Lament

Alphonse was sitting in his bed, twirling a long piece of black hair in his fingers, staring at his wall, when I awoke. He hadn't noticed that I'd turned towards him or even woken up, so I watched him for a moment. He looked lost in thought, but there was something of a serene expression painted on his face. This could be how it is, I couldn't help but think. This could be the way it could be every morning. Except it couldn't. Because I was not engaged to Alphonse and would never be. I took in a deep breath and he noticed my presence and smiled. "Tell me what happened when you got to Paris?" I asked.

Abruptly, Alphonse stopped playing with his hair and dropped the strand. "I...well I just sort of wandered around for a day. There was little I could do. I had no connections in Paris and did not even know the language. I tried to refrain from spending the money I had, because I knew it would not go far in Paris. I told myself that I was searching for Charles, and I was keeping my eyes peeled for any sign of him. It was no use, he wasn't there. At that time of course I did not know that, but I had a feeling that he would have just been passing through. Also, back then I just thought that Charles was running away to hide himself, I did not think he was trying to find a way to continue his dark plan. Either way, by that night I was exhausted from walking and found myself in a small, ruddy bar in a seedier part of town. I was starving, but couldn't remember how to order food, so I sat at one of the tables in the back, pitying myself profusely.

"It was then that I was joined by an older gentleman. He was, by some miracle, English, and the first thing he asked was if I was any relation to Charles Wainwright. Astonished, I told him that I was Alphonse Wainwright, the man's son. The gentleman introduced himself as Nathaniel Renshaw, the Earl of Blackpool." Alphonse looked down at me and smiled, and I knew I must have looked stunned. "Nathaniel - for he bade me call him so - sat down and asked me what I was doing in this bar, in Paris of all places, when he knew that the Wainwright's ancestral home was in the Northumberland region. I explained that I was looking for my father, who I said had disappeared some years before. Nathaniel had not been in London for some years, of course, and did not know that I was lying. I told him that I had foolishly come to France when I did not know the language and did not have any connections in town. Nathaniel looked delighted at this. He said that he would take me under his wing and he would help me find my father.

"I couldn't refuse, of course, even though I knew involving him would be dangerous. He took me to his rooms, had me fed, and called for a friend of his, a Monsieur LaMont. LaMont was something of an unsavory character, but he made note of any foreigners who came into town. He even knew about me. Right away I knew he could tell me about Charles. And indeed he did. Charles had stayed for a few hours and had gone to a couple houses at the edge of town. He visited one of the finer restaraunts in town but did not stay the night. He had departed late the night prior towards the South East. LaMont, for a price of course, gave me the adresses of the house Charles had visited. Nathaniel came with me, and although he seemed suspicious of my vague story explaining my father's departure, he did not press it. At least, not then. When I called upon the people, most seemed very hesitant to meet me, even when I told them who I was. That's when I realized that there was more to Charles's departure than I'd previously thought. That's when I realized he wasn't giving up. Thankfully, one of them did seem sympathetic to me and said that Charles had heard of a gypsy camp practicing alchemy in the South of France along La Cote D'Azur.

"Nathaniel and I went as quickly as I could and along the way, I grew to trust my new companion. He'd helped me in my dire time of need and he was helping me find Charles. I found myself telling him the story of my unusual birth, what exactly I was, about how when you had come to Deathcreeke, about my sickness and about the Night of the Blood Moon. Nathaniel believed me at once, and I was relieved. The story is a little more than fantastic, and I'd been nervous that he might think me crazy and abandon me. Nathaniel explained that as a boy, he'd been told the old stories of alchemy and had always been a secret believer. It was a part of the reason, he thought, that he did not fit in with society. That was when he started to tell me more about himself. I learned that he'd always been something of a dreamer and longed to be an adventurer. His family, while not exactly keen on indulging his fantasies, did not mind that he was not fit to be an Earl, for he had an older brother who was everything their parents could ever dream of.

"Then his brother died and suddenly, Nathaniel was being forced into lessons and classes to become a respectable Earl. His parents no longer found his ideas of sailing the seven seas charming or even interesting; they told him to squash those hopes forever. They arranged for him to be married to the woman who was going to marry his older brother. Not long after the wedding, his father passed and Nathaniel became the Earl of Blackpool. Soon after that, Nathaniel's wife, Renee, who he had fallen in love with, despite their arranged marriage, became pregnant. As Nathaniel began to think of life as a father, he discovered that he found joy in these thoughts. His love of his wife and his upcoming fatherhood was his solace in a life where he was only a mediocre Earl. But Renee had the baby much too early and the baby was born stillbirth. Renee followed him swiftly from losing so much blood. After that, even after protests from his mother, Nathaniel departed from London for the very last time. It was, if I do recall, right around the time when your father married your mother.

"I did ask Nathaniel if, when he had found out what my blood could do, had entertained thoughts of using me to bring back his wife or son or brother. Nathaniel simply laughed and said no. He told me that life was a circle that moved only in one direction, and to tamper with that would only bring pain. I thought of my mother and Prince Morgenstern then, and I realized I never had found out what happened to them." Alphonse stopped speaking for a moment and looked down at me. "Knowing what has happened to Prince only makes me feel certain that Nathaniel was right in what he said. While knowing my mother lives gives me great joy, knowing that others have suffered because of me is almost unbearable..."

I could say nothing except, "I'm sorry," even though I had nothing to be sorry for. The words just sounded right when I said them and Alphonse nodded absentmindedly.

"We found the gypsy camp that our contact in Paris had mentioned and traded Nathaniel's signet ring - the only thing of value that we had with us, besides our horses - for a couple nights of shelter. Mostly they spoke Romani amongst themselves and looked untrustworthy of us, sometimes they would speak French. Nathaniel would translate for me. I asked them questions about Charles and about alchemy, but it was only after two days that they finally started answering.

"Charles was searching for a way to make a perfect homunculi and that this tribe had refused to help him or tell him. You see, the practicing of alchemy is strictly against what their God says they can and cannot do, which is why this tribe was so isolated. Other tribes shunned them for their heathen ways. This specific tribe had begun to try and perfect a homunculi, but then we learned that a terrible disease had swept through the tribe and had killed a third of their people. They saw it as a sign from God that they must stop dabbling in alchemy. So they had. They would not even tell us how to do it, even when I told them that I was the Philosopher's Stone. They did say that they had told Charles to continue onward to a city called Makkah-al-Mukarrama, or simply Mecca. Before the birth of the Islamic religion, the city had been one of the wealthiest and avanced cities in the entire world. The gypsies, or Rom, as they called themselves, attributed this wealth and prosperity to alchemy and had told Charles that there might still be scrolls on the subjects in the city's extensive librarires.

"So we continued on to Mecca, which we found out was located in Eurasia. Along our journey we stopped in some of the most beautiful cities I'd ever seen...we traveled through France down into the Italian city states and then back up through the Austrian Empire and back down into the Ottoman Empire. As we traveled farther and farther away, Nathaniel told me stories of his voyages into Prussia, Russia and even the Orient. We began to collect our own stories as well, through the people we met and the cities we passed through. Nathaniel became to me something like a second father, and I knew I was like a son to him. In Vienna, he told me that he had written a letter to his lawyers back in England, stating that he was no longer heirless and that he had discovered a bastard son of his while on a journey. 'Bastard' though I was, I was still his rightful heir. Nathaniel told me that he was not much longer for the world and that when he died, I would become the Earl of Blackpool.

"I was...shocked, to say the least. I knew nothing of being an Earl. I told him that. I had been locked in the North Wing of Deathcreeke Manor my entire life and that this was the first time I'd ever left the shores of jolly old England. So Nathaniel began to teach me all he knew. While he said he was a mediocre Earl, I soon discovered that Nathaniel was a brilliant mathmetician. I was nowhere near as good, of course, but he taught me as much as he could. He taught me how to fit in easily in polite society even while feeling completely alienated. I was a fast learner. By the time we reached Mecca, Nathaniel knew I was ready to become the Earl. It was a good, thing, too, for as soon as we got to Mecca, Nathaniel died." Alphonse stopped talking here and once again, his eyes took on a misty expression.

I felt my hand come over his. "How awful for you," I murmured.

Alphonse smiled, but did not respond directly to my comment. "That journey had taken us three months, for we had rode hard during the day and stayed not long when we rested. I always thought I caught glimpses of Charles sometimes when we rode, but I knew that had to be impossible. I felt much different than I had when I'd first arrived in Paris. For now, even though I knew no one and had no connections, I did not feel at all lost or helpless. I did not speak the language but found the libraries easily. I searched for Charles in every single one, but he eluded me. Until, of course, one fine morning when I was down in the marketplace. I saw him. For a moment I wanted to rush up to him, but my emotions were all strange and confused. For a moment I felt joy that I'd found him, joy because this was my father and he'd been the one person I'd trusted and relied on for eighteen years. But then the image of your face came into my mind and I knew this man was no father of mine. I followed him quietly until I saw him reach his horse. Then, I rushed back through the marketplace to get my own horse. I'd already buried Nathaniel in the Islamic tradition, as he'd asked. I paid the man who'd kept my horse for me and rode fast. Charles had already departed, but I could see his horse in the caravan of people leaving the city.

"I followed him to the port city of Jeddah, where he boarded a ship bound for Ireland. This time, I knew I must be cautious and I boarded a ship bound for Ireland the next day. The voyage itself took three months. Upon the ship, the HMS Harmony, I met a party of people, the Sheridan and the Lewiston families, who had been taking a vaction in Greece and had decided to venture down into the Ottoman Empire. They were from London and were very pleased to find out that I was the new Earl of Blackpool. They were something like social climbers, I believe, and my title and rank were attractive to them. It was the perfect opportunity to perfect my skills and in the process, I gained my first connections in London. The Sheridans, of course, had a daughter, Rose, of almost marriagable age, and they enjoyed thrusting her upon me whenever possible. However, she confided in me that she had fallen desperatley in love with the young captain of the ship. Her parents, I knew, would not agree to the match, so I went out of my way to befriend the captain of the ship and told him that once we reached London, I would put in a good word with the House of Lords and the Naval Office. I did, of course, and last I heard, the man was promoted to Commodore, on his way to becomming an Admiral. Well, when the girl's parents heard that I liked the capain so much and was going to put in a good word, they gave their consent to the match. They were married en route to Ireland."

I smiled at this. "What a lovely story," I told Alphonse.

"I thought you'd like that one," he answered. He took in a breath. "Either way, I lost Charles for a few days when we reached Galway. I said my adieu's to the Sheridans and the Lewistons, who were taking a carriage to Dublin and then would be leaving as soon as they could for London for Rose's debut into society. Thankfully I was finally in a country of which I spoke the language, and I managed to ask around town. People had seen a man who looked like me, but he had left as soon as he came in to the East. I followed him immedietly, and from there it seemed almost the same sort of chase I'd carried on when I'd first started after him after I left Deathcreeke. I asked anyone I could until one day, I reached a small town. The people there said that they'd seen a man who looked like me disappear into the forest. I knew this would be where I might finally be able to confront him. Even though the townsfolk said that the forest was guarded by the Fair Folk, I cared little."

"You were in my mother's hometown." My voice was a bit shocked, but I shouldn't have been surprised that Alphonse managed to follow him all the way to the small town where Fiona Brighton had grown up as Fiona Moore. "Charles went to the forest and tricked my mother's faerie parents into revealing the secret of the faeries to him."

Apparantley, Alphonse didn't know this, for he glanced at me curiously. "Truly? For I just tried to follow him into the forest, but I searched for three days and found no trace of him whatsoever. I never discovered what he was doing in there or why."

I nodded. "Charles discovered that the hearts of faeries do not decay. I was told that he was planning to plant the seed of a mandrake plant into my mother's heart - for he dug up her castkett," at this, I could not supress a shudder, "and water it with your blood. From there a perfect replica of my mother would be born."

Something dawned in Alphonse's eyes. "I see...that explains many things. In Mecca, while searching the libraries, I read how the ancient alchemists believed a homunculi could be created. The seed of the mandrake root would be planted and then it would be watered with blood. Whomevers blood it was watered with, the mandrake would grow into a living doll of that person. Like your mother; it looked her but had no human intelligence. A doll. I was confused, because I knew your mother was dead and buried and was curious as to how Charles would have gotten your mother's blood. But he must have taken some from her bo-" Alphonse stopped then, for my body felt quite cold. "Oh, I'm sorry. I should have realized that this would have upset you."

I shook my head. "Tell me, what happened after Ireland?" I questioned.

Alphonse looked to the ceiling. "Let me think...ah yes. I had lost Charles in Ireland. I stayed there for awhile until I got word from the caretaker of Nathaniel's Estate that Parliament would soon be in session. It asked if I would be in attendence. When Nathaniel left London he abandoned Parliament. I wasn't sure if I would go to London, for I was still on the search for Charles and I did not wish to abandon the search. I stayed in Ireland for a few more days, when I recieved a letter from the Monsieur LaMont in Paris. He wrote that a man, most certainly from England, was in Paris and was visiting the exact same addresses that Charles had visited when he was in Paris. I'd given word to LaMont that Nathaniel had died, and as a favor for him, he discovered what had transpired between the strange newcomer and the people Charles had once visited.

"Monsieur LaMont told me that this man had told one of the people in town that Charles was in London and had discovered the secret of making perfect homunuculi. This person was keeping Charles at their house while he waited and experimented and planned."

"So you know who it is?" I asked, breathless.

Alphonse shook his head. "No. The man who visited the houses was a repersentative of the person with which Charles is staying. LaMont also told me that when he visited these people, he saw the same insignia on much of the furniture in their houses. The sign of the Illuminata. The Illuminata who have, for centuries, been looking for the Philosopher's Stone. Apparantley Charles was promising to lead them to the stone when the homunculi were perfected. In return, no one would speak of where Charles was being hidden. That was, of course, the one thing LaMont could not pry from any of these people's lips. Not even the man who was sympathetic to me when Nathaniel and I visited. The man who paid him a visit must have done something to assure his secrecy..."

"But Charles will never give you up to the Illuminata. He wants you for himself."

Alphonse nodded to my comment. "But the Illuminata doesn't know that. It doesn't even know that I am the stone. And then of course, there was Guillame de Sidonie, a member of the Illuminata who had grown up with the same alchemical stories and knew that to make homunculi was an act against God. They are abominations. So he went to your Lord Jules, who also knew the stories. Jules then went to Wren Morgenstern, for he knew she had something to do with the Philosopher's Stone. He didn't know what, but he told her what he knew. Then she came to you. You know the rest. But when I read the letter from LaMont, I came to London immedietly and told Nathaniel's Estate Manager that I would be in town for the Season. Then there was simply the act of hiring Jeremy, who in turned hired the staff of my town house and country estates. And here I am."

I swallowed. "But I don't understand. Shortly before the Night of the Blood Moon, Glenn Morgenstern told me that there were rumors of homunculi being created in town. This couldn't have been Charles, for Charles hadn't left yet..."

Alphonse raised an eyebrow. "Then I suppose that whomever is hiding Charles has an agenda of their own. The only question is, who could it be?"

I turned my head towards the window and imagined a pair of green wings. "I don't know. But I know someone who is trying to find out..."