Hail and Farewell to Paris

Later on that night I lay awake next to Billie who was snoring softly. A muffled knock crept through the silence of the room; I sighed and swung my legs over the mattress to the hotel room door. Opening the wooden door with a creak Mike appeared in his boxers and a grubby white t-shirt. I yawned, quickly covering my mouth bashfully.

“Sorry Ava, it’s just I couldn’t sleep, I kept thinking about today and…” the bassist drifted, his cheeks turning to a deep shade of red.
I smiled, my eyes dazing for a moment, I turned to glance back into the room to see Billie bring the covers over his head mid dream. I pulled the wooden door too behind me, stepping closer to Mike.
“Look its okay; you didn’t make her say those things.”
“I know but…” Mike ran a hand through his hair nervously, “It’s just…a lot of stuff I guess, well you know things aren’t going well with Brittany and…”
I brought my arms around the singer’s neck, the taller man dropping and beginning to sob in my collarbone.
“I’m sorry Ava…I’m sorry…I…I don’t know what to do, Billie and Tre are, well, they have people who love them and…I just don’t think Brittany loves me any more.”
I was speechless, my calves giving in to Mike’s weight, stumbling backwards into the wall I slid down, Mike following me, his face still buried into my neck. My spine flinched from the damage Tre did whilst banging on the door earlier.
I sat staring at the cream wall opposite me, not quite sure what to say, figuring that it would be best if Mike, still presumably drunk, just let it out now while he was away from his bandmates.
I felt bad for him, he was a good person with a, yes, sometimes terrifyingly fiery temper but he meant well, ever since I met Mike he had been such a gentleman.
The bassist’s breath hitched as he sat up, wiping his damp face on the back of his tattooed hand.
“Sorry for waking you up”
“Mike you don’t have to apologize, its fine, really, I wasn’t asleep anyway.”
He made a small ‘huff’ noise before bringing his gangly legs up to his chin like a lost child.
“Do you think she loves me?”
My eyes danced over his graying eyes for a moment.
“Yes, she wants to marry you Mike, Brittany is a decent person, sharp around the ages however but I don’t believe she would marry someone whom she didn’t love.”
Mike nodded, his limp blonde spikes flopping to the left of his cheekbone.
I took a piece of fabric from my nightdress and thread it through my fingers, distracting myself from the overpowering silence around the corridor.
“Were you not sleeping because of what she said to you, Heidi I mean?”
I nodded at my thigh, refusing to look at the bassist, whenever I thought of her words I felt sick.
“Ava…she’s…she was lying, I mean…”
I made a snorting noise, “its okay Mike, really, I suppose I’ll have to deal with it, I was just terrified, I mean I didn’t know what she was going to do to Billie Joe.”
Mike nodded, “I bet he was conscious really and enjoying it, being pawed by her I mean”
I giggled, the echo erupting from my lips sounding so unusual in the deathly surroundings.
Mike stood up, reaching out his hand for me to take.
Stumbling upwards I faced him to once again say goodnight.
“Forget her Ava, your too good a person to be worrying about something like that”
I smirked at his words, “Sometimes Michael I think you should listen to your own advice”
The bassist shifted on his bare feet uneasily, a funny smile under his nose.
“Goodnight” he whispered bringing me in for a hug.
“Goodnight Mike” after embracing him back I silently tip-toed into the room and shut the door.
Only to continue to lie awake with racing thoughts.

“Ava this was the worst weekend ever I’m so sorry”
I gave a sad smile to my boyfriend as we stood at the departures lounge of Dublin airport. It hadn’t been a very productive weekend. Today the guys had interviews which meant my time with Billie was spent with Dan and their tour manager Brian watching them tell witty stories to various Irish journalists.
I shrugged my shoulders as he bit his lip nervously.
“I’ll make it up to you as soon as my assassin brings me the head of Heidi bitch face.”
I shook my head laughing, “You’re making me into Salome.”
Billie didn’t get it but brought his arms around me anyway, he had gotten so angry when Mike and I told him about the Irish fan that it got me a little terrified and...well...quite turned on too.
I felt my herat beat rise whilst in amoung Billie's strong clutches.
“Salome asked for the head of John the Baptist” I whispered as he made an “ahhh!” noise down my ear.
“Well, Salome or not I’m sorry and…don’t listen to her.”
I nodded, my nostrils taking in as much of Billie’s sweet cologne as possible.
I felt his finger wrap around a curl of my hair before his hot palm cupped my chin and forced our lips together.
“Bye Billie” I whispered, pulling away, tears forming in my eyes.
“See you later baby” he smiled sadly, letting his hand fall from my face limply.
“I love you” he whispered.
A shiver ran down my back as I turned on my red heels and walked away, back on a plane once again, back to dear Paris, back to that sickly feeling of loneliness and regret, back to saying goodbye to him once more.

One of the things that I was dreading was this very moment.
I was stood outside my apartment, clutching a suitcase, my purse and another small bag of things. This was it, I was leaving my favorite place in the world.
Paris was me, it was excess, rich fabrics, sweet wines and breathtaking buildings.
To leave this, leave it all behind made me want to sob into my red dress for hours.
Mme Vale and Camille had come to say one last goodbye to me.
The shop owner was clutching a white hanker chief with streaks of mascara staining the lace from her tears. That sight, of the older woman in her perfect blue suite and her black peacock hat made me want to drop my cases and call back the delivery van.
“I’ll miss you” I sobbed, unable to hold back the tears any longer, “Please come and visit me”
“Of course we will Ava you silly girl” Mme Vale stammered bringing me into a hug.
I clutched her tightly, my hold resembling that of how much I didn't want to leave this city.
“Remember why you’re leaving Ava, he loves you so much” Camille whispered kissing me on the cheek.
I nodded, my vision blurry with the thick drops of water ebbing from my eyelashes.
“Look now, stop, your make up will run, come on darling…” Mme Vale inhaled sharply through her nose, I wasn’t quite sure whether she was talking to me or herself, but either way it made me shake my head to try and free it of these painful thoughts.
“You can take the girl out of Paris Ava, remember that” she chuckled.
I nodded, “My heart will always be here” I sighed, turning around to take in the skyline one last time.
“Yes but now it has someone else to hold too” Camille chuckled sadly.
I smiled at her, before stepping into my awaiting cab and taking off down the street for good.
To go to my new home, my home with him, Oakland, California...

The desert will be fruitful, the arid rock will flow
Before the footsteps of these wayfarers, who go
Eternally into the lightless realm of chance.