Don't Say Never

I sighed as I took one last look at the place I have called my home my entire life. Everything was desolate, as I tried to picture it as it was once before. The couch in the corner, the ugly blue rug mom had bought at a thrift shop, the punch stains Shaina and I made when we were younger, and even the table lamp from the Disco era.
Those were the things that made my life. The things that made me, me. But for the past two weeks, I lost any definition of who that girl once was.

“Are you ready?” My sister asked sadly as she placed a hand on my shoulder.

I turned to look at her. Her clothes were wrinkled, her hair was knotty, she wore no makeup, and her normally bright brown eyes were watery. Seeing her the way she was brought tears to my own eyes as I pulled her into a hug.

“I love you sissy, and we’ll be fine as long as we stick together, I promise.” I told her running a thumb below her eyes, drying the tears that slowly cascaded down her face. “Come on, we have a plane to catch.” I said as I lead her reluctantly out of the house and into the cab.

I looked back once more, as I watched my childhood, my life, fade away into tiny specks down a lone snowy road.

***

“Welcome home squirt!” My dad said into my ear as he gave me a big hug.

“Hey Dad,” I said glumly as he took our bags and handed them to the driver as we got into the car.

“How are my beautiful girls?” he asked with huge smile on his face that was beginning to make me sick. I knew he meant well, but couldn’t he tell we were still grieving.

“Same as we have been for the last 14 days, eleven hours, and 15 minutes.” Shai shrugged as we pulled behind the gates of a lavish neighborhood, and up the large driveway of a house that made our house look like an ant.

My dad had moved twice since the last time we saw him, so this was all new to us. “Wow.” I breathed staring at the house in amazement.

“Charles will bring the stuff in. Come on, Colleen has been dying to see you both,” He said as we followed him into the house.

Colleen. Well, Colleen was my dad’s wife of 3 years and well she was nice I guess, but she wasn’t even close to comparable to my mom. She and my dad had been together for about 6 years before they got married, sharing a daughter, my little sister Jacqueline, or Jackie as we liked to call her. She was eight, and one of the most amazing kids you could ever meet.

“Your rooms are up the stairs to the left, it shouldn’t be too hard to find from here. I’m going to get Colleen, but go and explore.” My dad urged as he went to look for his companion.

“Bee!! Shai Shai!!” came the voice of Madison as we stood awkwardly by the front door while the young eight year old came to hug Shaina and I.

“Hello girls, welcome home!” Colleen said energetically, but kindly, entering the room with my dad by her side.

I smiled stiffly as my eyes trickled with water. Home? This wasn’t my home. My home was in Colorado, with My Aunt Janie, Uncle Mark, my friends, and most importantly my mom.

Last I checked, this was California, not home.

***

I was getting settled in my new room and Shaina in hers , when I saw the box I had kept of my mom’s stuff.

I opened the lid slowly as the fresh scent of her perfume filled the air. I breathed it all in and took a deep breath as I began pulling out pictures of my mom, Shaina, and I while at the park, Chuck E. Cheese, soccer games, and school assemblies, it was all there, every single memory we had together.

I felt hot tears fall down my face once again, but they were happy tears this time. Tears that told me to cherish these memories forever.

I felt around in the box until I came across a small key. It was the key to her old guitar. Stella, she liked to call her.

I looked around my room until I found the guitar case sitting in the corner. I inserted the key then turned it right as a faint click was heard.

I held the neck of the guitar as I grazed my fingers slowly over the words on the strap.

Pau o'le ola aloha.

Pau o'le ola aloha. Never ending love is life.
Love is never ending, my mom would say. No matter how many times your heart breaks, there will always be enough left to share with someone. She would always tell us this, reminding us that with love is life and when you live your life, only then is there true happiness.

The strap was beautifully woven, but seeing as that my mom had it since she was my age it been coming undone. I took off the strap and walked to Shaina’s room.

Her door was open as she laid on her bed staring at the ceiling. “Care to take a drive?” I asked her.

“I was actually going to go for a walk, maybe check out the neighborhood.” She said.

I nodded understandingly, “Okay uh….I‘ll see you later then.”

I went downstairs to see my dad with his head in his hands, as Colleen rubbed his back comfortingly.

“Uh Dad?” I said, getting his attention.

He looked up surprisingly and smiled in my direction.

“Uh, I’m going to go out for awhile, there is something I need to do is that okay?” I asked.

He nodded, “Sure, your still new to this area, so I’ll have Charles take you.”

“Thanks.” I said making my way to the door.

“Bailey?” he called out, as I turned to face him.

“Be careful.” I nodded my head and made my way out the door.

***

“Hi, can I help you with something?” asked the cashier at the front of the store.

“Um, yes there is something you could help me with. It says you make personalized guitar straps, I was wondering if there was anyway you could repair this one.” I told him while handing the strap over.

He examined it carefully, “Let me ask my boss and see if it could be done, she has to look over so it might take a couple minutes. Feel free to look around.” He said before retreating to a back room.

I walked through the aisles, taking in everything they had picking up some polish for the guitar and some extra strings.

I was looking at this really cool green guitar strap, when a husky voice came from behind me.

“Of course I already bought his present what kind of brother would I be if I didn’t? Okay yes I’ll be home soon, bye.” he said ending his phone conversation.

He was fairly tall, and you could tell by his attire and arm muscles that he worked out. He was just wearing a white sleeveless t-shirt and some black basketball shorts. His hair was dark brown almost black, slightly wavy. From what I could see, he was good looking.

I watched him as he walked down the aisle looking at the different polishes. Inspecting each, holding them a bit too close to his face.

And just when I thought about how dangerous that could be, he yelped suddenly. Evidently getting some of the spray polish in his eye.

I ran quickly to his side as he held on to his eye.

“Oh my gosh are you okay. Here you need to move your hand so I ….ugh just one sec let me get you some water.”

I ran quickly to the cashier’s desk and rang the bell repeatedly until the guy came out. “ugh the strap can’t be fixed. Its too delicate,” he said handing it over to me. He had a water in his hand so I snatched it as well, while he yelled a quick ‘Hey’ and ran back to the guy who was on the floor sitting down and holding his eye.

“I need you to move your hand and hold your eye lid open, okay?” He did as instructed. “Stay still.” He soon relaxed as I washed the chemicals out of his eye.

Staring down at him, I caught a full glimpse of his face. Deep, rich brown eyes with flecks of gold, and defined chiseled features. He was gorgeous.

I caught him staring intently at me as well, causing my cheeks to turn a light shade of pink.

“Uhm, are you okay?” I asked him standing up and giving him a hand, which sent chills down my entire body.

“I am, thanks to you. Wow, I know I’ve done stupid things, but that was stupid.” He said laughing at himself as I smiled, the first real smile in a long time. “Ugh how did you know what to do?” he asked quizzically.

“Well its common sense really, but I guess I just paid attention in my chemistry class.”

He nodded. “That might explain it, I never really did like chemistry. Ugh nice strap you got there.” he said motioning to the guitar strap in my hand.

“Thanks.” I said politely.

He smiled, “I’m actually looking for a strap for my brother’s birthday, but haven’t found any nice ones, where’d you get that one?” he asked.

“Oh birthday that’s nice. I uh, I’m Bailey by the way.” I told him completely avoiding his question. I wasn’t about to explain everything to a total stranger.

He looked at me funny before responding. “Uh okay. Bailey that’s a nice name my name is-”

He was cut off by a big black man who came over with a large smirk. “sorry to interrupt, but we need to go, the party starts in three hours and we still need to pick up that stuff. Let’s go.” The guy said leaving us as the guy I helped nodded understandingly.

“Uh well, I kind of have to go. But it was really nice meeting you Dr. Bailey, you are my hero.” He said smiling, as he backed into a shelf. He looked at me with red cheeks, as I tried stifling my laughter. He waved bye before he left, as I return the gesture.

That was interesting to say the least. But what I couldn’t help but ignore were the chills sent through my body as our hands touched. It was a feeling I had never experienced before, but I know I liked it. But sadly, I’d never see him again, and I never even got his name.

That was what plagued me the entire ride home. I couldn’t shake him or that feeling away.

When I got home, I told Shaina everything and she said maybe he’s my supposed soul mate. But I just laughed at that.

Now I was getting ready for this birthday party she was dragging me too for this guy she had met on her walk after she was apparently attacked by Elvis. I had no clue what she was talking about, I was to busy thinking about him and his handsome smile.

I had no idea what was coming.