The Crazy Thing We Call Life

“Damn shawty ya kno I love ya rite?”
I sat up in my bed, expecting to see my husband’s smiling face looking down at me or at least him lying next to me but the bed was empty. I scratched my head in confusion. How am I hearing his voice and not seeing his face? Am I losing my mind? I decided that I better go find him because he has to be here some where. I slowly scooted my feet off of the edge of the bed. A sharp pain ran through my belly and my hand instantly flew to my lower stomach. I don’t think I could take much more of this pain. It’s getting so bad its bringing tears to my eyes. I probably should tell Jason what’s going on with my stomach but I know he will freak out. Hell I think all of the guys would. I wonder how they would feel if they knew. I remember how over protective some of them were when I was pregnant with Izzy and I was fine then. Jokie hovered over me like a mother hen on the last two months of my pregnancy. I laughed when I thought about it. I have never seen him act like that. He is giving me a little more space this time around though he doesn’t know I’ve watched the way he tries to read my eyes now to see if I am hiding being in pain. See I know him so well. Who would have thought the almighty Joker would be such a softie when it comes to a kid being born. Jokie and Jason think they’re slick but they aren’t even close sometimes. But off subject. I am terrified something is wrong with this baby. I can’t shake the feeling something is up with this one. One word rang through my mind all of a sudden, miscarriage. Oh no. I couldn’t handle a miscarriage I know this for a fact. The thought that the baby was growing inside of me for six months and then it passes away on me, I shuddered. I couldn’t do it. I don’t think Jason could either. I mean our children together were planned yet they weren’t in a way. I mean we wanted kids but every time I got pregnant it was a surprise. Izzy was the best surprise I have ever gotten in my life. Hell my life with Jason is always full of surprises. His proposal to me was one of the biggest surprises of my life, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Hell I wouldn’t change him for the world as much as he aggravates me sometimes. I smiled. My life as a wife and a mother was beautiful.
I stood up and the baby kicked. I held my belly once again and stood still for a few minutes. Maybe if I stood here for a minute the pain will stop. I never had this much pain with Izzy. Maybe this child is a huge ladybug. Oh god I’m glad I didn’t say that out loud. Kat would gloat about being right like she always does. I mentally growled. I swear she is such a bitch at times but that’s my best friend so I deal with it. Even though her and my husband arguing all the time for the past… I don’t feel like counting right now so just pretend I thought of a good number, years. I shook my head and attempted to move again. I skidded my feet across the floor slowly and that’s when I heard it; my laugh.
“You know you have my heart forever right Bug?” I stopped right outside our bedroom door. I knew exactly where his voice was coming from. Some one was watching one of our old home videos. I quietly laughed. Not just any one I am positive I know who it was. I smiled when I remembered the exact day that tape was recorded. The memory felt like it just happened and it hasn’t been five years ago. I smiled and tried to step down the stairs. I wanted to watch the movie. I wanted to see what we were like. I mean I remember what it was like but feeling something and physically seeing it on tape are completely different. I got down the first two steps and I had to stop because I nearly lost my balance. I tried to stay quiet because I didn’t want to alert any one downstairs that I had almost fell. But this is me we are talking about so of course I let out a small squeak and Jason came running to the stairs. His eyes were wide with concern. I tried to smile so my pain wouldn’t show on my face. He grinned back and ran up the stairs and scooped me up in his arms like I weighed absolutely nothing. I groaned which caused him to smirk even more.
“I was just thinking bout ya baby gurl.” I rolled my eyes but still smiled.
“It’s pretty easy to tell babe.” He laughed. God I love his laugh. I never could explain why but when he laughed my world was at peace. He sat me down on the couch next to him. That’s when I noticed we had an entire room full of people. I started to stutter a bit and Kat laughed.
“Aw I guess jug head does have his moments.” Jason rolled his eyes and flipped her off and plopped down on the couch next to me. He pulled me as close to him as possible and wrapped one hand around my lower back. I honestly don’t see how that was even possible because my belly is huge and Jason’s a pretty big guy. I mean he’s not fat but he’s practically all muscle. God I sound like I am making fun of my husband. I’m just going to shut up. I felt him shift over a bit so I tried to pull back. I know my belly has to be aggravating him. Hell it aggravates me. Don’t say it wouldn’t aggravate you and if you say it wouldn’t I want you to picture this okay. I am the first to admit I am pretty short so imagine a 5’5” red head with an oversized belly trying to take a bath. I am about to give up there period and we all know I love my showers. It hurts to lower myself my self down in the tub and my feet and back ached when I took a shower so either way I am in pain after a supposed to be relaxing activity. Jason actually surprised me when he pulled me back to him and rolled his eyes. I smiled but the tears started to form. I swear after I pop this kid out I will never ever complain about my period again. I thought I was emotional then but now oh my god. The stupidest things made me cry and I hated it. He smiled down at me then kissed the top of my head and whispered right next to my ear.
“This is my favorite part.” I turned my attention back to the screen.

*The camera switched hands and all you saw was the green grass on the ground. Kat and Jokie were whispering about something, probably about Jason and me. I watched a pale hand, so that must have been Kat; push some tree branches out of the camera’s view. That’s when we came into view. Wow, I held my breath for a moment. Jason was beautiful. I mentally smacked my forehead. A guy isn’t supposed to be beautiful Angelina. He was lying on his back with his hands behind his head staring at the sky. He had on some baggy black jeans with bright baby blue boxers and a black tank top. His hat was off of his head and next to him in the grass. He had the biggest smile on his face. I was lying next to him. I didn’t look nearly as good though. I was laying next to him staring up at the sky just as he was. We both looked so…happy it almost made me cry. He smiled then in the blink of an eye he was hovering over me. I mentally laughed because I remember my exact thoughts at that moment. ‘God he’s blocking my view of the clouds.’ He smiled and his massive forearms were placed beside my head and were holding his weight up. He leaned down and kissed me then grinned like a crazy person.
“Ya have no idea how happy I am ya chose me. I mean I wanted ya to but I jus wanted ya ta b happy.” I giggled then reached up and pulled him down to kiss me again.
“Wanna know a secret?” He nodded like a little kid. “I will never be able to explain how much you mean to me.” He chuckled then smirked and it reminded me a lot of Joker.
“Damn I iz good. I stole tha words from da writer.” I rolled my eyes and smacked him lightly. He leaned down and kissed me one more time. “Of all da people in da world I’z glad Joker hooked up wit yo best friend.” I couldn’t help it I giggled again.
“Actually I never thought I would be able to say that I fell for a wigger and I don’t regret a single moment of it.”
Of course Kat had to ruin the moment by clapping and coming out of her and Jokie’s hiding spot with the video camera.
“Bravo, bravo I am so sending you two to the world’s sappiest couple contest.” Leave it to Kat to ruin a perfect moment right? The static made a loud noise and that was the end of that home video.*

Kat laughed and got up and walked to the collection of home videos we had. She took her time choosing the perfect one too. I was starting to get aggravated until she popped in it and turned around and smiled at me.
“This ones for you Angel.” I cuddled into Jason as much as possible and waited for the movie to start. That is until I seen what it was and my eyes nearly watered on instant. ‘Angelina and Jason’s wedding 10.17.2011’ man as if I wasn’t emotional enough. Nice going Kat!