Fever

“Jaz, what was I thinking?” I groaned into the receiver, pacing a hole into my carpet. “I-I don’t know what was going through my mind, I was just distracted.”

“Kayla, calm down! This is just what you wanted, why are you freaking out?” she laughed from the other end.

I glanced out the front window at the empty street, glad that my parents weren’t going to be home until later. If my mother had found me in such a state, she would have demanded an answer and cut off all contact with Jasmine. I had to get a hold of myself. I had to find Kayla deep inside this love struck female that was taking hold of my body.

“I’m freaking out because this is the first time for me to be bad! It’s scary!” I laughed, trying to find an adequate reaction. “I mean, I have never really lied to my parents before. I just tell them what they need to know, and you do the deceiving. What if they catch me? What if I’m not allowed to see him again?”

“You’re such an amateur, girl,” Jasmine sighed, “just keep doing what you’re doing now. Say you’re with me, or at school working on a project.”

“My mom is going to want to see it. And if I’m not at school, you know my mother will find out. She always does,” I moaned. “I can’t do this, how can I make excuses to see him when she won’t even let me leave as it is?”

“You can use me as an excuse, and why don’t you take up a hobby? What about jogging?” she suggested.

“Jogging? I think my parents would know something was up if I started jogging.”

I could hear her groaning on the other end, but I knew her pain was only from my constant excuses. I was going through a crisis, having my mind torn apart by two different desires. I had never been faced with a fork in the road before; it had always been a dreary, generic stone walkway. Now, I was stuck trying to go both ways.

With my heart hammering in my chest, and Jacob’s touch still pulsing through my veins, I realised I had to calm down. Being erratic and uncontrolled wasn’t me. I was calm and quiet, and above all else, I could resolve any situation. I collapsed onto the couch beneath the window and closed my eyes. Jasmine didn’t make a sound as I took deep breaths and tried to slow my heart down, even if just seconds slower. I knew that it would never behave the same after meeting its match, but I could still drop it to a safe level.

“Okay,” I decided, “I’ll take up jogging. Isn’t there a path through the woods by school?”

“Yeah, there’s tons. There’s also a path a few blocks from my place that leads to the reservation,” I could hear her smile in her voice.

“Jogging, okay,” I recited. “I have jogging and you as my excuses, but will that be enough?”

“As long as you actnormal then you will be fine,” she said. “So when are you going to see him again?”

I smiled tentatively at the memory, “Well, he gave me his number. He said when I was ready to take the chance, he would be waiting.”

“What a patient guy,” she laughed, “any guy willing to wait for you gets my blessing. And you are the most indecisive person I have ever met.”

I sighed, “Yeah, I know.”

Jacob was the kind of man that was supposed to be imaginary. He rode in on a motorcycle and stole my heart. And on top of his good looks, he was willing to take this in paces. He wanted to wait. Men who didn’t get their way never wanted to wait on a girl that may never come to. I smiled gently, feeling almost guilty for relishing in memories of him. He really was perfect, by my own definition. If he was willing to wait, then I was willing to try.

“Kay? You still with me?”

Jacob had written his number on an old Chemistry assignment, scrawled in messy print. One quick look at the page, and you wouldn’t see anything apart from elements and their equations. But if you looked closer, right below question fourteen, Jacob had printed his number, completely disguised by the equations. I tucked it into the drawer in the table next to my bed, right beneath my combs and keepsakes. I don’t think I even told Jasmine where I hid it, for the sake of keeping some of my reputation.

I was ashamed to say that I didn’t need the paper. That number had been burnt into my memory from the first moment I took it in. But I kept the paper anyway, as evidence of his dedication.

“Say you love me,” Jasmine called loudly across the classroom, startling me from my day dreaming.

Class hadn’t started yet, but Jasmine still received a bitter look from the professor at the front of the room. He sat there, his head in his hand, watching as the rest of the class trickled in. But his eyes weren’t the only ones that landed on Jasmine, mostly everyone in the class looked at her in curiosity.

“Come on, say it,” she grinned, sliding next to me on the stool.

“I’d like to know why I love you before I say it,” I said quietly, trying to shield the conversation from the prying eyes.

“Three words: La Push Saturday,” she grinned.

My face was faster to react than my mind was, and I was glowing before I even uttered, “What? We can’t go down there!”

“Not just us,” she grinned wider, if that were possible, “Kennedy invited us - well, technically me, but I can ask you to come if I want.”

“Kennedy? Like, eighth grade love, Kennedy?” I asked lightly, remember the name.

“If you haven’t seen, a lot has changed since eighth grade. Have you seen his arms? I couldn’t not say yes,” she beamed.

As I had mentioned before, Jasmine liked to test the waters with a lot of men. And Kennedy Heinz was one of those many men. In eighth grade, when everyone was still discovering who they were, Jasmine decided she would see if boys were all that bad. For a couple of weeks they held hands, kissed cheeks, and pretended like the other hadn’t existed. It was immature and childish, and ended through a quick ‘it’s not working’. I guess with maturity came rekindling.

“Basically, Kennedy and his friends want to go surfing, apparently the waves are supposed to be huge,” she grinned.

I looked at her sceptically, “But you don’t surf. And it’s almost winter.”

“Oh, I don’t plan on going anywhere near the water,” she grinned. “I figured it would be great for both of us! I get to go out with Kennedy, and you will get a great excuse and some time to see Jacob.”

“My mother won’t let me anywhere near La Push, you realise,” I pointed out.

“Need to know basis, Kay,” she smiled. “You know that a day with me can turn into anything. Just say you’re going out with friends.”

I hadn’t noticed I was holding my breath and nodded, “Okay. I can do that.”

“Of course you can. You can use my cell if you want to give him a call after school and tell him what’s up,” she smiled.

“I can call him from home,” I said, preferring to be alone when I spoke with him.

“And have your mom scan over the phone bill for the mysterious number? I think not,” she laughed even louder, earning an eye from the teacher. “Just use my cell.”

The lingering eye from the front of the class seemed to signify the end of our conversation for the time being, and we both sat as the lesson began with his drawling voice. I didn’t pay attention to the lecture. I found myself acting the same way through most of them, drifting off to daydream about Jacob. The other day had seemed very terrifying, but as I thought back on it, it couldn’t have gone any better. If he hadn’t made that physical contact, I could have told him to go away. I could have denied him.

But he wanted to change my mind, and I needed him to do it. My mother’s concerns were slowly migrating to the back of my mind, and the only way I thought of her was in relation of dodging her suspicions. Jasmine had convinced me that seeing Jacob behind her back was protecting her, and even if she did find out, she wouldn’t feel as disappointed as if I had gone to see her family instead. Protecting her seemed like a good enough excuse, that was what I told myself everyday.

By the time the end of school had come around, my script had already been drawn up through the lessons I should have been paying attention to. Jasmine was trying to give me some pointers as she dug through her purse for her phone, pausing to throw a hand gesture in as she went through all of the conversations she had had. But Jacob wasn’t like all of the guys Jasmine had dated. He was different, and I knew that no matter what I said to him, he wouldn’t react the same way as I would.

“Okay, so are you ready for this?” she asked, her eyes glistening.

I nodded my head, as if preparing myself, “Yeah, I think I can do this.”

She handed the silver mobile device to me, and with a deep breath, I dialled the numbers I had memorised. Naturally, Jasmine would have pointed out by now of how pathetic it was that I remembered his number, but she stood there, smiling instead. With the phone poised at my ear, I listened to the dial tone as it rang.

“Hello?” a deep, cracked voice answered.

I could tell right away that this wasn’t Jacob, “Hi, is Jacob there?”

“Jacob? Who’s calling?” he asked.

I stared wide-eyed at Jasmine, and squeaked out my name, “Kayla.”

“Kayla? Hm - let me go get him.”

As he went to retrieve Jacob, I covered the mouthpiece and whispered to Jasmine, “He asked me my name! What if-“

“Shh!” Jasmine tried to retain her laughter, lifting her finger to quiet my worries.

On the other end of the line, I couldn’t hear anything. I waited, focused on even the slightest of noises for Jacob to answer. Maybe he wasn’t home; maybe he was still at school. I started to nibble on my lower lip, hoping that he would answer. I peered over at Jasmine once more before the phone clattered loudly and a deep, silky out of breath voice answered.

“Hello? Kayla?”

I didn’t think I would ever get over the way he said my name, no matter what state he was in. The way he spoke it was so gentle, like saying it too roughly would break me. I smiled widely, having to turn away from Jasmine to hide my elation.

“Hi Jacob,” I said airily, trying to suppress the giggles that were trying to work their way out.

“I was hoping you’d call,” he responded, his voice more even.

Jasmine prodded me in the back, probably having her own hysterical fit at how bashful I was acting. She had never seen me like this before, and I knew that it even surprised myself.

“A bunch of my friends are going down to the beach in La Push on Saturday,” I started slowly, “and I thought that if you didn’t have any other plans that we could meet up?”

He laughed, “I would clear any plans for you, come on.”

My heart skipped a beat, and I had to try harder to stop from acting like a child, “We’ll probably be down there by ten, if that isn’t too early for you?”

“No, ten is good. Ten isgreat,” he said joyfully.

“So Saturday, then,” I repeated, “at ten.”

“Saturday it is/I],” his tone beamed.

“I’ll...see you then,” I said shyly.

“See you then.”

I waited a moment before I hung up the phone, letting go the breath I didn’t know I had been holding.

“So?” Jasmine prodded.

I turned around, the small smile ripping open into a grin as I looked at her. She recognised the look in my eyes, and in unison we both erupted into a series of laughter and delight. I threw my arms around her neck and felt my feet leave the ground as I jumped up and down. I had never felt so happy before. This feeling was past me, and I didn’t know such an emotion existed. I felt as I had gone back to my childhood and had the best experiences one could think of. The feeling I had was so uplifting; I didn’t know how I stayed on the ground.

Jasmine was still laughing, squeezing me as she choked out; “now all we have to do is get you through until Saturday.”