In Disguise

I eventually decided to wait in my room; my self consciousness had won the fight. I always knew it would. I looked around my room. The walls were a usual, boring white. I think its white lace… They were bare. I had no posters or paintings or even a memo board to post notes. I didn’t have things to remember, I didn’t have a social life, I had no friends to do things with, and I didn’t do any extra curricular activities. Therefore, I had no notes or schedules, ergo, no memo board. I wasn’t crazy about any boy bands or celebrities. I liked art, it was interesting and I appreciated it, I just didn’t feel the need to put it on my walls. My room was very tidy. I couldn’t stand not being able to find things or having grime on my desk.

Suddenly the door bell rung. My head snapped up and away from my bed’s duvet cover. I was trying to remember what shade of yellow it was. Now that I thought of it, it was a very sickly, pale yellow. I crinkled my nose. How had I ever chosen this? It looked like I had an accident…

I counted to ten in my head and then yelled “Coming!” as if I were far off into the house, occupied by something else. It was silly and stupid but I didn’t want him to know I’d been waiting for him, and especially not right here, so close to the front door. Then I waited 5 seconds and walked out of my door. I opened the door and a smile crept upon my face.

He grinned back.
“Hey, Claire.” He said casually.
“Hi,” I said shyly, looking down.
“Let’s go,”
I nodded and walked out the door, locking it.
He walked me to his truck.
“It’s open,” he said, walking over to the driver’s side.
I nodded. But I secretly wished he would open the door for me like I saw him do for Robin…
I shook off the thought. If I was going to be hanging out with Ray I couldn’t think like that. He was just a friend. Or not a friend at all… either way, I had to stop this. He wasn’t mine. I wasn’t his. We weren’t a ‘we.’ I was just Claire to him. Nothing more. And I’d have to think of him the same way.
I opened the door and got in.
Ray got in and started the engine. He looked over at me.
“You look nice.” he complimented me.
I blushed, “thanks,” I said awkwardly and looked away out the window.
When we got to the intersection I expected him to turn on Robin’s street, but he went the other direction. Also at that moment I realized that he had let me get in the front. Where his girlfriend had sat last time.
“Aren’t you going to pickup, Robin?” I asked puzzled.
“She’s going by herself,”
I was baffled.
“Why?” I blurted out, unthinkingly. Why would Robin miss the opportunity to be alone with Ray? Especially if he was taking me there. Did they have a fight? It just didn’t add up. That thought made me smile darkly. Then I realized that this wasn’t my business and I shouldn’t be interested. “I—I mean… I—…sorry...” I spluttered. “I—I—It’s none of my business… sorry,”
He ignored my confusing attempts at apologizing.
“I just thought it would be best,”
My mind couldn’t compute.
I turned to stare at him questionably, my eyebrows puckered.
“It’s better this way. Robin—” he looked down at me, as if he had forgotten I was here. “What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her,” he explained.
Oh; my face fell. Me. It would be better if Robin didn’t know that he was taking me and had invited me. But a small part of me was happy that he wanted to be with me enough to lie to the witch.

We were near little shops and restaurants now. People were walking around, laughing, talking; socializing. We were in downtown Jameston.
Ray pulled into a parking space.
“Listen,” he whispered to me after we had gotten out of the car. His lips were so close to my ear it made me shiver. Ray seemed uneasy. “I don’t want to have to ask you to lie for me… but, I guess that’s what I’m doing. If you could just say, you’re parents dropped you off? I would be eternally grateful.” I looked straight into his eyes. I didn’t mind lying for him; I wouldn’t mind doing anything for him. “It’s just, I-” he tried to explain. I pressed a finger to his lips.
“It’s okay, I got it.”
He opened his mouth to say more but I shook my head and nodded at him with a little wink.
I was half-hurt and half-smirking. I was sad that he didn’t want anyone to know that he picked me up, that we were friends, but most of all I was hurt that no one had ever known we were neighbors or had been best friends, that he never mentioned it. But, then again, why would he mention me?

But I liked the idea of this being our little secret. I loved that part. It sounded so… cute. Our thing, no one else has to know. But, that made me seem like some whore. It made me sound like a brat, like I was sneaking around with Robin’s boyfriend, as if Robin was cheating on her. I grimaced because, even if I’d never admit it, a small part of me was relishing just that thought. If it was Ray, there were no boundaries I wouldn’t cross.

I followed Ray into what resembled a club. I started freaking out, is that a bar? Crap, I thought. Of course, just like in movies and books. Fake identities, getting drunk, cops calling parents.

I was sure I was hyperventilating. I couldn’t do this. This wasn’t me; I couldn’t act for my life. I didn’t look older, the smell of stale beer make my nose sting.
I just wasn’t ‘cool’ enough.
They were all piled up at a table. There were only about 6 chairs but people were up on table tops, sitting on laps, and leaning against walls.

“Ray!” everyone cheered in unison and people skipped off to meet us. (Or, rather, Ray.)
The table that was once overflowing with teenagers was now empty.
Wow, I thought, astonished. Ray literally could clean out a room by just walked out of it.
“Claire,” a lazy voice said.
I jumped because the voice was so near me and everyone seemed to be crowded round Ray.
Another string of profanities played in my head as I noted the voice’s owner.
“Matt,” I breathed, defeated.

“So, you remember,” he said, smugly and winked. “Must’ve been thinking that name a lot.”
God, I thought. He was so vain, he thought so highly of himself and expected everyone to do the same, when, in reality, they thought quite the opposite.

Well, no. That’s not a hundred percent true. Most of these Barbies would just love to have Matt hit on them. They were probably glaring at me, envy sharp in their eyes, right now. But, not me. Like I already have tried to explain, I’m just not what you would call ‘the usual.’

But instead of reciting those words to his face, mine glowed neon red and I bit on my lip nervously.

“What are you two talking about?” a voice asked. Or maybe demanded would be a better word. His tone was thick with irritation.
“Nothin’, just talkin’ to this gorgeous babe here, Ray.”
I grimaced.
“No, actually,” I hesitated, “I was just going to find June and Tracy,”
Ray raised an eyebrow, but Matt stayed delusional as always.