Iero Fiasco

Frank squints at the sight of his vibrating cell phone on the night table. He gropes for it and presses the little green button to answer it.
"Hello?" he grunts.
"Is this F. Iero?"
"Yeah."
"We received your package today, you have to pick it up in the next twenty-four hours or we'll have to instill a holding fee."
"Uhh okay," he yawns as he sits up, "where are you at?"
"Post office at the corner of Wellits and Regio."
"Alright. Buh-bye." Frank grumbles as he turns off his cell phone.

He turns and kisses Molly's cheek.
"I'm going out for a bit." he says. She opens her eyes and looks at him.
"Hmm?"
"I'll be back in about half an hour."
"M'okay." she yawns as she falls back asleep.

Frank gets up and calls a cab before pulling on his black jeans and a black t-shirt to match. Can't go wrong in all black. He puts on his shoes and grabs his jacket before heading out of the apartment and down the stairs. He only has to wait a couple of minutes before the cab pulls up in front of the building.
"Uhh, post office on the corner of Wellits and Regio." he says as he slides into the back seat. The driver nods and pulls a u-turn before speeding down the street.

"Do you mind waiting out here?" Frank asks the driver when they arrive at the post office.
"Yeah okay, just hurry up." he says as Frank hurries into the building.

Because of the un-godly hour of the morning, there's not much of a line at the post office.
"Package for F. Iero." he says to the person behind the counter.
"Oh boy." the girl says heading into the back room. She reappears with a huge box and heaves it over the counter and Frank grabs it from her just as she's about to drop it.
"Thanks." he says as he heads back out to the cab. The cab driver opens the trunk for him and he puts it in.

The phone rings and Molly moans into her pillow.
"Fucking assholes." she mutters into her pillow as she gropes for her phone, "Hello?"
"Molly, did I wake you up?" her mother's voice rings out.
"Mmmhmm."
"Sorry, but I wanted to ask you before I forgot if you could pick up the bread from the bakery downtown before you come for dinner."
"Yeah, yeah." Molly mumbles, "What do you want me to get?"
"Your father already made the order, you just have to pick it up."
"Okay." she yawns, "Bye."
"Bye."

Molly rolls over and realizes that Frank is gone. She sits up and rubs her eyes as she remembers him leaving. After coming to the conclusion she won't be falling back asleep she gets up.

The elevator stops and Frank heaves the box up under his arm while trying not to drop the cardboard coffee tray in his other hand as he got out. He walks down the hall to the right apartment before putting down the box. He opens the door and peers inside to hear The Misfits blasting he spots Molly head into the washroom to he places the coffee on the ground and brings the box into the apartment. He hides the box under the bed before heading back out to get the coffee.
"Hey, where'd you go?" Molly asks.
"Coffee." he says showing her the coffee tray with too cups and a paper bag.
"You actually risked getting frost bite on your huevos?" she laughs as she walks up to kiss him.
"Huevos? Are you going spanish on me now." he looks her over, "And naked?"
"I'm not naked." she smiles as he hands her her coffee. He looks over the fact she's in jeans and a bra and smirks, "and you know it."
"Are you trying to win the award for best girlfriend ever?" he asks as he pulls off his coat, "walking around half naked all the time, a guy could get used to that."
"Sure thing, even if i gain seventy-five pounds?" Molly asks as she goes off into her room with the coffee, "I'm putting on a shirt!"
"No!" Frank whines, "I'll take off mine if you take off yours."
"Deal." she calls back as she returns to the living room, she cocks an eyebrow at Frank and he scrambles to pull his shirt off.

"So you excited?" Frank asks as they sit in front of the TV, shirtless, with their coffees.
"About what?"
"Christmas."
"I don't really like the holidays all that much." she says shrugging as she sips her coffee.
"Oh c'mon, gifts." he teases.
"Nah, I mean I like giving gifts not so much receiving them." she says grabbing the remote and changing channels.
"Why?"
"Because."
"Scrooge much?"
"Fine then." she sighs, "I'm a Scrooge, but I can't help it if I don't like the holidays."
"There must be a reason." Frank says rolling his head onto her shoulder, "You just don't not like something for no reason."
"Its a long crappy story."
"You mean like in Gremlins?"
"Gremlins?"
"Yeah, the movie, the chick doesn't like Christmas because her dad died in the chimney or something."
"Oh, umm well not that bad." Molly mumbles bringing the coffee to her mouth. She downs the rest of it before getting up, "I have crap to take care of."

Frank stays on the couch watching TV until the phone rings, he leans over and picks it up.
"Hello?"
"Hey Frank, its Jess, is Molly there?"
"Uh yeah, but can I ask you something first?"
"Yeah."
"Right, so did you know Molly doesn't like Christmas?"
"Well, she doesn't like Easter, Valentine's Day or Thanksgiving, and well she's not too fond of her birthday either." Jess rambles.
"But why?"
"Listen, its not my place to say, she'll tell you when she's ready to tell you." Jess says quietly, "I mean, she'll probably tell you later this week, but its Christmas Eve and I guess she doesn't want to ruin it for you."
"Okay." Frank sighs, "Hey Mols!"
"Yeah." she calls from the kitchen.
"Jess is on the phone for you!"
"I got it!" she calls from the kitchen. He hangs up the phone and goes back to watching TV.

A few minutes later he gets bored and wanders his way into the kitchen to find her mixing something in a bowl.
"Watcha doin? Not to mention fully dressed?" he asks leaning against the counter.
"Making cake."
"Oh, I like cake." Molly can't help but smirk, "Can I have some?"
"Its for the Christmas thing tonight at my parent's."
"Oh, so is it only you who hates Christmas or is it your whole family."
"Just me, as far as I know."
"Right, okay then. So if I ask them-"
"They don't know I hate Christmas." she replies abruptly as she grabs a cake pan from one of the cupboards.
"Why won't you tell me?" he murmurs disgruntled.
"Let's just say its just not the holidays without a full-fledged argument." she mumbles in return, "And besides, I'm such a complex person, I never like my gifts." she says with a bit of a laugh.
"I know you're gonna love, love, love my gift." he grins childishly.
"Don't say that!" Molly exclaims, "When people say that, they give me the gifts I hate the most."
"Fine." Frank pouts, "You're going to hate my gift with a firery passion, you might actually break up with me at the sight of it and I won't get laid for ten years!"
"That's better." Molly laughs as she pours the batter into the pan.

"So if you hate Christmas, why are you making a cake?" Frank asks dipping his finger into the batter and then licking it.
"Because." she murmurs as he leans over the counter, "hey watch it or your necklace will go in the cake."
"Oh right." he says backing away and fiddling with the two metal rectangles dangling from the necklace Molly gave him. She pops the cake in oven and Frank hops up on the counter taking the mixing bowl in his lap and scraping the leftover batter with his finger. "I love chocolate cake."
"You and me both." she laughs as she grabs the mixing spoon and puts it in her mouth.

"I'm horny." Frank says randomly, "You know what's good, Christmas sex."
"Its Christmas Eve." Molly says evilly.
"Same difference." he says taking a lick from the bowl.
"Oh, aren't you sexy."
"Damn right I'm sexy." he says drawing on a thick moustache with the cake batter, "So kiss me you fool!" Molly grabs his face and licks off his upper lip.
"Tasty." she says smacking her lips. Frank grabs her face and presses his lips against hers, pushing his chocolate-flavored tongue into her mouth. They break apart for air, as their noses stay touching,
"C'mon, Christmas sex, I'm practically unwrapped already." he grins.

"I almost burnt the cake because of you." Molly says as they're driving to the suburbs in which her parents' home is, "You and your grabbiness."
"All you had to do was say no." Frank says innocently as he drums his fingers against the tin foil wrapped cake plate on his lap.
"Yeah, well you're naturally persuasive! I can't help it!" Molly laughs.
"You're sexy." he says in an annoying voice.
"I'm driving." she reminds him.
"Pull over and I'll rock your world." he says in a laughing manor, but Molly just laughs, "See! I'm not that persuasive."
"Rock my world huh?" she says shaking her head with laughter.
"Oh yeah baby, I know you want this." he says rubbing his chest Britney Spears style, "With the taste of my lips you're on a ride, I'm toxic you're slipping under." he sings in a high pitch voice.

"How the hell do you know the lyrics to that song?!" she exclaims in a fit of laughter.
"Let's just say I was the sexy stripper at Gerard's thirtieth birthday party and we'll leave it at that." he says smugly.
"Awe man! I'd kill to see that!" Molly pouts.
"Well Bob's gonna turn thirty on New Year's Eve so I can brush up on the rest of Brittney's lyrics and there might be an encore."
"Awe, won't Mel be mad." Molly teases.
"Now I'm just guessing here, but she might maybe understand." Frank says with a humongous laughter grin smeared across his face, "But I think I might go Christina Agueilera for ol Bobby."

"So who's gonna strip on your thirtieth birthday?"
"Psht, that's still two years away." Frank says with a wave of his hand, "I don't have to worry about it. I'm still young and pretty."
"Correction, I'm young and pretty." Molly says with a Barbie-esque hair flip.
"Yeah, you are but so am I." Frank says cocking an eyebrow, "So put that in your pipe and smoke it!"

Molly pulls up in front of the house.
"Ohh." Frank says looking over the Christmas lights.
"Yeah, my mom likes to over-decorate." Molly says shaking her head as she grabs the bag from the bakery from the backseat, "Shall we?"

They head into the house where they're welcomed with open arms by Molly's family and then Molly is quickly ushered away to the kitchen to help her mother.
"So how was your flight?" Fred asks him.
"Okay I guess." Frank says rocking on his heels, "Can I help with anything?"
"Nah, we're pretty much set up, Molly and my wife are just putting together the serving platters now." there's a moment of silence, "Hey, do you listen to The Dears?"
"I've heard of them."
"You've got to listen to this, since you're a music man yourself." Fred says somewhat excitedly as he goes over to his CD collection and pops his choice CD in the player.

"Dad! Not that CD again!" Cynthia exclaims, obviously annoyed.
"Hold on, hold on." Fred says selecting a song, "Here, here, here listen to just the intro."
"You don't have to." Cynthia says to him, he laughs, "He's been doing this to everyone." she turns to her father, "Its crap!"
"What do you think?" Fred asks the younger man.
"I uhh," Frank stutters not wanting to insult his girlfriend's father but suddenly, he's literally saved by the bell.

Cynthia dashes for the CD player as Fred goes to answer the door. She takes out the CD and hides it under the couch.
"Don't tell." she says with a laugh.
"Trust me I won't." he laughs too.

An older couple and a man about Molly's age enter the house and start to shed their winter coats. Molly says hello to the couple, pecking their cheeks in turn and they soon head to see her mother leaving the young man standing there with a goofy grin on his face.
"Frank this is my cousin Charles, or Chaz." Molly introduces.
"Hey, you were serious." he laughs as he shakes Frank's hand, "You are from My Chem."
"Yeah, nice to meet you." Frank says awkwardly, but smiling none the less.
"Hey, just a warning, keep her away from any award shows or whatever that Tre Cool is attending or you'll never see her again." Chaz says evilly and receiving a slap from Molly, "I swear, when she was fourteen, it was like Tre Cool this and Tre Cool that."
"Funny," Frank says cocking an eyebrow, "She met Tre Cool back in August but stayed my girlfriend."
"Awe damn. I can't use that joke anymore." Chaz says in mock dissappointment, "So what have the infamous Warped Battery been up to?"
"Uhh, band practices, writing stuff." Molly shrugs, "And we're going to record another LP in February."
"Cool stuff." he says rocking on his heels, "So what about your band?"
"We're also going into recording, in January though."
"Cool so are your bands gonna hook up and tour together?" Chaz asks randomly.
"Uh, I don't think so." Frank says glancing at Molly, "we haven't really decided how we're gonna tour next summer."

"Chaz man!" Nate calls from accross the house.
"Hey man, was happenin." Chaz replies as he heads over to Nate.
"So this is your family?" Frank asks her casually.
"Nah, I have three more uncles, each of them have a wife and kids and some of their kids have kids, you're lucky, this year its only one umm family unit is here, or else it would be like forty people."
"Holy shit." Frank says with a laugh, "That's a lot of family."
"Yeah, you're telling me." Molly says rolling her eyes just as the door bell rings again.

She goes over to open it to find her cousin Sierra, her husband Rick and Bella.
"Hey come in." she motions to them.

Molly and Frank head to the basement where Chaz, Cynthia, Nate and his girlfriend Kim are playing video games.
"Ahh, celebrating just like Jesus did." Frank says semi-sarcastically.
"Yeah, well if Jesus had the option, I'm sure he'd love to play some X-box on his birthday." Cynthia says matter-of-factly.
"So, can I get in on a game?" Frank asks hopefully.
"Not now." Chaz says shooting him an evil grin, "You gotta earn the right to play with us."
"You're such douches." Molly says shaking her head laughing as she plops herself down on Frank's lap, "Lets make out until they let you play."
"Oh god," Cynthia grumbles as she shoves the controller at Frank.
"Awe, your family's so nice." Frank says laughing, "Naw its okay." he says passing it back to her.

They sit and watch the amazing adventures of some sort of mission squaderant. Frank rests his chin on Molly's shoulder and wraps his arms around her waist. Molly turns her head and kisses his cheek.
"Hey, hey, hey." Cynthia warns.
"Oh c'mon." Molly groans throwing a pillow at her sister, "It was a friggin kiss."
"Yeah but kisses lead to stuff." Chaz says in a mock old lady voice, "Those boys are up to no good." Everyone chuckles with laughter.

"Dinner!" Fred calls into the basement, "Hurry up or I'll eat everything!"
"Right-o!" Cynthia calls back as Nate turns off the game counsel.

"I'm almost nineteen and still at the kids table." Chaz grumbles as the lot of them sit down.
"Well, I'm twenty-five and still here." Nate says rolling his eyes.
"Ahh, well I beat the lot of you." Frank says cocking his eyebrows.
"Yeah, how old are you anyway?" Kim asks curiously.
"I'm twenty-eight." Frank mumbles not wanting to call too much attention to himself.
"Wow," she says with an open mouth, "you don't look it, or act it for that matter."
"Oh well, if everyone's gonna treat you like a kid might as well act like one." he says calmly.
"So, Molly," Chaz starts, "Why do you date such old guys?"
"He's not old!" she says a little ticked off.
"Well older than you." Nate snickers.
"Well, technically Molly can't buy booze in the U.S. yet, so there's always that aspect." Cynthia pipes up.
"You guys are all dickwads." Molly mumbles as they start to serve themselves. Frank pretends not to notice and not to be feeling incredibly awkward.

"Fwank!" Bella says slapping his thigh after they'd finished eating.
"Hey you." he says picking her up, "How've you been?"
"Good!" she says happily, "Why do you draw on your arms?" He looks down at his tattoos.
"Because I like the way it looks," he says kindly, "and some of them have meaning to me."
"Huh?"
"Like this one," he points to his arm, "Its for my granpa."
"Why?"
"Because he taught me to play music so I wanted to have a drawing for him."
"So can I draw on my arms too?"
"No, no," he says quickly, "You can only draw on yourself when you're a grown up."
"Why?"
"Its the rules." he says smiling.
"Ohhh-kay." she sighs, "Are you Molly's boyfriend?"
"Yes I am."
"Do you kiss her?" she asks curiously.
"Uhh yeah." he says somewhat awkwardly.
"Like in Cinderella?"
"Yes, he's just like prince charming." Molly informs with a grin.
"But prince charming is really tall." the little girl informs.
"Oh burn!" Chaz laughs.
"I can still kick your a-" he stops himself short.
"Kick what?"
"His car tires." Frank mumbles, Molly just laughs.
"You're confusing." she says sliding off his lap.
"Close call there." Kim teases.
"Kick my tires huh?" Chaz taunts.
"Chaz, don't be a dick." Kim mumbles.