Heartaches Grow a Little Bit Stronger

Laughing softly, I reached up and brushed my hair aside before I handed the appropriate amount of change to the girls who had just bought a couple of t-shirts.

"You two stay outta trouble now," I grinned, "and good luck with tracking down those boys of ATL."

"Thanks." They laughed, "you wouldn't have seen them running around anywhere, have you?"

"Nope, can't say that I have." I replied. "Usually they come around and bug me before lunch time, but I think they might have had to play an earlier set today."

"Alright." One of them said, "hope you have fun during the rest of Warped."

"Bye guys." I said, flashing them one last smile as I waved them off.

Watching them walk away, I couldn't help but laugh to myself as I thought about their crazy stories they had just shared with me. Still giggling, I turned around and went to straighten out the shirts that had been scattered about when I was looking for the right size.

"I haven't seen you light up like that for a while now." A voice muttered from beside me, causing me to jump slightly.

Clutching a shirt and a hand to my chest just over my heart as if to slow it down, I whipped my head to the side and saw Caleb standing there with his hip resting against the table while his arms were crossed in front of his chest. After a deep breath to calm myself down, and a faint spell of blushing of my cheeks, I managed to turn my eyes from Caleb's, and focused on the shirt in my hand.

"I guess I've just been sidetracked by other things this past week or so." I mumbled.

"You've been avoiding me." Caleb pointed out.

"Not avoiding you." I said quietly. "I've just been ... it has nothing to do with what you said to me, it's just that I'm upset with myself about how I've treated you. I feel like crap about it, and it's easier for me to cope with it if I keep myself away from you."

Caleb sighed quietly, and out of the corner of my eye I saw him straighten up and walk over to me. Gently placing a hand on my hip, he turned me around until I was facing him. My eyes, however, were still lowered from his, focused on anything and everything but his brown stare.

"Alyssa, I don't hate you for choosing to stay with Kyle," he whispered, "I could never hate you. I still want us to be friends though, but it's hard to do that when you won't talk to me, or even look at me."

Feeling his free hand on my cheek, I bit my lip, now more determined than ever to keep myself from locking my eyes with Caleb.

"Fine," he mumbled, "if you're not going to look at me, will you at least look at Kyle?" He whispered. "I don't care if he and I don't agree about what he's doing, he's still my friend, Alyssa. He told me about the fight you two had the other day, and how you walked away from him."

"I needed some time to myself." I insisted.

"You've barely spoken two words to him since, Alyssa." Caleb sighed. He paused for a few seconds before he added. "He actually cried the other night," he mumbled, "because he wanted to take you out to dinner, but you wouldn't even acknowledge him. I know it seems weird to be helping him after I tried my hardest to fight for you, but Kyle's my friend ... I want him to be happy."

"The more time I spend with Kyle, the harder it is for me deal with the fact that we're running around behind Madison's back." I mumbled. "It's just ... everything's so secretive when we're together, and no matter where we go I'm reminded that what we're doing is not right. I love Kyle, but when I'm with him ... its just hard."

"So because it's hard, you choose to just ignore him?" Caleb questioned. "Alyssa, if you keep ignoring him, he's going to start to think that you don't want to wait for him. He already thinks you're starting to hate him because he's waiting to break up with Alyssa at the end of tour; you're just adding to it by not talking to him."

Not knowing what to say, I kept my mouth shut, and my eyes on the front of Caleb's shirt.

"Alyssa, you're a stubborn bitch, you know that?" Caleb grumbled. When I still didn't respond, Caleb sighed heavily and then leaned over, pressing his lips to my forehead briefly, and then pulled away, caressing my cheek gently with his fingertips. "Kyle loves you," he said, "but right now he doesn't think you feel the same way about him anymore. You need to remind him that you do."

With that, Caleb pulled away from me altogether, and made his way out of the booth, leaving me alone once again. Taking a deep breath, I let it out in a somewhat miserable sigh, knowing that Caleb was right. I had been avoiding both him and Kyle, because I was too much of a sissy to cope with the guilt I felt whenever I saw them. I felt guilty for turning down Caleb, and I felt guilty about running around behind Madison's back with Kyle.

Shaking my head as if to shake away my thoughts, I finished folding the t-shirt I was holding and set it back inside the merch bin.

"Alyssa Jane," a voice called behind me, "you missed our set this morning. I even dedicated a song to you, like I said I would, but you weren't there." The voice pouted.

Recognizing the voice, I turned around and saw my friend Alex Gaskarth scooting past the table and into the booth. Just behind him was Kyle. Quickly, I turned my gaze back to Alex and gave him a teasing smile.

"You didn't text me back and tell me what time you guys were playing this morning." I said. "So instead, I spent the morning talking with some fans of yours. They're off in search of you right now, as a matter of fact."

"Alyssa, I didn't even know what time we were playing this morning until we were actually up there on the stage." Alex sighed.

"Well then, you can't blame me for now showing up." I laughed.

Alex wrinkled up his nose, and then gave me a cute smile before he laughed as well. "Yeah, well, I just wanted to stop by and tell you that you missed out." He grinned.

"Jerk," I laughed, "tomorrow call me just before you go on so I can watch you guys."

Alex thought to himself for a few seconds and then finally nodded his head. "I suppose I can do that." He teased. "But, I gotta get going, we're supposed to be signing at our booth."

"Alright, see you later, Alex."

"Bye Alyssa," he said, "later Kyle."

Kyle muttered a faint 'bye' as Alex left before he turned his blue gaze up to me. His stare lingered on me momentarily before he looked away. Remembering what Caleb said, I sighed quietly and then slowly walked over to take a seat beside where Kyle was sitting on the table. Silently, I reached over and gently laced my fingers through his. Kyle hesitated before he tightened his hand around mine, squeezing it tightly.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. "It's just ... every time we're together, we have to work hard at keeping it such a secret. I just ... want us to go somewhere where we can be alone, and not have to worry about anybody seeing us. It's hard, though, to do that while we're on tour."

"We have tomorrow off." He mumbled. "And we're getting a hotel suite tonight. The guys are probably going to go out and do something; let's go out to dinner instead. Just me and you, we can finally have some alone time."

"I wanna make love to you." I said quietly. "We haven't got to make love to each other yet."

"We can tonight, if we make it back from dinner early enough."

"Yeah?"

Kyle nodded his head and then stood up, walking around to the front of me. With his free hand, he placed a hand on my knee and gently urged my legs apart so that he could rest himself between them. My nerves jumping slightly, I let Kyle bring my arm up, wrapping it around his shoulders; the other was soon to follow.

"I love you," he whispered as he wrapped his arms around my waist, holding my body close to his. "I don't care anymore if anybody else finds out about us, I love you."

"I love you too," I whispered back.

Kyle sighed softly before he pulled away from me slightly, and then pressed his lips to mine. After a few seconds, he pulled away, and then kissed my cheek. "I'll find us a nice restaurant for us to have dinner at tonight, and then make us some reservations." He mumbled against my skin.

"Okay." I replied.

Kyle kissed my cheek once more before he pulled away from me altogether. Squeezing my hand tightly, he gave me a soft smile and explained, "We're up next; I gotta get over there before they start looking for me."

"Good luck." I mumbled before he turned and walked away from me.

Watching him walk away, I couldn't help but smile to myself as I thought about tonight.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Holding tightly to Kyle's hand, I giggled quietly as he tried to balance my box of leftover steak on top of his head.

"Kyle," I grinned, tugging on his hand, "if you drop my food, I'm gonna be mad at you."

"Whatever," he laughed, but removed the box from his head nonetheless.

Suppressing a smile, I rolled my eyes slightly and let him led the way to our suite. Once we were in front of our door, he released my hand and reached into his pocket to pull out his key card. Quickly sliding it into the slot, he opened the door as soon as the light turned green and ushered me inside.

The suite was silent, indicating that the rest of the guys were still out at the movies.

"I'm gonna call Jonathan, and ask him what time they think they're gonna be back." Kyle said as he set my box on the counter top, and then pulled out his cell phone.

I nodded my head, and then went into my room to change out of my summer dress, and into a pair of board shorts and a tank top. When I went back into the living room, I saw that Kyle was now sitting on the couch, holding the remote in his hand as he flipped through the channels on the television. When he saw that I had returned, he looked up at me, studying me momentarily before setting the remote aside and giving me a weird look.

"Why'd you change?" He asked as he reached up, taking my hand in his. "You're gonna be outta those clothes pretty soon anyway." He added with a sly smile. "Jonathan said that they're gonna watch another movie, but it doesn't start for another hour," he mumbled before he caught me in a quick kiss, "we have at least three hours."

Thinking to myself, I gave Kyle a shy smile before I lowered myself down onto his lap and then started placing some small, teasing kisses along his jaw line. "I decided to change, because I wanted to make you work harder at getting my clothes off." I grinned. "That dress was too easy for you."

"What's this?" He asked, a sound of fake shock in his voice, "after all this time, we're finally going to get to go down, and you're teasing me? I'm just going to have my way with you if you keep this up."

"Shut up, Burns." I mumbled before I pressed my lips to his.

Kyle didn't protest anymore, and let me take control of our make out session. After a few minutes, though, he broke the kiss, letting his lips wander down to my collarbone, gently biting here and there whenever he saw fit.

"Are you still on birth control?" He muttered. "Or do we need a condom?"

"I get Depo shots." I replied quietly. "We're good."

Kyle nodding his head slightly, and then leaned over, kissing me again. With that, he picked me up with ease and then packed me off to my room.

Hopefully three hours was going to be long enough for us. If not, it was going to be a bit awkward explaining to the guys what was going on.