Sidney Crosby - relationships for dummies

When Sidney and I finally got to his apartment after dropping off Kris and Jordan, I was a little reluctant for our talk. I wasn’t sure what Sidney was going to say and as much as I wanted to know why he blew me off for so long, I was also afraid to know. What if there really was another girl? I’m not sure I could really forgive him for that one. There was no way in hell that I was going to be a rebound girl, or someone he comes to when things with other girls don’t work out. Never in a million years.

Sidney was silent as he unlocked his door and grabbed my hand, leading me inside. He tentatively laced our fingers together as he pulled me towards his living room and I let him. I wasn’t letting my guard down; I was merely seeing how far he was going to go and what he was planning on doing. Although, I couldn’t contain a smile as I looked down at our hands and noticed how nicely our fingers fit together. My mom always told me when I was younger that I’d know when I’d found the guy for me because our hands would fit together like puzzle pieces.

I shook the thoughts from my head as Sidney sat down pulling me into his lap. He didn’t say anything but just wrapped his arms around me tightly. We didn’t say anything; I just stared straight ahead while he rested his chin on my shoulder. In a sense, we were both mentally preparing ourselves for the conversation we were about to have. But for anything to happen between us, this needed to be done.

With a sigh, Sidney moved from under me so that we were sitting somewhat face to face. I crossed my legs and curled up into the couch, ready for him to say something. He let out another sigh before taking my hand in his and absentmindedly playing with my fingers.

“Rachel, I just wanted to start by saying I’m sorry I avoided you for months.”
“So you’re admitting to avoiding me?” My voice came across a lot calmer than I thought it would.
“Unfortunately, yes. But before you get all angry, can I explain?”
I nodded in response. So far this was going fairly well.
“I was jealous.” Um, what?
“Jealous of what, exactly?”
“Dubinsky.” My face fell slightly after I heard his answer.
“Oh…”
“Yeah. Apparently some of the guys had been spreading rumors about us-”
“What about us, exactly,” I interrupted.
“Just that we were officially dating.” He must have caught the expression on my face because he quickly added, “Not that I didn’t want to be official with you, I just hadn’t asked you myself yet so I didn’t want premature rumors going around in case you said no.”
“Wow, Sid, that’s really sweet.” I wanted to hug him, but I knew now was not the time. We still had a lot of talking to do.
“So anyway, apparently the rumors my team started spread over to the Rangers locker room. The entire game that little ass pestered me about you. He kept telling me he was better and that he could get you back in a heartbeat if he really wanted.”
“And you believed him?”
“Rachel, to be fair, we had only really been on one date. And I’m not sure if I can really count that as a date since you just came to my game and then we hung out at your place afterwards.”
“Ok so I see your point, but what does that have to do with ignoring me?”
“I thought about calling you after the game to see if it was true, everything he said, but just thinking about you made me angry. I didn’t want to think about him anywhere near you and it just well, sort of made me sick to my stomach.” My eyes softened upon hearing this.
“Sidney, I don’t know what exactly Brandon told you, but we only dated for two months.”
“Can you tell me what did happen between you?”

I tilted my head back, trying to remember our relationship. It hadn’t been all that great now that I was remembering back. I could tell Sidney was anxious to know what happened though. I never thought that something like this could bother him so much, but I could see where he was coming from. I’d be angry too if my opponent was talking about all the things he did with Sidney.

“Well, there’s not much to tell, but I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.”
“How’d you meet?”
“One of my friends was going to school in Hartford. She had won tickets to a Wolf Pack game, along with locker room passes afterwards. So we went down after the game and then we had our first date the next night. I lived near DC at the time so after a week of visiting my friend, I went home and we kept up a long distance relationship.”
“Did you like him?” I let out a sigh. This was the exact question I battled myself over while we were dating.
“To an extent. I liked the fact that he was sweet and always called me after his games and would send me things. I wasn’t a huge fan of how I never knew what he was up to. There were times that I sometimes wondered if he was cheating on me, but then he’d send me something like the puck from his game winning goal and I’d brush all those thoughts away.” By now I was back in Sidney’s lap, leaned up against his chest as he played with our fingers again.
“Was he ever cheating on you?”
“That I don’t know. I never really found out since I had never become close enough with any of his teammates to have an inside source.”
“Is that why you became close to Kris and Jordan?” I let out a laugh.
“No, I mean it’s always helpful to know that I have an inside source, but generally people have to do something to lose my trust. I never actually lost trust in Brandon, I just had some suspicions.”
“So what happened?”
“Well after he got called up to the NHL, his personality changed immensely. In essence, he basically thought he was the shit. I mean, he only played six games, but apparently those six games meant that he was heaven sent. He started treating our relationship like I was lucky to be dating him.”

I paused to look up at Sidney. Our eyes connected and he leaned down, placing a light kiss on my lips. I smiled up at him and kissed his cheek. I paused for a second, trying to decide what to tell Sidney next. Lucky for me, he took charge.

“How did you guys break up?” I took another deep breath, making sure I wouldn’t come off as bitter.
“In a way, I guess you could say that it was a mutual breakup.”
“How only in a way?”
“We had two different reasons. For him, it started when I refused to sleep with him because I didn’t feel like we were at that point in our relationship. From there he criticized me because I wasn’t willing to drop everything and move with him. That’s really when I started getting more passionate about dance. It was something that I could do so I didn’t have to think of him and all his drama.”
“What was your reason?”
“Pretty much the same as his. I wasn’t ready to sleep with him and I didn’t want to move in with him. I still wasn’t sure if he was fooling around on the side and it just wasn’t worth giving up everything I had worked for.”
“Just so you know, I’d never force you to sleep with me,” Sidney mumbled, placing a slight kiss on my neck.
“I know.”

From there, a slightly peaceful silence consumed us. Sidney pulled me closer to him and rested his chin on my shoulder. I wasn’t entirely sure what was going through his head, but my mind was racing. I had told my side of the story and I had hoped that that would shed a bit more light on why Sidney had disappeared for so long. Now I was just more confused. Finally unable to hide my curiosity, I voiced my concerns.

“Sidney.”
“Hmmm,” he murmured, placing a delicate kiss on my neck.
“I get why my dating Brandon would bother you, but why were you gone for so long? You could have called and I’d have explained everything to you. I just don’t understand why you didn’t even bother to make any contact with me.” He let out a sigh.
“I told you Rachel, I was jealous.”
“So just because you’re jealous you have the right to avoid me for four months? Is that how things are going to work? Something happens to make you jealous and you disappear for months?” I was starting to get angry now.
“I didn’t stay away from you that long because I was jealous.”
“Oh?”
“That was only for the first month.” I arched my eyebrows skeptically. “After that I figured you wouldn’t want to see me.”

I moved away from him. There was no way Sidney was going to pull that lame excuse on me. Did he think I was stupid or something? Well, I have news for him; I’m not dumb.

“And you still couldn’t have called? Do you realize how much of this could have been avoided if you just picked up your damn phone?”
“Rachel, please don’t get mad at me. I thought we were doing so well.”
I sent him a colder stare.
“I know I made a mistake and I promise I won’t do it again. Now can you please come back over here?”

Sidney sent me a small pout which, in reality was actually fairly pathetic, but because he’s Sidney, I crawled back over and into his arms. A smile formed itself on his face as he wrapped his limbs around me and began running his fingers through my hair once again. We sat there in silence for a few minutes. I don’t know about Sidney, but I was in deep thought. I needed to show him that I wasn’t just giving in to him and that this discussion was nowhere near over.

“Sidney,” I sighed out as his hands began wandering down my arms to around my middle, pulling me farther into his lap. “What am I going to do with you?”
“How about forgiving me,” he whispered innocently in my ear, but causing shivers down my spine regardless.
“We still have a lot of work to do.”
“I know,” he sighed out, sounding slightly defeated. “But in the meantime can we watch a movie?”

I looked up at him to see a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. I let out a big grin and nodded my head, moving so he could pick the movie before snuggling back into his arms once he was back on the couch. Yes, we had a lot of work to do, but we were taking baby steps. This was definitely progress and while I was still hurt, Sidney’s arms took away any uncertainty I had about our rocky relationship.