Consciousness and Confidence

After never-ending minutes of looking out of the window, I finally began to notice familar scenary around me. Perking up a bit, I removed my head from the palm of my hand and shuffled to sit up straight.

"We're almost there, Ryyan." Matt's statement gave me no new information then what I had already assumed. However, growing in my stomach was the familiar feeling of home. You know that feeling that you get when you've been away for weeks upon weeks and all you want to do is go home and lay down flat on your own matress and sleep for eternity? That's what I was feeling.

"Good." I breathed out with a sigh. "I need home."

Once again, from the rear-view mirror, Brian locked his eyes upon me. And, once again, I did nothing but give him a subtle glare to ward him off. I had enough of his staring games for the entire half hour we drove home from the airport. Added to his, Matt was also giving me random glances because of my odd behavior while stopping for food.

Yes, I had said nothing was wrong. That wasn't true; even Brian saw that. It wasn't a big deal, I just missed my home. I was tired, and I no longer had the energy to pretend to be fine and dandy in the presence of the only man I have ever hated. This day was not holding up to the high standards I had set for it.

"Alright, Ryyan. We're home." Matt's voice made my heart float up from its sinking hole. I squealed. The minute Brians foot hit the break, my door was open and I went charging into the house.

I stood in the middle of the front hall way, just looking around at the house before me. Why was this feeling like I had been away for years? It had only been a two months. But, then again, a lot could change in two months.

"Mom?" I called. "Are you home?" Recieving no reply, I walked into the kitchen to find it empty, then quickly walked toward the living room to find it abandoned too.

"She's not home. She's out with Aunt Mary for a drink." Matt explained, dropping my bag to the floor. I turned to look at him, and noticed Brian walking in behind him.

It was hard to keep the dissapointment from showing on my face and in my voice. "Oh."

Matt came over and wrapped his strong arms around me again. He faintly smelled like french fries from lunch. "Sorry, Ry. She' be back soon though." His words didn't console me.

"It's fine." I played it off. "I guess I might just go upstairs and unpack."

"Alright. Brian bring her bag upstairs." His order had both Brian and I scowling. I didn't want him anywhere near my room.

"Why do I have to?" he asked at the same time I said "I'll do it myself." The reply we got back was merely a shrug from Matt before he plopped himself down in one of the couches.

"Whatever, I'm tired."

Rolling my eyes, I grabbed my bag and hoisted it up the staircase to my room. While throwing it down on the ground, I looked up to face the familiar walls that brought me comfort. Smiling to myself, I did just as I had hoped, and jumped face down into the middle of my embracing bed. I let in the scent of familiarity and exhaled deeply. Nothing could ruin this moment.

"Ryyan?" Of course, I always speak too soon. The undeniable voice of Brain floated into my ears.

Frowning, I lifted my face out of my bed. "What?" I snapped. With all fairness, he had ruined my homecoming.

"Sorry about ruining the moment, I just was wondering if you were alright." Shocked could possibly be considered my first emotion. Since when had Brian ever cared?

I sat up and faced him properly, my eyes narrowing. "What are you playing at, Brian?" He looked at me with a confused expression, so I continued. "You've never cared before. Why are you starting now?"

He shrugged. "I haven't a clue what you're talking about. I've always been like thi-"

"That's a lie if I've ever heard one." I cut in. "We've done nothing but make the other person miserable our entire lives. What have two months done to change you?"

He scratched the back of his head. "I haven't changed."

Frustrated with his unwillingness to give up any information about his motives I let out an exasperated noise. "Then what about the deal, Brian? You do remember that, don't you? You're suppose to stay out of my life, and I'm suppose to keep my mouth shut about you ditching me on the side of the road when I was half drunk."

"You were serious about that?" He asked. His face honestly showed that he didn't infact believe that I had meant it when I said it.

"Yes, I was. Keep your end of the deal, Brian. Alright?" I quirked an eyebrow up to see his response.

Looking everywhere but my face, he nodded. "Fine." His eyes landed upon mine for the millionth time that day. "As long as you want to stick to it."

"I will. Trust me on that." Maybe my words were too harsh for him. He seemed, if only for a second to be hurt by them. None the less, he let out a strangled sigh, and left my room shutting it behind himself.

I couldn't help but wonder to myself if I had just made the right decision. One day is not enough time for a person to change the way they conduct themselves, but he has had months. Maybe he did change, and I just destroyed all hopes of ever discovering it. Or maybe, it was all a part of Brian's never ending jokes.