Heartaches Grow a Little Bit Stronger

"Kyle, look at these." Alyssa said excitedly as she held up a pair of brown, white, and turquoise colored Etnies. "Aren't they fucking bad?"

"Allie J, you don't need any more shoes." I said sternly. "Look," I added, holding up the four boxes of shoes I was already carrying for her, "you've got plenty."

"I need some more skateboarding shoes though." She said, motioning to the Zumiez employee that she wanted to try on those shoes as well.

"All these shoes are skateboarding shoes, Alyssa." I pointed out. "We're in Zumiez."

"Those are my casual skateboarding shoes." Alyssa replied, her eyes focused on the guy who brought another box of shoes to her to try on. "They're for looks, but not for actual skating."

I rolled my eyes slightly and laughed softly as I shook my head. "Yeah, okay, whatever."

I watched as the guy handed Alyssa the box and then gave her a flirty smile before he said that he'd be right back and then walked away to greet another customer who just walked in. Alyssa's light green eyes followed him across the store, and I frowned slightly as the jealously washed over me. I cleared my throat, gaining Alyssa's attention once again.

"Raping him with your eyes, yeah?" I asked.

Alyssa stuck her tongue out at me as she took a seat on the couch, and then laughed as she patted the cushion beside her, motioning for me to sit down too. Setting the shoes boxes down on the floor, I sat down and watched her lace up a shoe. When she was done lacing it up, she slipped it onto her foot and stood up, seeing how it felt.

She nodded her head to herself as if in approval. "Comfy." Was all she said before she turned to me. "What do you think?" She asked. "Am I lookin' pretty fly or what?"

I looked down at her shoe and nodded my head. "They actually do look pretty bad ass." I admitted. "But that's the last pair you're getting today, okay?"

"Fine." She sighed before she kicked the shoe off, and slipped her foot into her old shoe.

She put the shoe back into the box, and set the box on top of the pile I had set beside the couch. I eyed the pile with a raised eyebrow, but chose not to say anything. Alyssa has worked as a tutor and private interpreter through the past years, and starting this fall she will be teaching sign language at the university; the girl has a few extra bucks to spend.

"You know, I don't know if all your shit can fit in my car, Alyssa." I sighed as I picked up her shoe boxes and carried them to the counter for her.

She glanced over her shoulder and frowned at me. "Why not?"

"Because I have my drums in the trunk, plus the bags of clothes you already put in the front." I replied. "And then, we have our boards, your shoes, we have to squeeze in there, and manage to make enough room for your new flat screen TV you're so insistent on getting."

"We can fit my shoes in your trunk ... somehow." She said. "I mean, it's just your drums, it's not like you have all your hardware and stuff too."

"Well ... " I trailed off, shaking my head. I knew that I wasn't going to win this argument, so I wasn't even going to make an attempt. "Hurry up and lets go pick out your new deck and stuff."

I followed Alyssa as she made the way toward the back where all the skateboard gear was. We came to a stop in front of their decks and had just began looking through all of them when the guy from earlier decided to join us once again.

"One of you looking to get a board?" He asked, glancing at me and then to Alyssa.

"Yeah," Alyssa replied, "my deck is fucked, so I'm getting a completely new set up."

"Right on," he said, nodding his head, "are you looking for a wider board? Or just a regular sized one?"

"I think I'm gonna stick with a regular sized one; I feel awkward on the wider ones." She grinned.

The guy returned a smile and then stepped in front of me, bringing himself closer to Alyssa. Once more I felt the jealousy race through my veins, even though I had no right to be jealous; I had a fiancé who I was supposed to be devoting all of my time to. I bit my cheek and forced my attention else where while Alyssa and the guy, whose name was apparently Ricky, struck up a conversation about the different graphics she had to choose from.

Sighing softly, I decided to wander around the rest of the store, doing a little shopping for myself. About fifteen minutes later, after I had picked out some shirts and a couple pairs of shorts, Alyssa had finally decided on which deck she wanted and was now grabbing some wheels for it.

"I'll go ahead and ring you up," Ricky said, "and then put it all together for you."

"Alright, thanks." Alyssa replied before she turned her eyes to me. She glanced down at the clothes I had in my arms and then looked back up to me, raising an eyebrow. "Some new clothes for tour?" She asked.

I nodded my head. "Yup."

"I'll get them."

"Alyssa Jane," I sighed. "I got them."

"No, I'm on a spending craze. I'll get them." She insisted. "You can think of them as an early birthday present if you want."

"Fine," I sighed as I set them on the counter next to her shoes that Ricky was ringing up.

Ricky glanced at the clothes, over to Alyssa, and then up at me.

I held my hands up in defense and then shook my head. "She's on a 'spending craze'." I said.

Ricky raised an eyebrow, and I shrugged my shoulders, causing him to laugh slightly before he scanned the tags on my clothes. He told Alyssa the total and started to bag her things as she pulled out her credit card, sliding it through before she signed the pad. While her receipt printed out, Alyssa glanced up at me, giving me a sweet smile.

"This is going to be my third trip out to my car," I sighed, already know what she wanted me to do.

"It'll be the last trip." She replied. "I'll be out as soon as my board is done."

"Alyssa," I sighed, but I gathered her bags all the same.

"Thank you," she said sweetly.

"Mhmm." Was all I said as I made my way out of the store. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Ricky watching me as I walked away. Turning my head so they didn't see, I scowled to myself and exited the store.

At my car, I popped the trunk and carefully rearranged everything so that I could fit Alyssa's shoes and my clothes inside. It was time consuming, tedious work, and by the time I had managed to fit everything together, I saw Alyssa skating across the parking lot, holding onto two ice cream cones.

Once she got beside my car, she hopped off her board and stopped it with her foot before she walked over to me, licking her ice cream cone while handing me mine.

"They were calling to me as I walked through the food court." She grinned.

"Alyssa Jane," I said softly as I took the cone from her.

"You've been calling me that a lot lately." She said. "You usually only call me that when I'm pissing you off." She frowned.

"Or when you're being a goof." I said. "Or unreasonable." I added as an afterthought.

"Whatever," she mumbled before she bent over and picked up her board, showing it to me. "You like?"

I nodded my head as I examined it. "So did you get Ricky's number or what?"

At my words, Alyssa's cheeks flushed a light shade of red. "Maybe." She admitted. "He asked if I wanted to go to dinner sometime, but I told him that I had just gotten done with," she hesitated, shrugging her shoulders as if to shrug it off in a nonchalant way, "you know, a relationship."

Though I wanted her to see her happy once again with someone, I felt a sick satisfaction, knowing that she wasn't going out with Ricky any time soon.

Not really knowing what to say in response, I closed my trunk and leaned against it, taking a bite of my ice cream. We ate in silence, either one of us off in our own thoughts. Alyssa finished before I did and was riding around the parking lot, doing a few tricks off of the curbs.

The more I watched her, the more I wished I could go back in time and ask her to be my girlfriend before Mason had hooked up with her. Hell, I wished that I could go back to a time before that, to when we had took each others virginity when my family had been gone for the weekend. Back then, it had just been a best friend sort of thing. You know, losing your virginity to someone you cared about.

Looking back on it now, I was glad that she has the one I had lost my virginity to. I knew that no matter what, Alyssa would always care about me.

I finished eating my ice cream and then wiped my mouth before I grabbed my own board from the front. I hopped on it and made my way to where Alyssa was skating around a bunch of shopping carts. She skated by me and I reached out, grabbing her around her waist, causing her to laugh wildly as I lifted her off her board.

"Kyle, put me down." She laughed, kicking about her feet.

"Soon." I grinned as I threw her over my shoulder with ease, and skated off after her board.

"Kyle!" She giggled. "We're gonna fall, you're gonna drop me. Put me down."

"Shh," I replied, smacking her butt.

"Kyle Burns," she laughed, "stop it."

I slowed to a stop next to where her board had stopped and then set her back on her feet, but didn't remove my hands from her waist. To any one who saw us, it would look like we were standing there, a lovey couple making googly eyes to one another.

We weren't a lovey couple though, we probably never would be. I couldn't help but want us to be, though. I was aware of the fact that my fingers had found their way underneath her shirt and were brushing softly against her bare skin. This mere touch sent my heart beating at a rapid pace, and scrambled my thoughts inside my head.

I bit my lip as I looked down at her, and silently wished that she somehow, miraculously felt the same way about me. Staring into her green tinted eyes, I caught a sudden glint of light that I had never quite seen before.

"Come with us on Warped Tour this summer." I blurted out.

Alyssa stared blankly back at me for a few seconds before she tilted her head to the side a little, giving me a questioning look. "Warped Tour?" She asked. "You want me to go with you?"

I nodded my head. "Come with us." I repeated.

"But ... I was going to spend the summer with Tomas before he goes back to Gallaudet University." She said slowly. "And ... won't I just get in the way if I go with you?"

I shook my head. "Not if you take care of our merch." I said slyly. "You and Tomas can both help out."

"Well ... I don't know, Kyle, I'll have to think about it." She said hesitantly.

"Please, Alyssa?" I asked. "It'll be good for you to get out of Texas. Get out of the state and have some fun. It's summer time. Come on."

"I'll have to ask Tomas about it." She replied.

"Alyssa, if you want to go, I'm sure that Tomas will want to go too." I pointed out. "Please? Come with us. I want you to go with us." I said truthfully.

"You do?"

I nodded my head. "Yes, I do. I want you to go with us." I said. "And if you decide not to, then that's too bad because I'm going to bring you with us anyway."

Alyssa stared up at me, debating whether or not she wanted to go. Finally, after a minute or so, she nodded her head with a soft smile.

"Alright," she said, "I'll go."

I returned a smile and then lowered my hands from her hips. Alyssa stuck her tongue out at me, and then skated away, leaving me to wonder whether or not inviting her along on tour was actually the smartest thing to do.