Heartaches Grow a Little Bit Stronger

Come on, it'll be fun I signed to Tomas It's a perfect way to spend our summer vacation before I have to go to work, and before you have to go back to Gallaudet

Tomas frowned slightly and then shrugged his shoulders a little bit. I don't want to put up with the arrogant people who stop by the booth and then act like being deaf is some sort of disease was what he signed back.

I made a rude gesture with my hands in regards to the type of people my brother was referring to. Fuck those people. We'll hang out with the guys, pull some pranks, meet new people who aren't ignorant. You'll have some fun stories to tell your friends back in DC. I stopped signing for a second, pouting my lip slightly.

Tomas responded with a stern look, which softly second by second when I added the sad puppy dog look. He growled lowly and then crossed his arms in front of his chest.

Please brother? I've never been on tour with the guys before, but I'm not going to go if you don't want to go

My brother tilted his head to the side a bit, studying me for a few seconds, before he finally dropped his macho, big brother act, and then softened his expression back to the gentle, innocent look he usually had. You really want to go, don't you? he asked.

I nodded my head.

Why?

Thinking about my answer, I made a sad face and then sighed softly. I want to get out of Texas. I want to meet new people. I want to forget about all the bad things that's happened here lately. I want to go have fun and not worry about anything.

Any other reasons?

I already told Kyle that I would go with them. He really wants me to go, and I want to spend time with my best friend before he gets married. I answered truthfully.

Tomas' expression soon matched mine, You're afraid you're going to lose him after he gets married, aren't you?

Slowly, I nodded my head, I guess I'm just being a jealous bitch. Me and Kyle have been inseparable since we've moved here, remember? I know that it's not going to be like that once he gives Madison his last name.

I paused momentarily, my eyes catching on the picture of me and Kyle that had been taken when we had taken a road trip to Arizona to see the Grand Canyon. A sense of uneasiness kicked started in my stomach, and I suddenly felt like I was missing a big part of my life knowing that Kyle had someone else to devote all his time to.

I shook my head sadly, Kyle's my best friend; can you blame me for wanting to keep him to myself for a little while longer?

Sensing that I was close to another emotional breakdown, my brother reached over and took me into his arms, hugging me tightly. Tomas may be a Deaf mute, but he didn't have to say anything just then. The familiarity of his smell and touch was enough to calm and comfort me. After a couple of minutes of standing in each others arms, Tomas pulled away from me and kissed my forehead softly.

I'm going over to mom and dad's to start packing he signed we're leaving the day after tomorrow, right?

I nodded my head.

Okay, I'll get a hold of you later.

I love you

Love you, too

Tomas leaned over and kissed my forehead one last time before he grabbed his keys from the coffee table and made his way to the hallway. A few seconds later, I heard the front door open, and then close, indicating that Tomas had left.

Gazing at the spot I had last seen my brother, I took a deep breath and let it out slowly as I thought to myself for a few seconds. Were things really going to be that much different once Kyle was married? Or was I just freaking out for no reason? If things were to remain the same, Madison was sure to grow jealous of my friendship with Kyle; he already spent more time with me than with her, as horrible as that may sound.

Madison and I didn't have a rough relationship, but we're not exactly the best of friends either. She likes to speculate from time to time that something is going on between Kyle and I, but if you ask me, she's just insecure about herself. She's a beautiful girl, and she's extremely nice when you catch her on a good day; I don't see any reason as to why she should be insecure about herself.

Sighing softly, I took a seat on the couch and then pulled out my cell phone to send Kyle a text saying that Tomas had agreed to go along on Warped Tour. Kyle sent back a reply within the next minute.

Cool. I told you that he'd agree to go if you were going ;)

I rolled my eyes slightly, and laughed softly as I read his response.

Yeah, whatever. What are you doing right now?

I'm getting ready to come over because I'm hungry, and I can't go over to Maddi's and eat because she's in San Antonio visiting her aunt.

Lazy ass. I'll see you in a little while then

Tossing my phone aside, I got up and went around my apartment, straightening out my things and making sure everything was where it was supposed to be. I was in my bedroom, throwing my dirty clothes into the hamper when I heard a knock on the door. I tossed one last pair of pants into the hamper and then went to let Kyle in.

When I opened the door, I found him to be holding a couple of grocery bags. Giving him a questioning look, I stepped aside and let him in all the same.

"What's in the bags?" I asked as I shut and locked the door.

"Dinner." He replied simply, making his way into the kitchen.

I followed him and then watched as he unpacked the bags, revealing a store bought fully cooked chicken, potato salad, and ice cream from one bag, and a bottle of Jager and a pack of Red Bull.

"Jager bombs? Kyle, I don't like Jager bombs." I frowned.

"I know." He replied before he pulled out a bottle of Midori and some whiskey sour mix. "That's why we're going to start things off with Midori Sour's."

Raising an eyebrow, I crossed the kitchen and reached into the cabinets, pulling out four glasses, and two shot glasses. I set two glasses, and the two shot glasses aside, and then took the two remaining glasses to where Kyle had set the drinks.

I opened the Midori and the whiskey mix, and then poured them into a pitcher. Mixing it thoroughly, I turned to Kyle, who was now grabbing a couple of plates from the top shelf.

"On the rocks, or mixed?" I asked.

"On the rocks." Kyle replied.

Nodding my head, I pulled the ice tray out of the freezer and then put a few ice cubes in each glass. Balancing the cups carefully in one hand, I grabbed the pitcher and led the way to my small dining room, while Kyle followed behind me, carrying our food and plates. We took a seat at the dining table and then dished up our plates.

We ate in silence for a couple of minutes before I decided to pour our drinks. I took a sip of mine, savoring the taste, before I turned my attention to Kyle, watching as he swirled his ice cubes around.

"Is Madison going to be back tomorrow?" I asked.

Kyle shook his head before he raised his cup, and took a big drink. He licked his lips slightly, and then set his cup back down on the table before he began to stab at his food.

"But ... isn't she going on tour with us?" I asked.

"No." Kyle said simply. "She doesn't want to go, and I'm not gonna force her."

I made a face, and then sighed quietly to myself. "Did you two get into a fight?" I asked softly.

"She doesn't want me to leave for tour," Kyle mumbled, "she wants me to stay here with her. When I told her that I wouldn't, she got mad and said that she was going to stay with her aunt for a while." Kyle shrugged his shoulders as if it didn't matter to him before he turned his blue eyes up to me.

"But ... you're doing what you love." I said quietly. "It makes you happy. Doesn't she want you to be happy?" I asked quizzically.

"You would think so, but ... I don't know." Kyle sighed. "I just ... I don't know, Allie J."

Frowning to myself, I looked down at my own plate and began to push around bits and pieces of my potato salad. "I'm sorry Kyle." I whispered.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for, sweetheart." Kyle said.

"But ... do you think that maybe ... " I trailed off, shaking my head.

"Maybe what?"

"Maybe, she might be mad because I'm going on tour with you guys?" I asked hesitantly.

"Why would you think that?" Kyle asked.

"I just ... get the impression that Madison feels threatened by me." I said sheepishly. "We never really did get along."

"Madison isn't necessarily ... 'threatened' by you," Kyle said slowly as he searched for the right words to say. "She just ... doesn't trust me around you."

At his words, I turned my gaze back to him, and found him to be watching me with his blue eyes. "Kyle, she's your fiancé, though; what kind of girl doesn't trust the boy she's going to marry?" I asked softly.

"She just ... doesn't seem to understand how close we are. She thinks sometimes that we hang out way too much to just be friends."

"Well, have you told her that she's just being silly?" I asked. "She has nothing to worry about." I insisted.

All the same, Kyle shrugged his shoulders. "She'll get over it soon." He agreed. "Don't worry about it, Allie J, we'll be fine." He said with a soft smile.

Though I wasn't fully satisfied with Kyle's optimism, I nodded my head all the same. Within a minute or so, Kyle struck up a conversation about something else, and we were able to get back to our dinner. Before I knew it, the food was gone, and all the Midori Sour was gone. I was slightly buzzed, seeing as how Midori Sour doesn't actually have that much alcohol in it, unlike Jager Bombs.

While I put away the dishes into the dishwasher, Kyle gathered the Jager, Red Bull, the two shot glasses, and the two cups I had set out, bringing them into the living room. I turned the lights out in the kitchen after I was done and then went to join him.

"So tell me, " I said as I sat down beside him, "what kind of stuff is there to do while on tour?"

"Tons of stuff." He replied as he began to pour some Red Bull into the two glasses. "Like, checking out other bands, hanging out with cool fans, hanging out with other dudes in other bands afterwards," Kyle shrugged his shoulders, "you name it, and you will probably be able to do it." Kyle looked over at me, and eyed me for a few seconds before he added, "you never know, you just may be able to find yourself a new boyfriend while we're gone."

I felt my cheeks start to burn at Kyle's words. "Kyle, I don't even know anybody else, apart from the guys though." I blushed.

"I'll introduce you to people." He replied.

He fell silent as he carefully poured the Jager into the two shot glasses. When he was satisfied that they both held the same amount of alcohol, he handed me a shot glass, and then nodded to the glass of Red Bull in front of me on the coffee table. Sighing heavily, I grabbed the glass, and then listened as Kyle counted backwards from three to one before I dropped the shot glass into the cup. Hurrying so it wouldn't spill all over the carpet, I drank the mixture quickly, trying not to focus on the Jager biting at my tongue.

I somehow managed to finish my drink before Kyle, and I set my empty glass down in front of me, making a face. A few seconds later, Kyle set his glass down as well, and then looked over at me, laughing softly.

"I'll be too shy around anybody other than the guys, though." I said before he could make a comment about my dislike of Jager. "I'll probably just hang out on the bus, and visit with the guys."

"Well then, perhaps you'll find yourself getting cozy with one of them." Kyle teased. "Like, maybe Austin." He grinned.

"Kyle, just ... ah, no." I said, shaking my head. "Austin is an odd boy. I love him to death, but he is just plain odd."

"Allie J, we're all odd." Kyle pointed out.

"Yeah, but Austin ... is the oddest." I replied, causing Kyle to laugh loudly at my remark.

I glanced over at him and saw that his cheeks were flushed a soft shade of red, indicating that the alcohol was starting to get to him.

"Okay, okay, so Austin is out of the picture." Kyle said. "Is there anyone who actually catches your eye?"

"Well," I paused momentarily, debating whether or not I wanted to admit what I was thinking aloud to him.

"You think one of them is cute, don't you?" Kyle grinned, seeing the hesitation on my face. "Who is it?"

"You're just going to make fun of me because he's younger than me." I whined.

"Alyssa, we're all younger than you except for Jonathan." Kyle said. "Come on, spill."

Stubbornly, I shook my head. "I'm going to need a couple more drinks before I tell you."

"Fine." Kyle replied.

Within a matter of seconds, he had fished out my shot glass, refilled both my glasses, and was holding them out to me. "Go for it." He said.

"Kyle." I growled, "Don't make me do it by myself."

"Sweetie, I'm a fucking pussy when it comes to Jager," he said, shaking his head. "I'm already feeling sluggish over here."

"Sissy bitch." I mumbled before I dropped the shot glass into the cup once more, and drank down the mixture.

By the time I sat the empty glass down, I felt the effects of alcohol consuming my body as well, and I took a deep breath, steadying myself.

"Dude, Kyle, we're a couple of light weights." I complained as I slumped back against the couch. "I mean, we got drunk off of fucking Midori Sour's and a couple of Jager Bombs."

"Yeah." Kyle agreed. "Like I said, pussies."

We sat there in silence, both of us trying to get use to the recently consumed alcohol reeking havoc with our systems, before Kyle cleared his throat and spoke up.

"So who is it?" He asked.

"Kyle, I'm not telling you." I blushed. "And I don't necessarily have a crush, or a major boner for him ... I just ... " I trailed off, trying to make sense of the words running amok in my mind.

"Who is it?" Kyle asked again. "Just tell me, it's not like I'm going to run off and tell him."

"Fine." I sighed. "I think Caleb's a cutie." I admitted.

Kyle was silent for a second or two before he laughed quietly to himself. "You like Caleb?" He asked.

"I just said that I think he's cute." I retorted. "He's a good looking boy, and he's fun to be around, but it's horrible because he's like three years younger than me. I feel like a pedophile." I frowned.

"Alyssa, it's just three years." Kyle laughed. "That's nothin'. And you're not a fucking pedophile; he's twenty years old, not sixteen or anything like that."

"You'd better not tell anyone about this, now." I growled. "No going off behind my back and telling Caleb that I think he's cute."

Kyle giggled softly as he leaned over and kissed my forehead gently. "Don't worry, I won't." He promised as he pulled away. I watched as he ran a hand tiredly across his face, and then he pulled himself to his feet. "I'm off to bed," he announced. "I'll catch you in the morning." He said.

"Goodnight." I replied, watching him as he made his way into the hallway and toward the bedrooms.

As he disappeared, I sighed softly and then propped my feet up on the coffee table, thinking to myself about the guys. I wasn't lying when I told Kyle that I thought Caleb was cute, because he really was. And, like I said, he was really fun to be around.

Who knows, maybe Kyle was right, and I would end up with one of the guys by the end of the summer. You never know what's going to happen out on tour.