All I want For Christmas is You

Trembling, I picked up my cell phone.
“Get out.” I told Kailey, shaking with anger.
“Oh, are you okay?” Kailey said, with faux concern.
“GET. OUT!” This time, I yelled.
Kailey rolled her eyes, but left. I opened my phone, angry tears coming down my face, dialing Matt’s number.
“Hello?” He answered on the first ring.
“Why?” I asked, choking on a sob.
“Taylor? Why did you hang up so abruptly?”
I sobbed into the phone.
“Taylor? What happened?”
“I thought we were going to the dance together.” I wailed.
“Oh. That. I thought I would be nice to invite her.” He said, sounding uncomfortable.
“Just like you were being nice while kissing her?” I spat.
“Jeez, Taylor!” He said, “What’s your problem?”
“MY PROBLEM?!” I shrieked, “MY problem? Screw you, Matt.”
“What is wrong with you?” He yelled over the phone, “You’re overreacting!”
“You know what, Matt. I’ll say it? Okay. We are DONE, okay?”
He snorted, “You’re breaking up with me?”
“Yeah, just like you were going to.” I sobbed.
He was silent, “Fine.” He finally said. He hung up and I threw my phone across the room. It hit the opposite wall and broke into four pieces.
I buried my face in my pillow and sobbed. Why did I have to fall for him?
The Christmas dance was on Christmas Eve. I had never gone before, and Matt had asked me to go with him as soon as we were a couple. My mom and I had went shopping for a special dress. We spent hours in the mall, looking for the perfect dress. I wondered if it was too late to return it. I wiped my eyes with my sleeve. I got up from my bed and walked over to the vanity on the other side of the room. I sat on the padded stool and stared at my reflection in the mirror. My face was tearstained and my eyes were puffy. My hair was a mess, like I had just woken up.
All in all, I was the definition of “looking like crap”. A wave of sadness swept through me again and I felt tears build up in my eyes again.
“No, don’t cry.” I sniffed pathetically to my reflection.
I began to rub frantically at my eyes with my hands. This was a habit I’d had since I was a toddler. Whenever I was trying not to cry, I would rub at my eyes. I always got rashes around my eyes, or an eye infection. My mom always tried to break me of my habit, but it never worked. I stood up from the stool and walked out of the room. I could hear everyone laughing and talking downstairs. I heard Kailey telling everyone about her amazing date to the dance.
I walked into my room. I went straight to my nightstand and picked up a picture Matt and I had taken of us together on Halloween. We were both hippies. I took the framed picture in my hands and walked to my dresser. In the top drawer were pictures and notes and gifts from Matt. I gathered all of it into my arms and walked to the open window. I thrust my arms out into the cool air.
Drop everything!
My arms wouldn’t listen. They clang to the memories. I sighed and walked away. I took a box from my closet and dropped everything in. I put the top on and lifted the box into my arms. I went downstairs.
“Taylor, what are you doing?” My mom called from the kitchen.
“Cleaning out my room.” I yelled back.
I walked through the kitchen, ignoring the stares, and opened the door to the garage. I put my box in a corner in the garage. I looked at it for a minute, then tore my eyes away. I walked back into the kitchen.
I began to rummage through our pantry.
“Um, Taylor?” My mom said, “What are you looking for?”
“Chocolate.” I answered simply, “Aha!” I exclaimed as I took a bag of M&Ms out and waved them, “I knew I saw them!”
I walked into the family room and grabbed all the chick flicks and sad movies I could.
With my M&Ms and DVDs in arm, I marched back up the stairs and into the guest room. I shut the door and dropped my stash on the bed. I picked up the Notebook, one of my favorite movies ever, and put it in the DVD player. I lounged back on the bed and opened the M&Ms and immediately started eating handfuls of them.
It didn’t take long for me to start sobbing again. Through my tears I watched as Noah left Allie. I ate another handful of M&Ms.
I watched another man propose to Allie, “NO!” I yelled, “You love Noah! You can’t marry Prince Edward! He’s a CARTOON!” I threw an M&M at the TV.
I reached my hand into the bag to get another handful and noticed it was empty.
“Damn.” I said under my breath. I pressed pause on the remote and picked up my cell phone, dialing my most trusted confidant.
“Why are you calling me?!” My confidant snapped as she picked up the phone, “I’m down stairs!”
“Hi Carrie.” I said to my favorite (and only) older sister.
“Hi. What do you want?” Carrie said, getting straight to the point.
“I need a couple more bags of M&M’s.” I told her.
“What are you doing with all of them?” She asked
“Eating them.” I told her.
“What’s up with all the chocolate?” She laughed, “Did you and Matt break up or something?”
“Yeah. Bring up more M&M’s.” I said impatiently. Why did she need to know all the details?
She was silent for a minute, “Oh. My. GOD! Are you serious?”
“YES! I want more M&M’s!” I whined.
“M&M’s are so not a breakup food.”
“I. Need. Chocolate. And you are depriving me of it. I can easily eat you instead.” I threatened.
“You need Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food.” She said thoughtfully, ignoring me.
“I NEED CHOCOLATE!” I yelled.
She sighed, “Okay, okay. I’ll bring a couple bags up for you, but I’m going out to buy you some Ben & Jerry’s, okay?”
“Fine.” I muttered, thinking of how I could be eating my M&M’s that minute.
“Okay, I’m coming up now. Then I’ll get the ice cream.”
“Fine.” I snapped. I flipped my phone shut.
I was snapping.

I took a chance, I took a shot
And you might think i'm bulletproof, but i'm not
You took a swing, I took it hard
And down here from the ground I see who you are

I'm sick and tired of your attitude
I'm feeling like I don't know you
You tell me that you love me then you cut me down
And I need you like a heartbeat
But you know you got a mean streak
Makes me run for cover when you're around
And here's to you and your temper
Yes, I remember what you said last night
And I know that you see what you're doing to me Tell me why..

You could write a book on how to
ruin someone's perfect day
Well I get so confused and frustrated
Forget what i'm trying to say, oh

~"Tell Me Why" Taylor Swift