Behind This Smile

Gerard POV

I thought I did a pretty good job during counseling. I didn’t tell her anything that she didn’t already know. Although, I do want to tell her so bad. But I just can’t. I can’t bring myself to tell her.

Her dad’s going to have to soon. Sydri told me that her dad was always at Wal-Mart. I knew, though, that it wasn’t Wal-Mart where her dad was. It was the hospital. And from what I’ve been told, he’s never home. So something big is going to happen soon.

Mom picked me up again. She’s never mentioned Sydri’s dad’s cancer around us. The day we had Sydri’s family over for dinner, that’s pretty much all they talked about. She felt bad about Sydri not knowing, too. But Mom was always good at keeping secrets.

“You want to drive Syd home again, Gee?” she asked.

I laughed. “It’s your car, Mom.”

She smiled and slowed the car down to a stop and I rolled my window down. Before I could say anything, Mikey turned around and nodded yes. I rolled my eyes and rolled my window back up.

Once they both got in, Mom started driving.

“Y’know, Sydri, we could always pick you up from school,” Mom said. “Heck, we can take you to school, too.” She slightly furrowed her eyebrows. “Maybe I’ll let Gerard start driving.”

“Can Gerard drive?” Sydri asked.

I laughed. “Yes. Mom just won’t let me.”

She chuckled. “Well, now I will. I don’t have anywhere to be.” She nodded and smiled. “Yeah. I think we can do that.”

Mikey sighed. “The question is, can Gerard do that?”

Stupid Mikey.

“Yes, I can do that.” Now the tension increases.

“Well, what if Gerard doesn’t tell a certain someone something they really need to know?”

Mom stiffened. She knew what this was about. “Mikey,” she warned.

“Like the fact that someone’s d-”

“Mikey, dammit, shut up!” Mom yelled while hitting her palm on the steering wheel.

The whole car got silent. Mikey was glaring and Sydri looked scared, almost. Mom was gripping the wheel so that her knuckles were really, really white. The tension that was filling up the car made it almost hard to breathe.

“Okay, Sydri,” Mom whispered.

She mumbled a thank you and quickly got out of the car. She fast-walked to her house door and quickly got in and shut the door.

We started to drive off. Mom still had her tight grip on the steering wheel. “Mom,” I said calmly. “Can you loosen your grip just a little bit? I don’t really want to get in a wreck.”

She sighed. But let her grip loosen just the slightest bit.

“Mikey,” she said, her voice anything but happy. “I want to talk to you once we get home.” Mikey sighed a whatever which made Mom tighten her grip even more on the steering wheel.

“Mom.” She rolled her eyes, loosening her grip again.

Soon, we got to our house. I was glad to get out of the car. I felt like I could breathe again. I walked into the house and sat down on the couch. Mom came in with Mikey right behind her.

She slammed the door and looked Mikey’s glare right in the eye.

“Who the hell do you think you are?”

Mikey looked away. I, honestly, was really confused. Mikey doesn’t act like this. Mikey has always been the good kid. He rarely ever got in trouble. This was new. Mom, too. She was usually calm and collected. But I guess this was different.

“Answer me, Michael James Way.”

Mom means business when she uses our full names.

“She needs to know, Mom!”

“Not by you, Mikey!”

See? How right was I?

“What is she going to do when her dad is dead? What is she going to do when she realizes that we all knew? How do you think she’s going to react to that? She’s not going to be happy, let me tell you that.”

“Mikey, it’s not our business. This is what her dad wants.”

“Well, her dad’s stupid.”

That he is.

Mom sighed. “Mikey, you’re not going to tell her anything, okay?”

Mikey rolled his eyes.

“Mikey.”

“Fine. Fine, whatever. But don’t blame me if Sydri never talks to us again.”