Heartbeats Away From Disaster

As the minutes wore on, I grew more and more antsy. Fidgeting with anything I could reach, I was earning some annoyed looks from the rest of the guys. I couldn't help it though; we were almost home after two and a half long months of being away. And here we would remain for a guaranteed six months. No tours to worry about. No shows to go and play. Nothing but rest and relaxation.

Gazing out the window, I felt a small smile start to pull across my lips when I saw that we were now on the outskirts of our hometown.

"Craig, what is up with you, man?" Jason asked, laughing slightly.

"Dude, we're home." I replied. "Aren't you happy to be home?"

"Yeah, I am." He grinned, "but you're nothing short of fucking ecstatic to be back here." He pointed out.

"I've missed being home." I admitted.

"What he means by that is that he misses Mitzi." Matt spoke up.

"Yeah, I do miss Mitzi." I said. "But so do all of you guys."

"You're missing her more than you normally would, though, because you're just now figuring out that you're really in love with her." He said, nodding his head as if to prove his point.

"Matt, seriously, enough with the fucking conspiracy that I'm still in love with Mitzi." I snapped. "I love her because she's my best friend; I'm not in love with her though."

While the rest of the guys eyed me hesitantly, Matt gave me a little smirk before he leaned back on the couch and rested his hands behind his head. "If you're not in love with her, you wouldn't have gotten so worked up about my little statement." He teased. "Seriously, we can all see it; you might as well just admit it aloud."

"I'm not in love with her." I mumbled. "She's my best friend." I repeated. "You guys can't see something that's not there."

A ripple of mixed replies echoed around the front room of the bus, and everyone muttered a comment here and there under their breaths. Frowning to myself, I felt my cheeks start to grow hot, and I glanced back to Matt only to find him watching me as intently as ever. Giving him a mean look, I turned my attention to my sidekick that I had left abandoned in my lap.

Taking it into my hands, I slid it open and thought about sending Mitzi and text message, telling her that we were back in town. However, I saw Matt watching me out of the corner of my eye, so I closed my sidekick, deciding to just give Mitzi a call as soon as I got back to my house.

For most of the tour, Matt has been giving me shit about being in love with Mitzi and all that; I was determined not to give him any more reason to suspect that I was in love with her. I'll admit that I missed her more than usual, but that wasn't reason enough to proclaim that I was in love.

The rest of the drive seemed to pass by in a blur, and before I knew it, I was sliding my key into the lock of my apartment door. When I got inside, I was surprised to see that the living room was somewhat organized, when I clearly remembered to have left it in a mess, seeing as how I was tearing through my things, looking for whatever I needed to pack with me.

Taking another look around, I remembered that Mitzi was the last person in here; she must have straightened things up for me before she left.

Mitzi.

Setting my bags down on the floor, I pulled my sidekick out and quickly dialed her number. Holding my phone to my ear, I waited impatiently for her to answer. Just when I thought I was going to get her voicemail, Mitzi's soft voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey Mitzi." I said. "We're home."

"Hello? Craig?" She asked. "Hello?"

I frowned to myself as her voice cut in and out. "Mitzi, can you hear me?" I asked, trying to speak as clearly as possible into the receiver.

"Craig? I can barely hear you." She said. "I'm in a bad spot; I'll call you back when I get a better signal."

"Oh, okay." I sighed. "I'll talk to you in a little while."

"Okay, bye Cra - "

With that, her phone cut out and I muttered a few choice words under my breath. While I waited for Mitzi to call me back, I decided to order some pizza for dinner, seeing as how I was in no mood to cook. After I ordered my pizza, I dragged my bags to my bedroom, tossed them next to my closet, and then went back into the living room.

Making sure I had my wallet, phone, and keys on me, I made a quick trip to the gas station that was a couple of blocks down the street from my apartment complex. About ten minutes later, I was back at my apartment, placing my newly purchased six pack of beer in the refrigerator. Just as I closed the refrigerator door, my phone began ringing. Setting down my chips, I reached into my pocket and pulled out my sidekick, hitting the accept button and holding it up to my ear in one swift motion.

"Hey Mitzi." I greeted her.

"Hey Craig." She replied. "Sorry about earlier, we were driving through a bad spot."

"We?" I asked slowly.

"Oh, me and Lyle."

I scowled at the mention of his name, but did my best not to let the annoyance show in my tone. "Oh, well, we're home now. I was calling to see if you want to come and hang out. I have an extra large pizza on the way, a cold six pack in the fridge, and a big bag of potato chips." I grinned. "You should come on down."

"I would Craig, but, I can't." Mitzi replied.

"What do you mean you can't?" I asked. "Do you want me to come pick you up?"

"Craig, I'm in Port Huron with Lyle." Mitzi said softly.

"But? Port Huron?" I asked. "What the fuck are you doing clear up there?"

"Me and Lyle are gonna hang out at the Lake for the weekend, and stuff." Mitzi replied. "We'll be back on Sunday night."

"But, Mitzi, I told you that we were going to be home today." I muttered. "You said that we'd hang out whenever we got home."

"Craig, relax, we've got like six months to hang out." Mitzi sighed. "I'll see you on Sunday night, it's only two days away."

"Mitzi, I told you that I don't want you hanging out with that jerk." I insisted.

"Damn it Craig," she snapped, "don't start with that whole thing again or else I'm going to hang up on your ass."

"Is he right there? Give him the phone so I can tell him myself to stay away from you." I muttered.

Mitzi was silent for a few seconds before she sighed and replied, "he's inside the gas station right now; we just got here."

I growled lowly and started to think of another mean comment to make about him, but a loud knock on my door threw my attention off course. Walking across the living room, I remained silent as my dislike for Lyle great larger by the second.

"Craig, are you still there?" Mitzi asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, I'm here." I mumbled. "I think my pizza is here, hang on."

Unlocking the door, I pulled it open and saw Matt to be standing there. "What do you want now?" I snapped.

Matt raised an eyebrow in my direction, and then held up the laptop case he was holding on to. "You forgot your laptop." He said simply. "Can I come in, or am I suddenly not welcomed?"

Scowling, I made a motion for him to come in before I turned my attention back to my conversation with Mitzi. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Matt watching me once again as he stepped inside and shut the door behind him. Not wanting him to eavesdrop on my conversation, I left Matt in the living room, and went into my bedroom, kicking the door shut behind me and then took a seat on the edge of my bed.

"So when are you going to be home?" I asked.

Mitzi sighed softly before she answered. "Sunday night." She repeated. "We can hang out then." She said. "Oh, and the grand opening of the restaurant is on Monday night. You and the guys are welcome to come if you want; I can put everybody on my guest list, and you can get your dinner for free."

"Oh? How is it that we get it for free?" I asked.

"Because I planned everything for it." Mitzi stated in a matter of fact tone. "Justin gave me a guest list of ten people, and told me that he'll serve them for free."

"Do we have to dress up?"

"Not if you don't want to." Mitzi replied. "If you want to, you can. You'll probably be able to fit in a lot better if you did dress up." She teased.

"Oh yeah, all those head officials are supposed to be there, aren't they?"

"Yeah," Mitzi giggled, "can you picture you and the guys sitting there beside them? They'll probably be so scandalized. And then - " Mitzi stopped herself in the middle of her sentence when I heard a guy talking in the background.

A scowl crossing my face once more, I listened as Mitzi responded to him. They exchanged some more words, before Mitzi finally turned her attention back to me. "Sorry Craig, I gotta get going." She said. "But, Sunday night I'll stop by, okay? We'll hang out, and then on Monday you can watch me run around like a chicken with it's head cut off, checking to make sure that everything with the grand opening is taken care of."

"Alright." I said softly. "I'll see you Sunday, sweetheart."

"Bye Craig."

Mitzi didn't even give me a chance to respond, and before I even had a chance to think of saying 'goodbye' the line went dead. Pulling the phone away from my ear, I stared at it slightly in shock for a few seconds, before I shook my head and tossed it onto my bed. Running a hand through my hair, I suddenly couldn't help but want to hop in my car, and drive up to Port Huron to intrude on Mitzi and Lyle's weekend getaway.

If I did that, though, I'd feel guilty about it for being such a hypocrite. I was the one who told Mitzi in the first place to find someone else, because I couldn't step up to the plate, and then when she finally does go out and finds herself someone, I respond by saying he wasn't right for her. Mitzi was right, I didn't know anything about Lyle, but still, you don't have to exactly know someone to get that vibe off of them.

I had only ever been in Lyle's presence once, and even then it was for a mere two minutes.

Two minutes was all it took, though, for him to fall into my 'do not trust' category. I don't know, maybe it was just me unconsciously jumping to the defensive side, knowing that there were tons of other guys out there who would jump at the chance to call Mitzi theirs. I've had her to myself for the past couple of years now, and I guess I wasn't used to having her run off with somebody else.

Shaking my head, I stood up and slowly walked back to the living room. Sitting on the coffee table in front of Matt was my pizza that I had ordered. Matt turned his attention from the slice of pizza he was already eating, and then swallowed what food he had in his mouth.

"You owe me twenty-two bucks." He said simply before he took another bite.

I took a seat on the opposite end of the couch and reached into the box, grabbing a slice and putting in on a paper plate. "Yeah, yeah." I sighed.

"What's up with you?" Matt asked. "First you were all happy to be back home, and now you're looking as miserable as ever."

"I just got off the phone with Mitzi," I mumbled, "she and Lyle are up at Lake Huron for the weekend."

"You're jealous of him." Matt pointed out. "You wish that she were with you instead."

"Well," I paused for a few seconds before I slowly nodded my head, "alright, yeah, I'll admit that I wish she were with me instead of him. I'm not used to having to share her with any other guy, apart from our friends here."

Matt wiped his mouth off on a napkin, and then set his half eaten pizza down on his plate before he turned to me, giving me a hesitant look.

"Matt, if you need to tell me something, just come on out and say it." I mumbled.

"Alright, fine." He said. "Regardless of whether or not you want to acknowledge it, you're jealous of Lyle. I know that you don't want to hear me say it, but I'm gonna fucking say it again because it want it to get through your head; you're in love with her. You always have been, you always will be. Don't keep denying it, because you're only going to end up hurting in the end. So suck it up, and admit to yourself that you love her."

"Matt," I sighed, "I'm not in love with her." I said tiredly. "Quit saying that I am, because I'm not."

Matt rolled his eyes slightly and then waved his hand, as if waving off my statement. "Okay, fine, you're 'not in love with her'." He said, quoting my words. "Even so, you're gonna have to get used to sharing Mitzi with Lyle."

Eyeing him, I tilted my head to the side. "What do you mean?" I asked slowly.

Matt frowned to himself. "They're together now; they've been together for the past week or so."

"Are you fucking serious?" I asked. "But, why didn't she tell me?"

Matt shrugged his shoulders. "She probably knew you'd be mad at her; I don't think Mitzi can handle it when you're mad at her."

"I'm not mad." I mumbled. "I'm just ... " I trailed off, shaking my head when no words came to mind.

Matt didn't say anything, but rather sat there, watching me with a sympathetic look. I knew what was going through his mind, he was thinking that I had it bad for her.

He was wrong, though, I simply didn't want my best friend to be involved with a guy that I didn't trust whatsoever.

But then again, if he was wrong, how do you explain all these sorts of indescribable emotions that were rushing through my body? How do you explain how much it hurt to hear that Mitzi had finally moved on? How do you explain how much it killed me to know that I was no longer the only guy who she would have on her mind?