Lament

The next morning during a particularly riveting game of croquet, Wren pulled me aside, latched our arms and started to walk parallel to the forest, where only last night I had had that strange encounter with the Faerie Jaedo. "My God," Wren drawled as we walked away from the shouts and the claps, "men do just love hearing themselves be praised." She was speaking, of course, about the croquet game. Although there was no rule saying women couldn't play, it just simply wouldn't do. We would sit on the sidelines and clap and cheer flirtatiously. It bored me to tears...nevermind the fact that I hated the shouts that Alphonse recieved from a few pretty young girls whose ears I would have loved to box.

"Ah yes, but something tells me there is something more consequential to this walk than mere chatter," I replied and Wren did an incredibly out-of-character action. She grinned. Ecstatically. I couldn't fathom what could make her so excited.

"I just recieved word from Jules. He has been initiated into the Illuminata. He is now a part of the brotherhood. We should soon hear as to who exactly has been harboring Charles."

I made a noise in my throat. Just the word Charles involuntarily made me think of Alphonse. "Wren, have you ever considered the fact that...maybe Charles isn't in London? What if all these rumors of homunculi are simply rumors? What if they've been circulated by a friend of Charles who wishes us to lose his trail? Who wishes Alphonse to lose his trail?"

Wren sighed, and I knew she had thought of this. Honestly, the thought hadn't even occured to me before now, but it wasn't as if I'd seen a homunculi. I didn't even know how they were made. Of course I'd heard the legend from my alchemy-loving grandfather who had told me of the Mandrake plant. How it somehow grew artificial humans called homunculi. And I remembered from a garden party I'd attended at the Morgensterns, they had a row of Mandrake plants. Prince had told me it was all a legend, so what was a homunculi, really? "I have thought of that...often, in fact. But what can we do? I cannot let Charles run around, free, anymore. He tried to kill his son, you...and he succeeded in killing his wife..." She paused, and for a moment, I truly believe she really did care that Charles had tried to kill me. "But most importantly, Charles is the reason that Prince is the way he is right now."

A sigh left my body. This was true. If Charles hadn't been so insane, none of this wouldn't have happened. He wouldn't have tried to kill his son on the Night of the Blood Moon. He wouldn't have almost shot him when we escaped. He wouldn't have accidentally killed Lily. Prince wouldn't have felt he had to be some hero to impress Alphonse, he wouldn't have felt the need to try and save her. "But now with Alphonse back, can't he help Prince?" I questioned.

Wren did smile, faintly. "Yes, yes, well I'll have to ask him. I'll need to be diplmotic, you know. He's going to be helping us from now on, by the way. He's going to pass all information he gets on Charles to us, he is going to meet with us at various social events, he is going to try and become friendly with Illuminata members...and when I mentioned Jules being initiated, Alphonse said he would be more than willing to join."

My stomach absolutely dropped and my face twisted into something horrific. "How could you?" I gasped, dropping her arm quickly, as if she was diseased. But then I remembered...how could she have known what had happened between us the night prior? Still, though, she knew what Alphonse had been to me...she knew that he had left me...how he had come back so easily.

"Oh, of course, right, he broke your heart, I'd quite forgotten. Well you'll simply need to move on. I thought an engagement between you and Jules was imminent, anyhow. He mentioned it specifically in his letter." But her face betrayed her. She hadn't forgotten. Her mouth had twisted up into a sneer, and she was looking angry. I understood that she'd been wanting to bring this up all this time...the supposed engagement that was about to form between Jules and I.

"You did that on purpose...you talked to Alphonse and you probably asked him to join us, when you know what happened between us. I bet you even heard our conversation last night." Wren was silent and fury was etched into her eyes. I stopped walking. "Why?" I questioned. "Why would you do that to me? Because of some nonexistent engagement between Jules and myself? I understand that he is your childhood friend, but you didn't have the same reaction when you found out Prince wished to be married to me."

Wren set her mouth in a firm line. "You're acting ridiculous, Fae. I did nothing on purpose. You'll just have to move on from that silly crush of yours." She looked behind me and spotted something beyond my shoulder. "Besides, I think Alphonse is getting quite cozy with a certain Miss Lanette Dalrymple."

Anger and a stupid, unecessary pain swelled up from the bottom of my stomach into my throat and I turned to see Alphonse teaching Miss Dalrymple how to knock a croquet mallet. I could feel my hands clench into fists, and I turned back, intending to shoot back a remark about how I didn't care what Alphonse was doing with Miss Dal-hideous. But Wren had already walked away, her retreating form looking both dangerous and beautiful at the same time.

Aggravated, I made my way back to the circle, where Mrs. Landry and Victoria were sitting. I was happy enough to escape to a place where my problems were silly and small in comparison to my friend's, I returned to my wicker chair next to Victoria.

It was easy to simply dwell on her problems, it was so simple to just lament about Mr. Smythe. All these obstacles in the path of my own life were not life-threatening, save for the fact that somewhere, out there, Charles waited to try and steal my body. Victoria, however, was to be at the hands of a pervert and a suspected murderer. Charles was insane of course, but I could never truly call him perverted. Any time he had crossed the line between guardian and...something more, he had always felt intense remorse about it. I doubted Mr. Smythe was similar.

Victoria smiled and laughed along with everyone else, and for once, even her eyes looked happy. She was easy to read that it sometimes disconcerted me. Her eyes could be so far away...

Suddenly, she turned to me. "Did you and Wren just have a row? Because you looked quite upset as you were walking over here." I didn't answer at first. Honestly, I didn't know what to say. I couldn't explain the situation to Victoria, which hurt, because she was my closest friend and she would have been sympathetic towards me, and she would have listened, and she would have understood. But I could say nothing. "Oh, I know, I'm probably being terribly impolite," Victoria apologized, embarassed.

"No!" I exclaimed. "No, you aren't. I'm just unsure as to how to answer that question. Did we have a row? Sort of...I don't know. She's terribly difficult to predict. One moment I believe we are friends and the next, I do not know what to do." But I'd come over here to escape my problem with her, not to dwell on it, so I took a deep breath. "She did tell me that she recieved a letter from Jules Haverford."

"Ah," winked Victoria. "The dashing Viscount of Farnsworth?" she asked.

Flushing, I nodded. "Yes. He sort of...mentioned that he might be proposing marriage to me soon." As soon as the words started, they couldn't stop. "But you cannot tell a soul!" I exclaimed, but I knew that it was too late. Victoria's cheeks had swelled and she let out a huge amount of air in a large whoosh.

"Oh my dear lord," she said, grabbing my hands. "You, Faerie Brighton, Viscountess of Farnsworth." My stomach turned a bit, I knew Mrs. Landry had overheard that bit. She looked surprised. She opened her mouth to say something, but Victoria started first. "Don't say anything Mama, it's not official, she hasn't been asked. But Lord Farnsworth said in a letter to Wren Morgenstern that he is going to propose marriage to Faerie."

However, she couldn't have been any less quiet. Before I knew it, the entire party had heard what had been said and I was flushing. I hoped Jules did not mind if people knew...I didn't know if I was supposed to know, but Wren had told me, so it really wasn't my fault. I'd just pass the blame along to her if he asked. What could I do, really? It had simply slipped.

The look that Alphonse gave me, however, put all my guilt back in its proper place. It was not angry, nor was it disapproving. The look on his face was simply heartbroken...as if what I had told him last night had just been make believe. Maybe it had seemed that way, because I had spoken of Jules as a vague and distant future...and all of a sudden that future was crashing all around him. Around me. Around us. The look he gave me made me want to scream that it wasn't true, that I loved Alphonse and Alphonse only.

But I loved Alphonse Wainwright. Not Alphonse Renshaw. And that was the god-honest truth.

Throughout the rest of the day, all the young women with whom I had debuted with endlessly attacked me with questions on the marriage. With a flush, I found myself repeating that he had not proposed yet, and I didn't even know if he really was going to, or if Wren his letter wrong. They still insisted on babbling about the wedding, imploring me not to have a long engagement, asking if they were to be invited, what dress I would be wearing...all these foolish questions. Everytime another girl came up to me, I threw a glare at Victoria, who would simply shrug and smile sheepishly. I wasn't truly mad at her for accidentally letting everyone know, but still, it would have been easier if she had just kept quiet.

After our fateful walk that morning, Wren had disappeared and I did not see Glenn until much after dinner.

I did finally meet up with him in the late afternoon, while the other guests were lazing about. He was flipping through a book in the library and was looking particularly pensieve as I caught up with him. "I didn't picture you as much of a reader," I said quietly as I approached.

Glenn snapped the book and looked up at me with a raised eyebrow. "And there she is, the future Viscountess of Farnsworth." I flushed and opened my mouth to defend myself - for his words sounded so much like an accusation that it hurt - but Glenn simply chuckled. "Wren is having an absolute fit. I find it quite amusing. Truly, Fae, you should feel pleased. You are the only person who can make my cousin fall apart at the seams."

I blanched. "What do you mean?" I asked. Glenn took my elbow and steered me out of the library.

"Only that she is terribly jealous of you, you know." Flashing him a curious look, Glenn sighed and went on. "Honestly Faerie, sometimes you can be a little dim-witted. Look at all the different men you have recieved attentions from in your life. Mr. Rupert Townshend, who is a man with good connections - save his committed mother - and good social standing. Mr. Isaac Ewanthorpe, who, while not all that interesting or rich, was still an upstanding gentleman. My own cousin, Prince. Wren thought she knew all of his secrets, but he told his deepest to you. And then of course, her closest childhood companion, Jules Haverford, a man who she thought she was in confidence with. Wren didn't even know you two had formed an attachment." He paused. "You have had attention from four good gentleman, two of which Wren believes are her...hm, how do I say this? Well, she believes Prince and Jules are her 'property'."

A grimace made its way across my face. "Jealousy, of course, I should have known. Wren doesn't like that Prince and Jules had and have relationships with me that she didn't really know about."

"Exactly."

"But can't she see that I don't truly care about any of these men? Well, I mean, of course I care about Prince, he is one of my closest friends...and Jules, he is such a good man...but Glenn..." I trailed off.

Glenn smiled. "Oh yes, of course, I understand. You only really have feelings for Alphonse Wainwright."

"Yes, so I don't understand why she is so upset," I replied.

Rolling his eyes, Glenn dropped my arm. "Open your eyes, Fae." With that, he walked away and I realized that we were standing right outside my chamber. I watched his retreating form with disdain for a moment. In that moment, I wished Prince were here. Out of all the Morgensterns, he had been the only one who I had truly been able to call my friend. The others were flighty and fickle and I couldn't understand if they liked me or hated me. What should I care? my mind lashed out, but I knew even without explanation, I cared about what the Morgensterns thought of me. I wanted Wren to like me.

Disregarding Glenn's words, I walked into my room. The first thing I noticed were the green wings - something that was becoming quite familiar. Jaedo stood in my room, back to me as always, looking out the window.

"I have news," he said quietly, his voice like gravel.

I realized quickly that his form in my room did not instill the same fear in me as it had before. I was becoming used to him showing up unexpectedly. Strangely, I found I almost liked his company. While I still was frightened to see his face, he was an ally to me and me alone. He did not visit Glenn and Wren did not even know of him. He was my secret, and having that gave me a power over Wren Morgenstern. "Yes?" I asked carefully.

"I heard your discussion with Miss Wren Morgenstern this morning," Jaedo told me and I wrinkled my brow.

"You were eaves-dropping on me?" I questioned. Jaedo turned his head a little so I could see a faint smile on his cherry lips. "Fine then, I suppose I cannot stop you, you will do what you do. What of my discussion with Wren?"

Jaedo moved away from the window, and gust of warm air blew in from outside. I did not recall it being windy today and shivered, dispite the warmth. "You were unsure whether Charles was in London or not, and interestingly enough, that got me curious. So I traveled to London in search of him. And I found him."

My stomach shifted. "Truly? So you know who is staying with? You know who is keeping him safe from the others while he makes homunculi?" I asked.

A laugh rumbled from the green faerie who stood in my room. "No. I saw him at the cemetary. He was standing at your mother's grave." At that, my stomach shifted even more. "I believe he is going to try and dig up your mother's caskett."

My body went cold. "Why?" I asked.

"Charles has found out the secret of faerie's," he responded. "Our hearts do not decay. He is going to embed the seed of a mandrake plant into your mother's heart and plant it. Then, when he gets Alphonse, he will water the plant with his blood, the Philosopher's Stone. And from the plant will grow a perfect replica of your mother. He was excited to learn of the secret. He had to travel all the way back to your mother's town, he had to confer with her parents, her faerie parents. He gained their trust, he tricked them into telling him of the secret of the sidhe."

"How...how do you know all of this?" My throat was unbelievably dry, and even though I swallowed and repeatedly licked my lips, wetness would not come.

"I heard his thoughts."

"You what?"

Jaedo shrugged. "I heard his thoughts. If I wish I can invade the thoughts of another person. That's how I gave you those dreams of me. I am a faerie, Princess, it is what we do."

"My mother wouldn't have done that," I replied, anger rising to my throat. But why should I defend my mother? She had betrayed my trust, she had lied to me...she had consorted with Charles Wainwright, she had had a child by him...

"Your mother was of the Seelie Court. The Holy Court. I am of the Unseelie Court, the Unholy Court." He was quiet for a moment. "I have said too much."

"No, wait, please, there is still so much I do not know. Who are you? Why are you helping me?" Jaedo was silent, but did not move. I sighed. "Fine, if you cannot tell me that, please tell me what the mirror that my mother left for me is. I know she left it, but I do not understand why."

Jaedo straightened up, and I caught the sense that he was feeling indignant. "Your mother did not leave you that. I did. And I trust you still have it, because I gave it specifically to you so Charles wouldn't come back to the house looking for it. It is enchanted, if you didn't already know. With it you can talk with your mother's faerie parents. It was the gift her mother and father gave to her so she could keep in touch with them. They watched over her while she was in Ireland, but once she left, the mirror was all she had of them."

"And what of the White Woman? The one who screamed on the Night of the Blood Moon?" I questioned, already feeling a strange lightness in my heart now I knew what the mirror was. It felt satisfying to finally have some answers, instead of just question after question.

Jaedo laughed. "That, Princess, is a story for a different day."

And with that, he was gone.