Behind This Smile

I was basically living at the Ways' house. All of my clothes were in the guest room, posters were hung up on the walls and I brought my own bed sheets and switched them.

Nobody said anything about anything. Not about my dad, my bad grades, nothing. It gave me a sense of relief, honestly. I didn't want to talk about it and nobody made me.

With only about a month left of school, I wasn't sure I could make it. Graduating, I mean. All of my teachers didn't harass me about it too much. In fact, they take it way too easy on me. 'Oh, since you're emotionally unstable right now, I'll give you an extra day'. It doesn't make a difference.

It probably never will.

--

"I'm just saying I think this'll be good for you," Mr. W was saying to me. "You don't have to talk about... recent events, you should just... talk."

"Talk about what, Mr. W? The fact that everytime I go to sleep I see rainbows and unicorns?" I said sarcastically. "Is that what you want me to talk about?"

"Gerard agreed to it."

"I don't want to do counseling with him again. In fact, I never needed it in the first place. I just... Please."

Mr. Warlock smiled and shook his head. "You know the drill. Today. At lunch."

--

"I haven't told you this, but I found an art school in New York I want to go to," Gerard muttered, trying to start conversation.

Usually I would've smiled and told him that's great and I hope he gets accepted, but instead I shrugged.

Gerard tried to smile but failed as the corner of his lips turned into a frown. "Your enthusiasm makes me weak at the knees, Sydri." He rolled his eyes.

I didn't crack a smile.

Gerard glared at me and leaned forward. His nose was almost touching my nose. "Do you want me to tell you that everything's going to be okay? Do you want me to tell you he's coming back?" he said dangerously low. "Because I will. I will flat out lie to you... If that's what you want of course."

Soon, tears blurred my vision and I slightly shook my head. Gerard's glare softened. "Then say something, Syd."

But I couldn't. Gerard was pretty fucking close to me and the intoxicating smell of coffee and cigarettes was hitting my nose and I was speechless. I moved some stray bangs out of my eyes and swallowed.

Gerard started to lean in farther and I noticed him glance at my lips. My heartbeat began to speed up as I leaned in, too. His lips soon connected with mine and I quickly pulled away. Embarrassed, I got out of my chair and ran out of the room.