Consciousness and Confidence

"The sun is going to burn me!" I yelled, as I was being forcefully dragged from Matt's car. He was tugging me out by the legs, as I struggled to keep a grip on the door frame with my hands.

Just then a hand shot from next to Matt and tickled me right underneath my arm. I let out shrieks of laughter, and had no choice but to surrender myself, to stop the tickling. "Okay, okay. I give in."

"Thanks Jimmy." Matt smiled, as he pulled me to my feet. "She was begining to get annoying." I scowled and slapped my brother over the back of the head. "Ouch! God damnit, Ryyan. That hurt!"

I reajusted the pants that I was wearing, seeing as how they had been tugged farther down a bit. "Good, it was suppose to."

Matt gave me a grumpy look, and opened his mouth to retaliate when Brian stepped in between us. "Hey, lets go over there!"

I smirked at my brother has he rubbed his head and grumbled something while walking away. He deserved to be grumpy for dragging me to the beach with him. I would have much rathered stay home and read by the pool.

A beach breeze blew my hair straight into my face, and I squinted my eyes in reaction. I turned them over to the beach that lay before me. Johnny and Matt had walked ahead to a sunny spot uninhabited by the random people scattered out over the area. A few of them were in the water, just floating around while others sat and bathed in the sun's rays. I breathed heavily.

Jimmy had gone over to his car, which he had driven here himself when Matt informed him of our plans. I could hear his feet slapping against the paved parking lot. "How sweet of you two to wait here for me!" he cooed, making me suddenly aware to the body next to me.

Who else could it be but Brian? I glanced his way with a sideways smile, and he returned it with a warm one. That is, until Jimmy decided to ruffle both of our heads, causing similiar annoyed expressions to appear.

"No problem." I replied while flattening out my hair. "Lets not repay me like that again, eh?"

"Sure, whatever Ry." he shushed, grabbing me by the wrist and dragging me in the direction of where Matt and Johnny had layed down a towel. Instinctively, I took a backwards peek to make sure Brian was following us, at the same time hoping he didn't see me. Unfortunately, he had been looking at Jimmy and I's retreating forms when I peeked, causing him to send me an arrogant smirk.

He probably thought he was such hot shit after the way he treated me yesterday. He probably thought he had me in the palm of his hand now, wooing me with his fancy words and unexpected actions. Well, he didn't. I wasn't about to let Brian think he had the upper hand on me. Sure, I might have unconsciously accepted that he has changed, but that was irrelevant in this situation.

I just looked back at where Jimmy was pulling me, to see that we had made it to the towel in the sand. I kicked off my flip-flops carelessly, and plopped myself down in the sandy blanket. I could hear the guys moving around me as I squinted my eyes and stared up at the blue clouds in the sky. I just sat there and tried to make an object out of one of the clouds.

I felt the towel move a bit, and I knew someone was laying down on my right side, but I chose to ignore them. I knew that scent anywhere, and if he thought he was going to make me mushy because he chose to lay down next to me, he had another thing coming. Instead of agknowledging his presence, I reached my hands towards the sky, and and swept them through the air.

I heard a chuckle come from next to me. "What are you doing?"

"I'm moving the clouds together, Brian." I explained, never stopping the flowing motions of my hands. I had been doing this since I was little. I laid on my back, and used my hands to act as if I was pushing the clouds together. I've done it everytime I come to the beach. The tradition wasn't about to change just because the guys were around.

"Does that work?" he questioned, again.

"Yes." I replied, concentrating on the white blobs above me. "Look! See that one just moved closer to that one there!" I pointed to the cloud that had indeed moved a bit closer to the one to its right, just like I had wanted.

Brain was laughing at my childishness. I couldn't hear him laughing, but I felt the vibration off the fabric beneathe us. "Okay, Ryyan. You keep thinking that now."

Offended, I glanced over at him with a frown. "Yes, it does. I've been doing it for years!" I defended. Just then Matt, came into view behind Brian's head, taking something out of the cooler we had brought. "Matt!" I called. "Tell Brian that moving the clouds is possible."

My brother just looked up at me, and then to Brian who was obviously giving a disbelieving look. Matt grinned wildly. "It's better to just let her believe, man. I won't ruin it for her."

My mouth dropped open. "Matt!" I shrieked. "You use to do it too! Don't act all mature now, a week ago we were doing it at home together!" All of the guys began to crack up around us as this information was divulged. I smiled in triumph.

"Nice, Matt." Johnny teased. "Will you move one of them to block out the sun for a few minutes for me? I'm getting a little burnt."

If only he wasn't so far away, I swear Matt was blushing. Damn my bad eye sight in the sun. "Shut up Short-Shit." he grumbled.

I looked around, from Brian a foot away from me on the top of the towel, to Jimmy laying sidways across it's bottom, to Matt now begining to sit on his very own towel, to Johnny playing with the sand. Then it dawned on me. "Hey guys?" I was answered with many different grunts from around me. "Where's Zacky?"

"He's at baseball." Jimmy muttered, sounding as if he was about to fall asleep. Matt grunted, agreeing with Jimmy's statement.

I closed my eyes, a bit puzzled. "I didn't know Zacky played baseball." I mumbled. I was sure no one had really heard me, until Brian muttered back a reply.

"There's a lot about us that you don't really know."

I opened my mouth to respond, when I was cut off by another familiar voice. "Ryyan! Hey!"

My eye lids lifted and I peered to my side, where the voice came from, to see Cale walking closer to me. I smiled a bit to myself and sat up. "Hey Cale."

He glanced around at all the guys surrounding me, who were now all staring at him. This situation could possibly become very weird for him. "Uhm, what are you doing here?" he questioned, his awkwardness now showing. Too late, I guess.

"I'm just hanging here with my brother, Matt," I gestured to him. He gave Cale a dirty look and I coughed uncomfortably. "and these guys are his friends. They decided to drag me to beach afterschool."

He nodded, understanding. "Cool, I'm just here with some of my friends. Hey-" he pointed towards me. "Is that my shirt?"

I looked down to see that I had indeed grabbed Cale's shirt to wear to the beach today. I looked over to see Brian also glancing at my shirt, not exactly with a happy look. "So, you're the guy from the party?" Jimmy questioned, sitting up now.

Cale rubbed the back of his neck. "Uhm, yeah. I guess I am." He laughed.

"Oh."

All of us had fallen into a silence that didn't feel the slightest bit comfortable. Cale broke it quickly. "Oh! Ry, I wanted to invite you to a party this weekend."

Now I could feel a bunch of stares directed at me. A party? Maybe parties weren't a good idea. "Really?" I responded, hesitantly.

"Yeah, it's at my friend Kyle's house. It's going to be really sick." I nodded, flashing him a smile. It was an encouragement to keep talking. "Of course, your brother and his friends are invited too." he added.

"That's nice of you, Cale. Thank you." I said. "I'll see if I can go." Now that definitely earned me some stares from Matt.

"Oh, tell JayJay she's most definitely invited also." he commanded, his smile growing even larger.

Mine tightened sadly, but I tried my best not to show it. "Oh." It came out a little less enthusiatic then I wanted. "I'll tell her later."

"Okay, great." He smiled, begining to step farther away from our little beach area. "I'll see you at school tomorrow, then."

"Bye, Cale." I waved as he turned around. Once he was far enough, I breathed out a deep sigh, and fell back down on the blanket, closing my eyes. Another party?