Fever

The following day was filled with glances over my shoulder and a wandering attention. At every available moment I stared through the panes at the campus and the surrounding trees waiting for something to emerge. The day was overcast and windy, blowing stray flakes of snow across the yard. The snow was hard and slick, yet it remained untouched in various places. The remnants of snowmen and forts were melded into awkward shapes, and one vaguely resembled the pointed snout of a giant wolf…

My mind hadn’t started to work properly since Jacob had decided to shatter everything I thought I knew. I was battling between a world of ignorance and world full of things I would never know. My stubbornness held onto the rationality that I was unstable, or perhaps that I had had some kind of delusion. It wanted to believe desperately that there were no such things as giant wolves or shape shifters, or even a threat in this small, dingy town. But the other side was filled with an overpowering fear that was eating away at the remnants of naivete. It was the fear that Jacob couldn’t protect me or my family, that Jacob couldn’t be saved.

On and off I fought with each side, trying to rationalise one moment, and then giving into fear the next. My imagination began a slideshow of images that not even my nightmares would have been made of. I was sick to my stomach with grief and worry. What if right now, Jacob was fighting for his life? What if the wolf from the other night had his throat between those jagged teeth?

Jasmine hadn’t sensed my worry that morning when she and Kennedy picked me up. I sat there quietly while the two of them continued their avid conversation, unaware of anything but mumbles. But with the absence of Kennedy, she began to notice my distant gaze and my lack of focus. And soon the kind of worry I felt settled on her features, for entirely different reasons.

“Did your parents catch you last night?”

I didn’t acknowledge her words for they fell deaf to my ears. Most of the surrounding noise sounded so far away when my mind was in such a state. The teachers’ drones were so silent that when they directed their attention towards me, I couldn’t be bothered.

“Kayla? Are you alive there?” she chuckled half-heartedly.

She touched my shoulder gently, and for the first time all day, I turned and looked at her. She had that worry line creased over her brows, and her lips were pulled into a thin purse. She searched my face for something that would indicate what was wrong, but there was no way she could begin to fathom what was going on in my mind.

“What’s wrong?” she asked quietly, “You’ve been acting strange all day.”

“I-“ I cleared my throat, trying to pull off a normal tone, “I didn’t sleep well last night. I’m just tired, that’s all.”

“It looks like you’re a little more than tired, girl.”

“I just need to go home and get a good night sleep,” I felt the corners of my lips force themselves upwards, “or maybe two.”

“Well don’t worry about our study night, I can handle it by myself for a night or two.”

“Are you sure?” I asked, even though I had no intention of studying.

“Yeah,” she smiled softly, “just get some rest.”

I nodded and then turned back towards the window, shutting out the rest of the lesson.

That evening, my parents paid little notice to my behaviour. My father sat in the living room with Jeopardy on, trying his best to answer the questions before the contestants did. My mother, on the other hand, was busy on the phone talking to one of her co-workers. With both of them distracted, I could wander away from dinner early and hide away in my room. They probably thought I was being a good student and working diligently. But all I could do was sit on my bed, staring at the window. I refused to open the blinds for what I might see outside of it.

I stayed in that position for hours, listening carefully to the sounds around me. I could hear the shuffling of my mother’s slippers on the hardwood, scuffing in the kitchen, in the hallway, and finally all the way into bed. My father joined her after the ten o’clock news from Seattle, shutting off the television and leaving the house covered in a soft, gentle silence. Even their breathing seemed to be shut off.

I found myself uncurling my legs from beneath me and moving forward towards the window that covered the topmost part of my wall. With two fingers, I split the blinds in two and stared into the dark yard. The light from the moon was hidden by a pack of clouds, coating everything in night. I could make out the swaying branches and some of the tall arms that held up patches of snow. But I peered beneath those branches into the heart of the forest, watching and waiting for something to reveal itself. The longer I watched, nothing happened. Wolves didn’t come rolling out of the trees, gnashing at each other’s neck. Jacob didn’t emerge, nor did any of the other men.

What was I really waiting for? Was I waiting for the wolf to come for me and tear through my family? I felt my stomach turn over and let the blinds fall back into place. I knew that there was something waiting in the woods just beyond my sight. Jacob had told me what he would protect me, that the others were watching and waiting to come to my rescue. But who was out there tonight? Would it be the wolf with the ice blue eyes, or the pair of chocolate ones that I was bound to?

Silently, I crept out of my room and down the hall into the kitchen. The backdoor was locked at the handle and with a deadbolt, and all the surrounding blinds and curtains were pulled down. Inside, I was safe. Inside, I could fear what I could not see. But inside wasn’t good enough and I turned the handle and unlocked the deadbolt, opening the door to the frigid air. My father’s boots were sitting at the back door and I slid into them, closing the door quietly behind me. I took my steps slowly out into the yard, glancing into the trees that surrounded the yard on all three sides. I could feel something watching me, their sight crawling all over my skin. I wrapped my arms around me, coming to a halt just on the edge of the trees.

I wanted to call out to them, to tell them to reveal themselves, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. I just waited, peering into the trees. Eventually, there was a soft pad of bare feet on the frozen forest floor and from the shadows emerged a bronze man in a pair of torn jeans and a pair of eyes that I had seen before – Sam.

“You shouldn’t be out here, it’s not safe,” he said, almost mirroring the words he had spoken last time we met.

“It’s just as safe in there as it is out here.”

He nodded, stepping out farther from the protection of the forest, “Something tells me you were not expecting one of us to show up tonight.”

“I don’t know what to expect anymore,” my voice was quiet, “something is always watching me.”

“We are here for your protection, for you and your family.”

“What about the rest of Forks? Are they in danger too?”

“We are unsure of what lengths this pack will go to achieve their goal, but we do know that you and the others are their primary targets.”

“Others?” I questioned.

“Yes, the others have found their mates and these wolves will use them all against our pack in order to gain their allegiance.”

“Jacob would never join them,” I countered, “especially if they killed me.”

“There are things you don’t understand, Kayla.”

“Why is everyone telling me that I don’t understand?” I felt my frustration starting to get the better of me. “I am perfectly capable of understanding! I found out that there are crazy wolves after me and I haven’t broken apart yet!”

“With time you may come to understand all of our ways, but for now you need to get your rest.”

“No, I want to know why I am so important in all of this. Why me?”

Sam searched my eyes without a single flutter of his lashes, going back and forth from orb to orb, “Because you and Jacob are connected by bonds stronger than mere emotions. It is ancient magic, the same kind that allows us to take on the wolf form that connects mates together.”

I nodded, urging him to continue.

“Each pack has one leader and that leader can overturn any mental decision their pack chooses to make. Like the bond of mates, the bond between leader and pack is just as strong.”

“You’re their leader, aren’t you?”

“I am, and that is why we are protecting you and the others.”

“I still don't get why I am in the middle of this, Sam.”

“Like me, they have a leader that controls their pack and influences their movements. They have destroyed clans across the coast looking for wolves ready to join their cause and ones they can manipulate into joining. There are two ways they can gain their allegiance if the wolves are unwilling,” he stopped speaking and looked towards my house, waiting a moment before he turned back to me. “If the leader of a pack is dead, another alpha may take over the pack.”

“And what’s the other way?” I asked, although I felt I knew part of the answer already.

“These wolves are manipulating the bonds between mates. The bond between mates is much stronger than between alpha and its pack. They have managed to use that bond against the wolves once the bond has been compromised.”

“Compromised? You mean…” I trailed off.

“Yes. Once that bond has been severed, the alpha leader of these rebels has been able to use that to transfer the wolf’s allegiance. I have never heard of an alpha doing such things before, but it isn’t impossible.”

“So I’m going to die? And Jacob is going to join the rebels because I died?”

“There is still much you don’t and won’t understand, not now.”

I went to counter the argument when another one appeared from the shadows, a hard look on his face, “We’ve seen some movement on the North side of the reservation, Paul thinks they’re going to make a strike on Lily.”

“Proceed with caution and return to your wolf form, I will do the same,” he told the boy. “Tell the others to hold their ground, there are more out there than what we see. We must not give them an opening.”

“Can do,” he nodded before he ran into the woods silently and disappeared.

“I must ask you to return to your home,” Sam motioned towards the house, “and request that you get some sleep.”

This time I couldn’t refuse his request. There was something about Sam that was gentle and fierce and I wasn’t sure whether to be afraid of him or not.

“All right, be safe.”

“It is you I ask to be safe and cautious,” he replied, “I’m not lying when I tell you this.”

“Okay Sam, good night,” I smiled at him as best as I could, and retraced my steps all the way back into my bed as he requested. That night, I closed my eyes and told myself that with Sam watching over me, there was nothing to worry about. And that false sense of security allowed me to drift into a semblance of a sleep that was disrupted only hours later.