Fever

I was surrounded by forestry, lost in the maze of trees and branches, unable to find my bearings. A small part of me knew I had been here before, sometime not so long ago, but I was unable to find anything familiar. I pushed my way through the branches, stepping over and through snow and piles of dead leaves, but I never got closer to wherever I was going. I just kept getting more lost every moment, yet I wasn’t as worried about finding my way as I was about the pair of eyes that were following my every move.

The heavy weight of the stare pressed down on me no matter where I ran. Around me all I could see was trees and darkness, but I knew there was something, someone there. The panic started to build as I swatted at branches, pushed through brambles, fighting to find an exit from the stare. I tumbled forward into a clearing that was strikingly familiar, more so than the trees that loomed over me. For a moment I thought I saw my own footprints in the snow before me, but as I looked closer they looked less human and more canine…

I fingered the print in the snow, tracing the enormous paw. Rather than feel slightly relieved, the panic had reached the edges of my body and my hand began to tremble. It fell into sync with the growl that pierced the thick silence around me, and as I looked up towards the source, a pair of ice-blue eyes and glistening teeth bore down on me. I opened my mouth to scream as the wolf sprang towards me, but the wolf’s guttural vibrations drowned it out. I closed my eyes tightly, awaiting the sting of the teeth as it met my flesh, but it never came. When I reopened my eyes, Jacob was leaning over me, a small smile on his face.

“You’re warm,” Jacob said softly, his fingers running across my forehead.

“I-I had a dream,” I muttered, “it was nothing.”

He smiled down at me, “You know you mumble in your sleep.”

“I-it was nothing, just a little scare.”

“You don’t have to worry, I’ll end this, I promise.”

The conviction in his eyes was convincing, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going to happen, something bad. I lay there silently, trying to keep my mind from darting to the darker places I had been dwelling over the past night. The afternoon sun was starting to dip, slowly counting down until we had to act. The whole day everyone had been silent, only speaking to sort out how everything was going to work. Jacob guessed that the wolves would attack at dusk, trying to use it as their advantage, and so we waited out the day for the moment where it began.

“Sam would be proud of you,” I said quietly, playing with the fraying ends of the blanket that was wrapped around me. “These guys would be so lost without you.”

“I’m only doing what I think Sam would,” Jacob’s voice was strong but lacked confidence, “I hope I’m doing the right thing.”

I held back my response, deciding to choose another, but before I could reply there was a knock at the door and Emily stuck her head through the crack. Her face was hard and serious, a vast change from when I had met her only hours before.

“It’s time.”

I sat in the back of Billy’s pick up, cradling Sam’s head in my lap. His face was blank, almost as if he were in another world altogether. He was wrapped in blankets and placed gently in the bed of the truck, along with three other girls who said nothing and kept their gazes away from Sam. Behind us, Emily stood next to her car with the rest sitting huddled in the backseat. We were all draped in jackets and clothes that concealed our scents; trading off what clothes we could share to the pack. While we escaped, a few of them would carry our scents to distract the wolves, hoping to at least give up a long enough window where we could reach the reservation.

The air around the cottage was tense, filled with fear and anticipation. The pack would shoot glances over their shoulders and into the trees every so often, trying not to let their hands tremble. Mine were shaking against the blankets that covered Sam’s lifeless body, so much that it was difficult to conceal. The other girls in the bed looked scared too, but their hands were steady.

“Are you ready?” Jacob asked softly, coming up beside the truck.

I tore my gaze away from Sam, trying to mimic any other looks than fright. Just by the reflection in his eyes, I could see I couldn’t hide my unease. He reached over and placed a hand over mine, trying to stop them from vibrating the way they were. Even though he was not sure of himself, of his decision, he didn’t let it show. He knew he had to be strong and he was.

“As soon as you get back to La Push, there will be a party waiting. Whatever you do, do not leave their security. I want you to stay out of harm’s way, okay?”

Even though we had been over the plan so many times, I was still uneasy. I felt so much safer being near Jacob, as probably did the other mates, but he was sending us far away from them.

“Listen, they know what to do. The elders are well versed in the history, they know how to protect you.”

“But how do you know they can? I’ve seen them take down trees like they were blades of grass,” I said quietly. “We’re the equivalent of ants to them. They’ll pick us off like insects.”

Despite the situation, Jacob’s lips curved into his crooked smile. It reminded me of when I first met him, making my heart skip a beat. I grasped his hand between mine, trying to savor his warmth for just a little bit longer. I wanted to convince myself that this wouldn’t be the last time I could hold it.

“Have I ever told you that you worry too much?” he gave a small chuckle. “Silver won’t kill them, but it’ll hurt like hell. Pump them full of silver pellets and they won’t do more than a kitten.”

“Please don’t compare them to kittens, not at a time like this.”

“You gotta trust me, Kay,” he whispered, “you gotta trust all of us. I won’t let them hurt you.”

It was hard not to believe him with the way he watched me. When I looked into his eyes, it quelled whatever fear I had for the moment. In his eyes, there was nothing but the two of us and nothing else. No families disapproving, no betraying, no danger, no nothing; just us. And for the moment I forgot about the evening that was looming over the group of us.

“Remember what I said, be safe.”

He gave me a small, warm kiss that lingered only for a second before the cold night stole it away. He withdrew his hand and returned to the rest of the pack, leaving my cold and steady one over Sam’s chest. I dropped my eyes back to him, almost waiting for him to awake and take the pressure off of Jacob’s shoulders. But the longer I watched him, the less alive he seemed.

“Here we go,” Jacob’s voice was quiet, but firm. “Quil and Paul, you’re both up first.”

The two of them had clothes ripped and tied to their bodies to spread the scents around. They both nodded at Jacob and took off into the woods, the sound of splitting seams echoing lightly into the clearing. After a moment, two more took off. We waited, listening to their footsteps disappear. Then Jacob turned to Emily and Billy, who hung his head out of the window.

“See you on the other side guys, be safe,” Jacob nodded to them.

The truck started up, as did Emily’s car, and in unison they both started to drive away, leaving only Jacob and a few other boys standing in the clearing, watching their mates drive away.

Billy drove faster than the previous night, hitting the potholes and bumps in the road. Sam’s body twisted and jumped in the bed and I struggled to hold into his shoulders, trying to keep him as steady as possible. The other girls in the bed held onto each other, their eyes focused on anything but Sam or the surroundings. In the beginning they had all seemed so calm and collected, but now they were just as scared as I was, clinging desperately to the other.

The sun was dropping fast and the little bit of daylight that split through the trees was starting to disappear. Billy’s headlights illuminated the uneven road that twisted through the trees, the truck whipping around the corners so fast that I couldn’t even stop my own body from sliding around. I clutched onto Sam as if he were some kind of weight in all of this, like he was the only one that could make everything okay. If he weren’t here, I feel like I would have floated away.

Emily’s car followed close behind, the engine groaning with old age as she willed it faster and faster. I could only imagine how she felt, trying to be so calm when her mate was in such a condition, seeming barely alive. I wanted to let her know that I would protect him, here, even if it was just for this ride, but I wanted her to know that I was here. I clutched onto him tighter.

The back end of the truck fishtailed suddenly as we broke out of the trees, but Billy quickly regained control of the vehicle and sped towards the homes that spotted the land. We were almost there, almost among the people who were supposed to protect us. I had my doubts about their abilities, but for Jacob’s sake, I tried to keep them at bay. The sun was almost below the horizon, bleeding red light out onto the landscape. I hoped it wasn’t a bad omen.

Billy drove onto a patch of grass and stopped and as I dragged my gaze from the bloody sun, I noticed the large group of people waiting for us. Immediately, they began to open the tailgate and start to help out the other girls. And then a pair of older men came in to grab Sam. My grip was still tight on him and I had to be asked by one of the men to let go. It took me a moment but I pried my fingers away and let them take him away, carrying him like a corpse into the adjacent house. Emily stood at the edge of the truck, smiling a soft smile, and held an outstretched hand to me.

“Come on, let’s get you out of this bed,” she said kindly.

I stood up with some difficulty, my legs shaking as I wobbled over to the edge. With a surprising strength, she helped me down and with an arm around my shoulders, led me over to the group where Billy was briefing them.

“We’re to hold the fort down until we know he’s been killed,” Billy explained.

“How will we know?” another asked.

“They’ll send word. For now, we wait here. And we shoot at anything that moves.”

“Will we have enough ammo?”

An old man, much older than Billy, gave a small laugh, “We have enough. In the attic. In the basement.”

“Ken, Mike – go retrieve the silver and bring them back here. This’ll be where we make our stand.”

I tried my best to listen to them, but the way they spoke made me grow less and less confident in their abilities. I wanted to believe them, to believe Jacob, but how could I? I began to wrap myself up in my worry once more that I hadn’t notice their talk abruptly stop and everyone turned their attention to the station wagon that sped up the dirt road to where we congregated. By the time the car stopped, I was brought back when the car door slammed and I heard a voice that sent my heart to my stomach.

“Where is she? Huh? I know she’s here!”

Billy rolled his chair forward, approaching the guest, “Denise, I don’t think it’s such a good idea for you to be here.”

“Not a good idea? My daughter goes missing all because of your son! I think it’s a damn well good idea for me to be here!” I heard my mother fume. “Now where is she, Billy, or I’ll tear this whole reservation down looking for her.”

“Denise, I know you’re angry but there’s a good reason-“

“No there isn’t! I told him to stay away from her!”

“Denise-“

“Don’t Billy! I want my daughter back now!”

Tentatively, I stepped forward out of Emily’s embrace, through the crowd towards where my mother and Billy were gathered. I had never seen her look so infuriated that I almost couldn’t find my voice when she noticed my approach.

“You are in a load of trouble, young lady!” she roared, stomping over and taking a hold of my arm roughly.

“Denise, now just you wait,” Billy tried again.

“Mom, that hurts,” I pulled against her, her fingers digging into my arm. “Stop.”

“Well talk about this when we get home,” she ignored me.

“Mom, no,” I said a bit louder, tugging against her.

“Kayla, don’t fight me.”

“Mom, I said no. I’m not going anywhere.”

She stopped pulling and looked at me, shocked at the tone of my voice; a voice she didn’t recognize.

“Excuse me?”

“I said I’m not going home with you. I’m staying right here, where I belong.”

She glanced over at Billy, but quickly returned her gaze to me, “No you don’t, you belong at home with me.”

I shook my head, “No, I don’t.”

“Kayla?” she looked at me strangely, that look of betrayal in her eyes that I had seen before.

“Denise, this isn’t a good time for you to be here. It isn’t safe. It-“ Billy stopped himself short, looking past my mother into the surrounding trees.

“Its as safe as its every going to be,” she snapped at him. “Now Kay-“

The men behind us raised their rifles and shotguns, startling my mother. She stared at them in shock, her mouth hanging open. Billy started to roll himself backwards, staring still at the same spot. He put a hand on my mother’s arm, the one that grabbed mine, and looked at her.

“Denise, now’s just not the time. Please do me this favour and get inside.”

“And why should I?” her tone was less powerful.

“Just do it.” He turned to the rest of the group. “Girls, inside please. And remember guys, aim for the eyes, the neck and the soft spots on the thighs.”

The group of girls started to run into the house, but my mother looked so confused that I had to grab a hold of her and start to drag her away. I looked past her just in time to see a body of a giant wolf slink out of the trees and leap towards our position.

“Mom…”

I began to pull her, backing away. She looked at me curiously but saw my gaze wasn’t directed at her. She followed my line of sight until she saw the almost airborne wolf, her eyes and mouth opening so wide her eyes may have just fallen out.

“Mom, move!”