Heartaches Grow a Little Bit Stronger

As we waited for the doctor to arrive, I watched as Alyssa twirled restlessly around on the small stool that the doctors usually sat on. A smile pulling across my lips, I reached over and grabbed her hand, holding it tightly to stop her from her motions.

"You're worse than a little kid." I grinned when she turned her bright green eyes up to me, giving me a questioning look.

"Well, we've been here forever." She sighed. "And plus I'm hungry. After this, let's stop and get some thing to eat."

I nodded my head. "Okay." I said, and then tugged on her hand, making her stand up before I pulled her down onto my lap and hugged her tightly. "What do you want to eat?"

"I want to go to the Cheesecake Factory, and get some chocolate cheesecake." She insisted.

"You just want a slice of chocolate cheesecake?" I asked quizzically. "That's not a meal."

"I want a whole chocolate cheesecake, not just a slice." She clarified.

"Allie J, you need real food." I said, rolling my eyes but suppressing a smile nonetheless.

"Cheesecake is real food." She said defensively.

"Smart ass." I smirked. "Pick another place to eat, one where we can get an actual meal, and then on the way home we'll stop and get your chocolate cheesecake."

Wrapping an arm around my shoulders, Alyssa made a cute face as she thought to herself. "How about we stop at Applebee's for some mashed potatoes and grilled shrimp?" She asked. "Doesn't that sound good?"

I nodded my head in agreement and then reached up, kissing her lips softly before I pulled away. "That's fine."

A bright smile crossed her lips and then she wrapped her other arm around me, hugging me to her. Smiling, I let my hands slowly wander up and down her back comfortingly before I started to hum a nameless tune to her. Even though there was no particular pattern to the tune, Alyssa found it entertaining as she giggled softly and then began to rock us back and forth slowly on the seat as if we were dancing.

"When we get home," she said, "I'm gonna teach you the waltz."

"Alyssa, I unfortunately already know how to waltz." I grinned.

"I know," she said, "but honestly, you're not any good at it."

"Can you blame me?" I asked. "It's the lamest fucking dance ever."

Alyssa pulled away and frowned softly at me. "Well then, how about the cha cha? Or salsa?" She questioned. "How are your skills in those departments, Burns?"

"Less than zero experience." I admitted. "You can teach me whichever requires the least amount of work."

"You're a lazy bitch, Burns." My girlfriend teased before she leaned over, and kissed my lips gently. "I love you."

I smiled softly, and reached up, running my fingers through her hair. "I love you too, sweetheart."

Alyssa giggled cutely once again, and kissed my forehead before she stood up, and strode across the room, taking a seat on the examination bench just as the doctor walked in, almost as if she knew they were on their way.

"Hello, Alyssa" the doctor greeted my girlfriend with a warm smile, "how are you doing today?"

"Apart from the fact that I'm starving, I'm great." Alyssa replied. "Dr. Stokes, this is my boyfriend, Kyle." She said, motioning to me.

"Hi Kyle," Dr. Stokes said, turning his gaze to me. "Alyssa said that you weren't able to join us last time because you were on tour with your band?"

I nodded my head. "Yeah, we were on a two and a half month tour, but we have a nice long break now." I said.

"That's good." He smiled. "Alyssa's gonna need you to run back and forth to the store for her here pretty soon." He joked.

"Tell me about it." I laughed. "She's already wanting to stop at the Cheesecake Factory to get a whole cheesecake for herself."

The doctor laughed quietly and nodded his head. Across the way, Alyssa blushed softly as she muttered an excuse under her breath. Seeing this, Dr. Stokes smiled and asked, "so besides the craving for cheesecake, anything new, Alyssa?"

"Well, with my body, no, nothing new really." She said. "But, as a side note, Kyle and I had just gotten back from San Diego. We went to Sea World and I got kissed by a seal." She grinned.

"Yeah?" Dr. Stokes asked. "How long were you two over there?"

Alyssa held up two fingers. "Two weeks. Kyle's aunt has a beach house over there that we stayed in."

"Sounds like it was quite a vacation." Dr. Stokes commented.

Alyssa nodded her head, and then from there on in, the official check up got underway, and the two began discussing different things along the lines of Alyssa's health, and the baby's health. Their conversation was filled with tons of medical jargon, and it was hard for me to keep up with what they were saying, so instead I just focused on my girlfriend, taking in all the sights of her appearance.

The two weeks we had spent in San Diego had helped us out a lot. One month ago when I had come home from tour, I was a mess, and it was because of that our relationship was falling apart. I don't know what was going through my head, but I just felt so confused and overwhelmed by what was happening. I guess I had anxiety that had been building up over the course of the tour, and when Caleb told me that Alyssa was pregnant, all sorts of emotions were running through me.

I was happy that we were going to have a baby, scared that I was going to be a dad, upset that Alyssa had told Caleb before she told me, pissed at myself for ignoring all her calls ... I was overwhelmed, and it seemed that all at once, all my emotions combined and was released as anger. I didn't know if I was ever going to be able to make up for the way I blew up at Alyssa, but she somehow found it in herself to forgive me.

I know that Caleb has something to do with it. I don't know what they talked about, or what he told her, but I know that it's because of him Alyssa decided to give me another chance.

And now, we're back to ourselves, happy and content with one another, the way we were at the very beginning. Her promise ring is back on her finger, and whenever she catches a stranger eyeing it, she unknowingly flaunts it, making the diamonds sparkle at anyone who looked at it. The only thing that's different is the fact that Alyssa is now three months pregnant. Of course she isn't showing yet, but if you know her, you can tell by the little things she does that something is up.

The check up went by quickly, and by the time we left, Alyssa held tightly to an envelope that held a copy of her ultrasound, while her other hand held tightly to mine. During the short walk to the car, Alyssa released my hand, and wrapped her slender arm around my middle, hugging me as best she could while we still walked.

"Burns, I've decided that as soon as we get home, we're going to get online and start looking up different ideas for a nursery." She said.

"A nursery?" I questioned. "Which room is going to be the nursery?"

"The computer room." She insisted. "We're moving all that stuff out to the living room, and setting it up at that blank spot by the couch."

"Babe, not all that stuff is going to fit there." I sighed. "Maybe," I paused slightly, licking my lips, "maybe we should start looking at a different apartment? One with more rooms. Or, if you want, maybe we can even find us a good realtor and start looking at houses ... but ... only if you want."

When Alyssa didn't answer, I glanced down, only to find her with a shy smile on her face. "You want to buy me a house, babe?" She asked softly.

Smiling in return, I nodded my head. "Yes." I admitted. "If we're going to start a family, we might as well find a big place to raise all the kids."

Alyssa grinned, and then glanced down at the envelope in her hand. "I want lots of kids, Kyle. At least four."

"Four kids?" I asked slowly. "You don't ... want them all at once, do you?"

"No," she said, shaking her head. "We'll start with this one, and then we'll see how it goes. But eventually, I want four kids."

"Why four?" I asked.

"Well, because if you have three kids, usually two of them gang up, and the third one feels left out." She said simply.

"Well, like you said, we'll see how it goes." I sighed softly. Not wanting to psych myself out about the number of kids I could possibly conceive with Alyssa, I decided to change the subject. "So ... the nursery." I said. "What color were you thinking?"

Alyssa, who had been quietly thinking to herself, looked up to me once again, her eyes bright with excitement. "I was thinking like a warm cream color. I don't want to do those pastel colors, I want something warm, something that's comforting but doesn't scream baby room."

With that, Alyssa started to ramble on about other colors she had in mind as well, and her reasons as to why she thought they would or wouldn't work for the room. Not having a chance to comment about anything, I simply smiled and nodded my head, going along with everything. These next few months were going to be interesting, and rough, but it'll be worth it.