Behind This Smile

Gerard's POV

I don't know why I hit her. I didn't mean to. I just don't know what happened. She was actually trying to make small talk with me and I knew she meant it when she said she was sorry. I don't know why I lashed out. All I know is that I felt horrible, and she's probably not going to apologize to me again. I sighed and leaned my head against the lockers, pulled one knee to my chest and let one lay out straight. I knew there was only going to be about five more minutes until the lunch bell rang, and I stood up.

I stretched my arms above my head. I started walking towards my next class which was art. The door wasn't open, which surprised me. It's usually always open. I sighed dramatically and glanced at the clock. Lunch would be over in two minutes. I tapped my foot impatiently. I wanted to draw. I felt like there wasn't any boundaries in art. Art was my passion. Without it, I'd be no where in life.

Mrs. Johnson walked fast to the door. She smiled at me and opened the door. "Hello, Gerard," she chimed. I followed her in and sat down where I usually sit. I glanced around the familiar room and I could feel Mrs. Johnson smiling at me. "You seem distant, Gerard," she stated.

I shook my head. "Nah, just tired." She nodded and looked around her desk until she made an 'O' with her mouth.

"I think my car keys are in the teachers' lounge," she muttered to herself. Mrs. Johnson was a little ditzy sometimes. I laughed as she left the room. I looked at the other artwork from other seniors, and soon felt another pair of eyes staring at me. I glanced at the door and saw Mikey. He wasn't glaring, but he obviously wasn't happy. He walked over to me and pushed his glasses up his nose.

"Mikey, you don't have to yell," I sighed.

He shook his head. "I'm not. In fact, it pains me talking to you right now. When are you going to see that she really is nice? She doesn't have to be blond to show you that." He said it so calmly, it almost made me insane. He didn't raise his voice once, he didn't yell at me for hitting her, he just said that and walked away. I sighed. Life did fuck you hard, and I was noticing that now, and Sydri has probably been through that most of her life. I felt like a dick.

I sank down in my chair as everyone started filing in. Mrs. Johnson was right behind everyone and she smiled at me and showed me her car keys. I'm guessing they were in the teachers' lounge. She sat down in her desk and smiled to everyone. She was probably the most optimistic teacher ever. "Okay, guys. You know what to do."

--

My dad usually picked me up from school. But not today he didn't. My mom sat behind the wheel and smiled when I opened the car door. "Hey, Mom," I greeted. She smiled once more and she made sure I was buckled in and everything before driving off. She waved to Mikey as she passed him and Sydri, and he waved back. Sydri's hair covered her face to where you could barely even see it. I don't know why she always stared at the ground. It didn't seem that interesting. "Who does Mikey walk with every day? She seems so insecure." My mom asked while at a red light.

"Um, Sydri," I answered. My mom raised her eyebrows.

"Sydri? Her real name is Sydri?" I didn't know, but I nodded. I supposed so. "That is such a beautiful name. So unique. Is she always like that?"

"Like what?" That was a stupid question. I knew what she meant.

"Is she always so... never looks up from the ground?"

I nodded. "Yeah. She's not much of a talker." Mom nodded, too. She didn't seem like much of a talker, yet she talked to me today. And I still felt like a dick.