It's A Roller Coaster Ride We're On

A few days later and this whole Nick/Joe thing hadn’t progressed any further in my mind. Nick was still subtly flirting while Joe was openly flirting. That really bothered Nick and whenever I saw Nick’s expression when Joe was around me, it made me feel guilty. I felt guilty because my mind still wasn’t clear on whether or not I wanted any of this, whether or not I wanted either of them.

We were in Nevada at the moment. Today the boys had a free day. No concert, no interviews, and no photo shoots. We were currently sitting in the boy’s room at the hotel wondering what to do. It was late in the afternoon and we had already watched two movies.

“Want to go to the park down the street? I saw it yesterday on the bus.” Joe asked.

“I’m in,” I said, itching to get outside.

“I’ll go too. Frankie, want to come?” Nick asked.

“Sure. What about you Lauren? Are you and Kevin coming?” Frankie asked.

“I think Lauren and I will stay here bud.” Kevin said, ruffling Frankie’s hair. “Go tell Mom and Dad you guys are going to the park.”

“Alright.” He said, walking out of the room.

“You sure you guys don’t want to come?” I asked Lauren as I stood up.

“Maybe we’ll catch up with you,” she said.

“See you later,” Joe said, walking to the door and holding it open for me. He, Nick, and I stood in the hallway waiting for Frankie. He walked out of his parents’ room and Denise stuck her head out.

“Call when you’re on your way back.” She said, smiling at us.

“Will do Mommy,” Joe said waving to her as we walked to the elevator. I giggled as the elevator doors opened. “What’s so funny?” he asked.

“It’s cute you still call her Mommy,” I said, looking at him.

“You think I’m cute?” he asked.

“We all still call her that occasionally.” Nick said at the same time, sounding a bit disgruntled.

“Well then you’re all cute,” I said, smiling at Nick.

The four of us walked to the park with the occasional chatter. We decided we wouldn’t need Rob or anything, if things got too hectic we could go straight back as fast as we could, it wasn’t far. To our surprise, no one was at the park. Frankie made a beeline for the swings and I followed.

“Joe will you push me?” Frankie asked.

“I was wondering if Lyss wanted someone to push her. Ladies come first you know,” he said to Frankie. I looked at Nick and he rolled his eyes, then I thought of something.

“Nick can push me,” I said, “Frankie asked first.” The boy needs a chance sometime.

“That’s right. You snooze you lose Mel.” Frankie said. Joe shrugged his shoulders and began to push his brother on the swings while I looked at Nick.

“Well are you going to push me or do I have to do it myself?” I asked, batting my eyelashes at him. He laughed and walked over to me. He grabbed the chains of the swing and pulled me back.

“Thank you,” he whispered, before letting me go and swinging forward.

“For what?” I whispered back when I was near him again.

“You know what,” he said as I went forward again.

“Nick, Joe, will you guys’ sing something?” Frankie asked as Joe pushed him.

“Like what little man?” Joe asked.

“Can you sing I Am What I Am? I haven’t heard you guys’ sing it in forever.”

“Oh, yes! Please do.” I exclaimed, turning my neck to smile at the boys.

“Alright, alright,” Joe said before he started singing.

****

“Joe, catch me!” Frankie shouted, running around the playground about an hour later.

“You bet I will!” Joe exclaimed, running after his brother.

“Go join them.” I said, to Nick. “It’ll make great pictures for the book.” I said, holding my camera up.

“Do you ever go anywhere without that thing?” he asked, standing up.

“Um... no, no I don’t.” I said, laughing. “Now go!”

He ran after his brothers. He and Joe were trying to catch Frankie. It was cute. I don’t know who had more energy; Joe or Frankie. After snapping quite a few pictures of them, they seemed to tire themselves out and collapsed on the ground.

It was dark out now, the stars were shining bright. Street lights were starting to turn on. It was beautiful. I lay down on top of the picnic table and pulled my iPod out of my pocket and searched for a song I love. I pushed play as I looked up at the stars. I sang along softly when the chorus came.

“I can’t tell the stars, from the downtown lights. If I said I was truly over you, my heart would say amen, and I’d give in to the cold caress of 2 A.M. If I admit I can’t get used to this, will my heart break again as I fall into the waiting arms of 2 A.M?”

Then someone tapped me on the shoulder causing me to jump. I sat up and pulled an ear bud out of my ear and turned to see Joe. He was grinning at me.

“That’s a nice song. What is it?”

“It’s 2 A.M. by Alexz Johnson.” I said shyly.

“I like it. You have a beautiful voice.” He said, sitting next to me as I blushed. “Still not over that relationship, huh?”

“Yeah…” Sure. “Um, where are Nick and Frankie?”

“Frankie wanted to walk back so I told Nick to take him. He wanted to wait for you but I told him I’d get you and to go ahead.” He explained. “He looked kind of mad actually. I wonder why?”

“Yeah, I wonder.” I said, standing up. “Let’s go.”

****

As Joe and I walked back to the hotel, he kept lightly brushing his hand against mine. I pretended not to notice. It was hard though, to ignore the shivers that ran up and down my spine when we did touch. He cleared his throat.

“So, Lyss,” he began, turning his head to look at me, “We’re friends right?”

“Of course!” I exclaimed. “What kind of question is that?”

“Well, I’m just making sure. You know you can talk to me about anything…”

“Yeah, I know.” I said, wondering what he was trying to say.

“So… if you ever want to talk about that bad relationship, I’ll be there to listen.” He said, now taking my hand in his, keeping the same walking pace as before.

“Oh… that.” I said, trying to keep my voice even.

“Yeah, so, you want to talk about it?”

“Um… sure,” I said, mentally thinking it out. “So I was dating this guy. I was really good friends with him and his family. Turns out his brother liked me as well so, it got awkward. I really liked both boys and my… boyfriend, told me to make a choice; him… or his brother. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to pick one and end up hurting the other.”

“So what did you do?”

“Something I never want to do again. I severed ties with both of them.”

“Man that is hard.” He said. I nodded, you have no idea. “I could never do that.”

“Yeah, like I said, I never want to do it again. I hate hurting people I love.”

“I’m sure you’ll make the right choice next time.” He said, squeezing my hand. Has he caught on?

****

“Where have you two been?” Lauren asked when Joe and I returned to the hotel. Her eyes were on mine and Joe’s connected hands. I automatically dropped his hand and stepped away, putting my camera away to make up for the sudden movement.

“Just talking,” Joe said, sitting on the couch next to Frankie. I sat on my bed next to Nick who was staring at me.

“What?” I whispered as Kevin and Joe got into a conversation.

“You and Joe?” he asked.

“No! No, Nick really we were just talking. The holding hands thing was just a reflex-friends thing.” I explained. His face brightened up and he smiled.

“Oh, okay.” He said. Then he turned the conversation to the upcoming concert.