Consciousness and Confidence

Cale's friend's party was supposed to be at 9 o'clock on Saturday night.

At 8:30 that night, I was perched on the edge of JayJay's bed, completely dressed for a casual party, while watching my best friend frantically run around like a chicken with her head cut off.

"Oh my God, I knew we should have gone to the mall last night! Why did I even let you talk me out of it?" she said, while running from her bureau to her closet for the fifth time. Her room was covered with different pairs of jeans and many, many tank-tops and t-shirts. JayJay loved to shop and at this moment her room was clearly reflecting it.

Obviously, this means that I had indeed decided to go to the party after all. Matt was the first to object to my decision; he has not forgotten what happened last time. Plus, this time he isn't going to be joining us. Instead, my brother got himself a date with the nice blonde girl that works at the ice cream shop. He came home with ice cream for my mom and I every night this week. She thinks it's cute that he's making up excuses to visit her, I'm just happy with the free ice cream.

Despite the lack of the overbearing brother, I'm still going to be under the watchful eye of Jimmy for the night. Brian had volunteered to tag along but Matt insisted that he'd stay away from me this time. If looks could kill, both Brian and Matt would be six feet under from the looks they were giving each other when all of this was decided.

I rolled my eyes and threw one of the pairs of jeans lying next to me directly at her face. It hit her and she stumbled back in slight surprise. "Get ahold of yourself woman!" She just took the jeans off of her head and stared at them in her hands for a second before walking into the bathroom and shutting the door.

"My hair!" I heard her shreik through the door a few seconds later. "What has the weather done to my hair!?" Oh jeeze, this was going to be one of the longest half an hours of my life.

I got up off the bed and walked to the closed bathroom door. "Open up." I ordered, jiggling the handle. I heard the click of it being unlocked and I opened the door to see Jay flat ironing a perfectly straight chunk of hair over and over again.

"Jay, you're getting a bit ridiculous now. This isn't even a date for Pete's sake! Just calm down and we'll find something for you to wear." I told her, trying to take the flat iron from her grasp. I struggled for a minute before she let go, breathing a deep sigh out.

"You're right." she agreed, as we both began to leave the bathroom. "This is just a party. For all I know, he could be bringing a date with him." Her face suddenly appeared stoic.

I snorted out a short breath. "Unlikely. He's basically been a less pathetic version of one of your boy toys all week. He meets up with you after class, walks around with you at lunch. The only thing he doesn't do is make a move on you." I explained, although a part of me was still very unwilling to accept these facts. As the days go by I've tried to push away any sort of feelings I'd have for Cale. He likes Jay and Jay likes him. I wasn't going to get involved in their little lovefest.

'What a good friend.' a voice inside my head cooed.

"Awh, you're such a good friend." JayJay gushed, miming what I had already thought of.

So, for the next twenty-five minutes or so I went through a bunch of clothing laying all over Jay's room with her. Together (or very forcefully on my part) we picked out something for her to wear. She had just finished putting on her shoes when the doorbell rang downstairs.

"Can you get that?" she asked, while fiddling with her sandal's buckle. "My mom's not home right now."

I nodded at her, even though she couldn't see me, and headed out the door. I walked towards her front door where I could hear loud muffled voices. Just before I was about to pull open the door, they rang the bell again.

"Jesus Christ, don't be impat- Oh, hey Jimmy. What are you doing here?" I questioned noticing the familiar tall boy before me.

He shrugged, acting as if randomly appearing at my best friend's house was normal. "Just thought I'd swing by..." I gave him a look and then he added "Matt wanted me to drive you over to the party. Johnny's in the car already." He pointed in the direction of the driveway, from where I could see someone inside the car rubbing their butt cheeks over the glass in a swish-swash manor. Oh, jeeze, this is what happens when Johnny got a bit too rambunctious. Thank god his pants aren't off.

"Wonderful." I muttered before leading Jimmy up the stairs to JayJay's room.

She was looking at herself in the mirror when we stepped in. "Come on, we're out of here." I ordered, grabbing my jacket before exiting the room again. We all walked out and into Jimmy's car, where Johnny had stopped his butt show. Instead, he was just sitting in the front seat fiddling with his phone.

"Nice ass, Johnny." I greeted as I settled into my seat and buckled in my belt.

"What?" he asked, obviously confused.

"I saw your little ass dance against the window before." I told him, as Jimmy took off and out of the driveway and down the road. I noticed Jay giving Johnny a look that had both confusion and concern. His eyes met her and I watched as his face grew slightly red.

"Uhm, well, there was a bug on the window." he stated, lamely.

"So you smushed it with your ass cheeks?" I asked, as Jimmy busted up laughing. Johnny didn't respond, but instead turned up the radio that was currently playing Nirvana. I shrugged it off and instead, turned my intentions towards the window and began to mouth the words to Lithium to myself.

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The first hour of the party was best described as lame. Nothing interesting went on, no one special showed up. JayJay had gone off with Cale within the first fifteen minutes of our arrival, and I stuck with Jimmy and Johnny.

At the moment, we are sitting on some couches, playing a very heated game of Bullshit. Johnny is a bit tipsy, which I have very recently learned, has caused him to become much more talkative and open.

"Bullshit, Ryyan! Bullshit on your ass! You have no fours! You have no fours!" Johnny screamed, throwing his cards down on the table and almost poking my eye out with how closely his finger was shoved in my face. "Bull-bull-bullshit, bull-bull-"

"Johnny!" I shouted, cutting him off. "It's your turn; you're fours!" I smiled widely as he glanced over at Jimmy, who was nodding his head in agreement and struggling to keep in his laughter.

"Oh, well, in that case," he sat back down, picked up his cards and placed a small stack in the middle. "four fours."

I just shook my head at the stupidity of my brother's best friend. Thirsty, I went to grab my plastic cup, that I made sure only contained Coca-Cola, to find it empty. I frowned at it.

"Hey guys, I'm going to get more soda. It's my turn next, so don't start without me." I said before standing up and walking away.

"Ry!" I heard Jimmy shout over the music. I turned back around to see him staring at me in mild concern. "You gonna be alright?"

I smiled warmly at him. "I'll be back in two seconds, don't worry."

I manuvered my way around the random groups of people in conversation with each other. It was simple, there weren't sufficating amounts of people here tonight, there weren't people dancing ridiculously taking up lots of space, and the party wasn't extremely wild. But, that still didn't mean I was about to let my guard down.

I made my way over to where there was a row of coolers with drinks. I opened up each lid until I found the one that had soda cans in it. Snagging some ice from the cooler, I poured a can of Coke in my cup and began to walk back. That's when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"How's the party going?" the ridiculously familiar voice asked in my ear, their breath tickling it slightly. I turned around and smirked wickedly.

"I thought you weren't going to be attending this party, Brian."