You Belong to Me I Believe

Jasper’s POV

I clamped my jaw around the jugular of the prey I had just caught and slowly sank my wet teeth through the fur and fat, until I felt the warm blood seep through and slick down my throat. At first I felt like an obligation to drink the tasteless liquid that only soothed and never satisfied, but I suddenly got a hot flush down my spine and I heard the animal squeal as my hands gripped tighter and started shredding the flesh with my fingertips. I heard it yelp but I didn’t feel it fight to get away. I got more and more lost in my monstrous-self, loosing all my humanity with each bite, each taste of blood, each piece of skin torn off…

“Bro,” I felt a large palm grasp my shoulder, instantaneously I spun around a let a large growl ripple out of my throat. As my eyes refocused I drew back and felt ashamed as I saw Emmett standing in front of me, his eyes surprised and his emotions wary.

“Em, I’m,” he placed his hand back on my shoulder as a soothing gesture, but it didn’t touch me, I felt so idiotic.

“Dude, it’s okay. It’s only me, you can be yourself around me, you know that,” his eyes shifted towards my mangled dinner and all I sensed from my brother was understanding. My stomach sunk even lower, Emmett was always understanding, sometimes he was even more reassuring than Edward, or even Carlisle. He was truly a person who accepted you for who you are, but that monster was not who I was. At least, not when I’m with Alice… and she’s not with me anymore.

I turned my head away from Emmett and began to walk towards the river. As I looked down, I saw my nails clumped with bits of flesh and fluff, my hands stained with red blood.

Monster.

I closed my eyes tight but the word didn’t exactly bother me, I wasn’t Edward. I accepted who I was, I wasn’t going to fight that I had these monsters and demons inside of me. Alice knew every part of me, inside and out, I had no reason to feel ashamed and depressed about it, but I didn’t want to give into them. I wanted to be strong like my family and not feel weak anymore.

I sat by the river and began to wash my hands and face off in the stream. Emmett crouched on a rock behind me.

“Jazz, come do that at home,” I shook my head at him. “Bro, what’s going on? I know I’m no Edward or Carlisle, but you can talk to me.” I dragged my hands over my face and then gave a defeated sigh.

“It’s Alice,” I went and sat over on the rock next to him.

“Yeah, she was the one who sent me out here to look for you. So what’s going on with you two? You never fight.”

“I don’t even know if it’s a fight Em. The problem is I don’t know what it is. She keeps getting these visions and then afterwards.. I get these feelings off her and she just becomes more distant with me. She won’t confide in me, all I can think is that it’s something to do with me. But I can’t stay somewhere were I feel so unwanted by a woman I love. She can pretend all she wants I know that when I hold her something’s different, like she wishes I was someone else.”

He scoffed at me. “Don’t be stupid, Alice has never wanted anyone else but you, and never will.”

“You can’t know that, we’ve been together for so long. Feelings can change. I should know.”

“Not for our kind,” Emmett put another hand on my shoulder.

“There’s a first for everything,” I looked into the sky, all I felt from Emmett was confidence, confidence for my love with Alice. I wish I felt the same, for the first time since I met my soul mate, I felt doubt and it made me feel empty.

“Trust me,” he replied, his face smiling. I extended a fist towards him and he bumped his own into mine.

“Thanks bro,” I got up and stretched a little. I’d been walking like a sloth, like a human, for too long, I need to run.

“Any time. So are you heading home with me or what?,” he leaped off the rock and landed cleanly on the bottoms of his feet. I shook my head.

“I still need some time, you know, sort my self out,” he slapped me on the back.

“Okay, I’ll tell Alice.” I nodded my head in thanks. “You know, this reminds me of a conversation I had with my other psycho brother when he was having troubles with his woman. I’m telling you, it’s the extra gifts, they make you crazy.” He winked at me and laughed his care free chuckle before running off into the forest towards home.