Iero Fiasco
Boobs
I'm glad to tell you, we've decided to fund your next album." the Warner Brother's Canada Music rep said to the girls of Warped Battery.
"Yes!" the three of them chant, even though they were pretty sure they'd get the funding anyway.
"Excuse me." A second rep says to Molly quietly as Jess and Tray start talking a mile a minute to the first rep, "Can I talk to you in private?"
"Sure." Molly says as they step out of the room.
"First of all congratulations," he says smoothly, "secondly, I love the image you and your band have got going, its great."
"Well thanks, but its not really an image, its just the way we like dressing."
"Of course," he says snake-like, "I just want to suggest one thing."
"Okay."
"Maybe some breast implants."
"WHAT?!" Molly exclaims, obviously pissed off.
"No, no, hear me out," he says trying to calm her, "Not like Pamlea Anderson implants, just you know, enough to go up a cup size. After all you are the front woman." Molly just stares at him speechless, "And with implants you can go braless, make a sort of 70s statement. Not to mention I'm sure you're boyfriend will apreciate them."
"You are sick!" She spits at him, "Make a 70s statement by going braless? That was about woman's liberation, and you want me to get implants that'll supposedly please my boyfriend and attract other sick mother fuckers? You have some serious fucking issues!"
"Hey, can't we find a compramise?"
"Fuck you!" Molly says nearing his face, "And for the record, my boyfriend loves me and boobs just they way they are." she shoves him before going back into the room to rant to her bandmates.
"That's hilarious." Frank says later on over the phone.
"No it isn't!" Molly pouts.
"Oh c'mon, 70's woman's liberation is getting boob implants." he cackles, "That's gotta be the stupidest thing I've heard all day."
"Thank you."
"So did they ask Jess and Tray to silcon themselves too?"
"No, just me. They've got decent sized chests and they're not the frontwoman."
"Yeah."
"You don't think I have small chest do you?" Molly mumbles.
"Compared to Pamela Anderson, yeah." he jokes.
"C'mon honestly."
"Molly, since when do you care what some asshole rep thinks?"
"I don't know." she says looking down at her chest.
"I love you, I love you're body, I love making love to you." Frank chants, "Ignore what that ass said, he's just trying to make a quick buck."
"Yeah."
"And those implants can cause like cancer and stuff."
"And stuff." she half-laughs.
"Changing the subject, how's recording going?"
"Well we went into studio for the first time yesterday," Frank somewhat grumbles, "We didn't get anything done, Ray thought it was more important to test out every single fucking guitar in the place so we didn't even record a single thing. Not to mention Mikey we being a fucking pre-madonna."
"Awe Frank, just calm down. I mean you may be all up and excited to record but maybe your bandmates wanna take it slow." she sort of giggles, "not everyone comes with Iero amounts of energy."
"So Iero is an adjective now?"
"I believe so."
"And Gerard's in his own little world, I mean, he's not taking anyone else's ideas."
"Maybe you should sit the boys down and have a heart to heart."
"The boys? Heart to heart?" Frank asks confused, "Stop being wisdomly-like."
"Sorry." Molly laughs.
"Yes!" the three of them chant, even though they were pretty sure they'd get the funding anyway.
"Excuse me." A second rep says to Molly quietly as Jess and Tray start talking a mile a minute to the first rep, "Can I talk to you in private?"
"Sure." Molly says as they step out of the room.
"First of all congratulations," he says smoothly, "secondly, I love the image you and your band have got going, its great."
"Well thanks, but its not really an image, its just the way we like dressing."
"Of course," he says snake-like, "I just want to suggest one thing."
"Okay."
"Maybe some breast implants."
"WHAT?!" Molly exclaims, obviously pissed off.
"No, no, hear me out," he says trying to calm her, "Not like Pamlea Anderson implants, just you know, enough to go up a cup size. After all you are the front woman." Molly just stares at him speechless, "And with implants you can go braless, make a sort of 70s statement. Not to mention I'm sure you're boyfriend will apreciate them."
"You are sick!" She spits at him, "Make a 70s statement by going braless? That was about woman's liberation, and you want me to get implants that'll supposedly please my boyfriend and attract other sick mother fuckers? You have some serious fucking issues!"
"Hey, can't we find a compramise?"
"Fuck you!" Molly says nearing his face, "And for the record, my boyfriend loves me and boobs just they way they are." she shoves him before going back into the room to rant to her bandmates.
"That's hilarious." Frank says later on over the phone.
"No it isn't!" Molly pouts.
"Oh c'mon, 70's woman's liberation is getting boob implants." he cackles, "That's gotta be the stupidest thing I've heard all day."
"Thank you."
"So did they ask Jess and Tray to silcon themselves too?"
"No, just me. They've got decent sized chests and they're not the frontwoman."
"Yeah."
"You don't think I have small chest do you?" Molly mumbles.
"Compared to Pamela Anderson, yeah." he jokes.
"C'mon honestly."
"Molly, since when do you care what some asshole rep thinks?"
"I don't know." she says looking down at her chest.
"I love you, I love you're body, I love making love to you." Frank chants, "Ignore what that ass said, he's just trying to make a quick buck."
"Yeah."
"And those implants can cause like cancer and stuff."
"And stuff." she half-laughs.
"Changing the subject, how's recording going?"
"Well we went into studio for the first time yesterday," Frank somewhat grumbles, "We didn't get anything done, Ray thought it was more important to test out every single fucking guitar in the place so we didn't even record a single thing. Not to mention Mikey we being a fucking pre-madonna."
"Awe Frank, just calm down. I mean you may be all up and excited to record but maybe your bandmates wanna take it slow." she sort of giggles, "not everyone comes with Iero amounts of energy."
"So Iero is an adjective now?"
"I believe so."
"And Gerard's in his own little world, I mean, he's not taking anyone else's ideas."
"Maybe you should sit the boys down and have a heart to heart."
"The boys? Heart to heart?" Frank asks confused, "Stop being wisdomly-like."
"Sorry." Molly laughs.