Hail and Farewell to Paris

I had dozed off, thoroughly exhausted from crying and debating whether to just pack up my things and leave. I never wanted this to happen; I didn’t even think of the consequences of the truth being uncovered, I just wanted Billie without all the baggage that I had brought along. I heard the front door slam and sitting up I glanced at myself in the mirror. My eyes were red and sore, black watery mascara marks had dried hideously across my skin and I groaned as I began to dab at it with my make-up remover.
The shrill ring of the phone made me jump and I shook my head, ignoring it completely. I was too scared and too distraught to talk to anyone.
Beep.
“Hello? Guys?”
It was Mike.
I stared at the voice on the answering machine like it was the bassist himself.
“Ava? Bill? I know you’re there man, pick up…”
I sighed.
“Look…I’m coming over okay?”
Suddenly the phone went dead and I groaned I just wanted to be left alone for a while; I wanted to wallow in my own hideousness. I didn’t want Mike coming over and desperately trying to make the hopeless situation any better.
No one could make this better; I may as well jump from the bedroom window right now.

The doorbell rang suddenly, I didn’t know why I was surprised that Mike was so quick, he was a reckless driver when need be. I sighed and flopped back onto the bed. Billie would answer it wouldn’t he?
Five minutes later the buzzer was still going.
I groaned.
Lifting myself up from the make-up stained pillow I drifted downstairs and opened the door.
Mike burst through followed by flashes and yells; he slammed the door behind him, his chest panting like he had run for miles.
“Ava, Ava are you okay?”
I frowned, “Yes Mike but what’s going…?”
“Paparazzi, they are all trying to get some new pictures of you.”
I wobbled on my heels, “Oh God”
I launched myself into Mike’s arms, unable to control it anymore, sobbing into him like he would make this all go away.
“OH God Mike, why? Why the hell is this happening?”
Mike held me tighter, “I’m sorry Ava, I’m so sorry”
I pulled away from Mike, “What? It’s not you’re…”
The bassist pulled a hand through his hair before fingering the hem of his wife beater.
“Ava I…”
“What?”
“Is Billie here?”
I stepped backwards from him, “He should be”
I yelled for the singer but there was no answer,
“I’ll ask the boys” Mike sighed running upstairs.
I leaned on the kitchen counter, my whole body collapsing into the marble, I so badly wanted to just disappear into nothingness, grab a bottle of wine and escape my troubles. My arm flinched and something scuttled onto the floor. An empty beer bottle, I turned around, there were empty beer bottles all over the kitchen.
Oh God Billie.
Mike came thumping down the stairs, “Ava he isn’t here!”
“I know, look”
Mike frowned at the beer bottles. “Come on, I know where we need to go”
The bassist took my hand, dragging me despite the protests into the garage through the kitchen; he bumbled me into his car and took off.
Thank God Mike had blacked out windows; I stared at the flashing cameras with contempt and fear, how on earth could people be so awful? They were like starving lions hunting prey.
“Mike where?”
“Okay, Ava, well…Brittany said something today that made me believe that Sarah was the one who told the magazine about you”
My heart stopped.
Sarah.
Oh God Sarah.
I stayed silent, remembering how bad I felt when I thought Billie was cheating on me with her, for that girl to do something so despicable she must really love Billie Joe or really hate me.
“I’m sorry Ava, I never pick the right women and…”
“Mike what are you talking about?”
My eyes wandered to the floor where I spotted the magazine, I flicked to page 4 where the article was present in all its horrid glory.

Who’s the CHUMP Billie Joe?

Billie Joe Armstrong, punk rock god and the 36 year old singer from Green Day hasn’t had a great time in the last few years. After loosing his beloved wife Adrienne to cancer four years ago thus being left to raise his two sons, Joseph Marciano and Jacob Danger on his own, Billie Joe hasn’t had much time for love whilst juggling parenting and his career. But last year he met Lady Ava Crawford, a 31 year old woman from England. According to close friends the pair hit it off right away but close sources to the couple have revealed that Ava has an even darker past than the punk rocker himself.
Ava Crawford was born in Hackney, London and soon was taken under the wing of the late Lord Charles Winchester. Ava became a permanent figure in the wealthy Lord’s life and has been blamed for the countless wrecked marriages of the aristocrat. Miss Crawford soon began to offer paid services to The Lord as well as high rise business men such as Richard Hamilton, manager of Sony Enterprises and Mervin Blunt, accountant for the French company Tata communications. Ava’s ruthless greed and talent for enticing rich men has led her to inheriting the Lady Winchester title, despite numerous ex-wives of the late Lord Charles whom were deemed more appropriate.
Now it seems the fragile Green Day front man has entered the clutches of Crawford’s voracity. A close female friend to the band who met Ava in Dublin said this, “She won’t let Billie out of her sight, and if he even looks at another woman she goes crazy. It’s like he’s under her spell, he could find someone so much better for him, I guess he’s just lonely”
With friends, family and fans alike worrying about the singer’s troubled state his relationship with Ava Crawford can’t be a good thing. This magazine wonders whether the troubled singer should take advice from his drummer and stay all by himself?

There was a picture of the pair of us leaving Dublin airport in a hurry, Billie was holding my hand and dragging me into the awaiting cab. The Irish friend? That couldn’t be Heidi could it? I felt sick. I turned to Mike who was wearily watching me as he drove.
“Ava it’s a fat load of shit”
I opened my mouth; a gurgling noise erupting from my throat.
“Just, just chuck out the window Ava.” He snapped
“Oh God we can’t stay together Mike, Billie and I we won’t last through this, I’m wrecking his career, his life…”
Mike came to a stop outside an unknown house; I fell silent at the sight of Billie’s car in front of me.
“Where are we?”
“This is Sarah’s house Ava”
I felt my eyes well up with hot burning tears.
Oh Jesus no.

“AND DON’T YOU THINK FOR ONE FUCKIN MINUTE I’M NOT SUING YOUR ASS!”
Mike and I looked at each other as we heard Billie and Sarah yell at each other through the girl’s front door. It opened abruptly before Mike’s knuckles came into contact with the painted green surface. I jumped as I came face to face with a fuming Billie Joe.

“Guys…” he whispered, his eyes softening through blaring sockets.
I looked down the open doorway to see Sarah standing there. My mouth dropped at her appearance, most notably her hair. It was now black and shoulder length, exactly like mine. Her straight blonde locks were gone and replaced with dodgy curls looking like my 17 year old hair when I couldn’t quite get the hang of pin curls.
Her mouth dropped when she saw me and I froze.
“Oh look Billie; speak of the devil, she’s come to rescue you”
Billie frowned but before he could speak I had shot in,
“Sarah darling, I have four delightful words for you that I need to get off my chest, Fuck Off You Tart.”
My heart sped up with anger; I would never ever normally say anything like that. Maybe it was the Billie Joe coming out in me. However, I highly doubt he would ever say that sentence.
As everyone looked at me in shock I grabbed Billie’s arm and pulled him from the front door to the side of the pavement. Sarah came storming out after us.
“Who the fuck do you think you are Ava?”
“It’s Lady Ava dear and the next time you pin curl your hair I suggest you use setting lotion, but it’s looks like you’ve fried it beyond repair I'm afraid.”
With that I opened Mike’s car door, pushed Billie into the back seat and waited for Mike to start the vehicle.
I couldn’t believe I had taken control, maybe I had just had enough but I assumed I’d be cowering behind Mike as Billie ran from the house being chased by her wielding a butcher knife.
Don’t these men know any normal women?
Both Mike and Billie were both speechless as we drove back to the Armstrong house. That is until we got to a red light and the bassist turned to me.
“Fuck Off you tart? Legendary” he chuckled.
I laughed and turned to Billie who had his mouth open at me, “I so badly want to kiss you after that Ava…‘It’s Lady Ava girlfriend uh huh?’”
Billie clicked his fingers drunkenly and jerked his neck like Queen Latifah.
Mike laughed.

“I had to say something Billie, she is an absolute harlot, I can’t believe I swore though, that’s your influence”
Mike chuckled before glancing in his wing mirror at his friend,
“Well what did you do? Yell at her? I can’t believe you drove there drunk, after your fuckin DUI and everything man, sometimes you’re such an idiot.”
Billie shrugged, “I needed to yell at her, I figured it was her so I just took off without thinking”
Mike made a clicking noise with his teeth,
“Brittany broke down at me across the kitchen table with a copy of People in front of her, she confessed everything, and she was there when Sarah rang her friend.”
I sighed, “I don’t blame Brittany, I just don’t know why Sarah did that”
“Oh I know why, didn’t you see her hair? Crazy bitch, she told me we would make the perfect couple…before she threw a plate at the wall behind me” Billie spat.
Mike shook his head,
“You need to sort this out, plus Bill man your car is still there, she’ll wreck it knowing her”
“Fuck the car” Billie snapped, “I’m suing her ass and Peoples magazine.”
Mike sighed as I looked at him nervously.
“Bill, come on now, just ignore it if you and Ava rise to it then people will think it’s true.”
“It is true” I sighed, “I’m sorry Billie, I’m far too much trouble.”
I felt a pair of tattooed arms come around my chair and rest on my stomach tenderly,
“Yeah you're trouble but that's why I love you, but this one was my fault Aves, I’m sorry”

“Fuck it! That’s it! Let’s just go away somewhere”
Billie flopped opposite me at the kitchen table. Neither of us had been able to leave the house without security, the paparazzi had been camping outside like it was a free music festival. Joey and Jake still won’t speak to me; they’ve barely spoken to their father. Right now they were at Ollie’s and they were staying there till this was over although from where I was sitting it didn’t look like it would ever go away. More magazine articles came out, despite Richard and Merv denying everything and saying that I was just their girlfriend, Oprah did a special on ‘girls who turn to prostitution’ and a Google search on my name resulted with “We Hate Ava Crawford fan club” at number one.
Not to mention Tre kept inviting ‘Lady Ava’ to the spiffing polo pony match in his back garden to cheer ‘one’ up.

“We can’t just go Billie” I sighed, fingering my refilled cup of coffee. I was tired, Billie looked exhausted and unshaven, neither of us could sleep, I sat staring for hours at my Paris wardrobe door but I just started to feel sick at the memory of my once perfect life.
“We can, let’s go, let’s up and fuckin go… somewhere warm, romantic, expensive, some where pretty and surrounded by water.”
I smiled sadly, “It sounds like you’ve just described Venice”
Billie came out of his trance and shot up.
“Venice…okay let’s go”
“Billie…”
He ignored me; he started pacing the kitchen trying to work things out in his head. I sighed, going away wouldn’t help, and we would just have to return to face more eagling anyway.
“Or Paris…want to go back?”
I sighed, “I’d love to, but right now that thought is making me vomit, plus Mme Vale called saying that paparazzi are everywhere there trying to dig up more dirt on me. You’d think there would be OTHER more important news to report.”
Billie frowned at me, “I know, but it doesn’t matter that the third world countries are suffering from hurricanes or whatever not when some famous guy is dating someone. Never mind that… okay….well Venice, I’ve never been and it’ll be a new place to love, we’ll go there, I’ll sort it out…a deserved escape…”
“And the boys?”
“They can join us when they fuckin see sense. Anyway Ollie likes having them around.”
“Billie I…”
The singer skidded across the tiled floor and grabbed my hands, looking up at me desperately.
“We need to get away babe, we can’t stay here because we’ll go fuckin crazy, please Ava. Please, let’s just go.”
I lifted my hand from his trembling fingers, stroking a line down his worn and unshaven cheek. His glowing green eyes fluttered at my touch and I sighed,
“Okay Billie darling, let’s go.”