Hail and Farewell to Paris

Je n'ai pas oublie

Back in a Californian airport, a blonde haired bassist, wearing dark sunglasses and a wife beater watched his two Godsons walk away with an air hostess, ready to board a plane to a European city. The man sighed, turning his head to see a young teenage girl staring at him as she trailed behind her parents and younger brother. He grinned at her and moved his head towards the exit, glancing to the floor however, something caught his attention. It was a flyer for a Film Festival, a celebration of 1940s cinema…and there staring up at him was a photograph of a young and glamorous Elizabeth Taylor smiling like a true star. She reminded the man of his friend’s girlfriend and right at that moment he wanted nothing more than to board a plane himself and see the woman, who in his eyes, was the most beautiful and kind creature in the world. He scrunched up the paper, tossing it aside and letting his legs take him out of the departures lounge, his cell vibrated in the pocket of his tight black jeans and on removing it he saw a text message from his best friend…

Hey Mike,
Hope you’re okay
Thanks for dropping the boys off today
I fucked up the proposal….but there's a few days left here to sort it out I hope
BJ xxx

The bassist stared at the text, his eyes scanning it like it was a death certificate, Billie was going to ask her to marry him again…then that was it…it would all be over…Ava would never be his. A sudden surge of anger swam up his gut, why did Billie always get what he wanted? He fucked it up and she STILL stays with him, she STILL may be his wife. The bassist’s famous fiery temper suddenly spout through his mouth in a disturbing snarl. He angrily stuffed his cell back into his pocket, turned on his heel and marched back into the departures lounge…

“One ticket to Venice please”
***

“Oh Fuck”
Billie groaned as I rolled from his chest, sweat pouring from his hair line, his chest heaving with the same intensity as my own. We curled into each other, his arm swinging around my shoulder were my damp hair congregated in a sweaty mess.
“That was…wow”
I chuckled as he kissed my cheek sloppily,
“Make up sex is the best” He announced as if we had an audience.
My reply was to close my eyes and snuggle into his chest as tiredness took over me. We had to go and pick Joey and Jakob from the airport soon and I was determined to have my last lonesome hours with Billie to be peacefully asleep, I had a terrible feeling these next few days would be no better than the previous few.

Hooray, hooray I’m your silver lining.

Of course we got lost on the way to the airport, despite the ‘Perfect’ directions that Billie had been given from Andre the barman at the hotel. However it was written in a less than perfect Italian scrawl and I found myself pushing the singer into a water taxi, arriving at the airport just on time.
I sat chewing the side of my cheek and fiddling with my right hand that lay comatose in my lap, I was nervous. I sat watching Billie drink his coffee in the arrivals lounge as hundreds of people thundered past us yelling and cheering as their friends and relatives arrived safely off the plane.
Fifteen minutes went by before two black haired boys emerged through the gate looking tired, their matching green eyes scanned the room before they fell on their father who dashed from my side and raced towards them frantically.
They squealed as he enveloped them in a hug,
“Hey guys!” Billie roared, before finally letting his sons go.
“Hey dad” Joe answered quite bashfully, running a hand through his black mop of hair.

All three Armstrong men turned to me and I smiled uneasily.
“Hello”
“Hey Ava” Jake replied quickly earning a glance from his brother who stayed staring at me in a silent hatred.
“Come on then, let get some food huh?” Billie chuckled, his eyebrows rising in a comforting look as he ushered his offspring out of the blustering airport.
***

Mike sat livid in the car on the way back to his Californian home. The only available flight wasn’t until two days; his fists clenched the steering wheel as he thought of his chance slowly ebbing away and how sickly the news of this was delivered by a grinning air hostess.
He had to get out there but Italian planes were obviously the biggest load of bull shit in all the history of flying. At least he could now develop a more plausible excuse for leaving the country to feed to Brittany.
Now with hindsight, “Billie has food poisoning” or “the water in Venice has rapidly risen and Billie and Ava are trapped on the roof of their hotel” doesn’t seem that believable, even to the dumb blonde he shared his house with.
***

We were currently eating in a small café near San Marco square, Jake was behaving like nothing had happened between the four of us and he confidently chatted away over his pizza, telling his dad and myself about his school work and the funny things that had happened whilst staying at Ollie’s.
Joey on the other hand had been giving me daggers as he chopped at his Spaghetti Bolognese, he didn’t seem thrilled to be in Venice or to have been taken to the restaurant by boat or to be in the same country as myself for that matter.
Billie kept glancing at me sympathetically; I could see the cogs of his brain working rapidly behind those emerald eyes of his. I wasn’t sure what he was thinking but I nearly died in my seat when his mouth opened after the meal was finished …

“Well I’m up for some shopping exploration. Hey tell you what….Jake why don’t you come with me and Joe, you need a new shirt, go with Ava and she’ll help you pick one.”

“Okay” Jake grinned jumping from his seat enthusiastically.
“What?” Joe spat
“Pardon?” I whispered at the singer in disbelief.
“You heard…” He answered, getting up and placing a hand on his younger sons shoulder.
“…have fun you two catch you later…”
I sat open mouthed as he turned Jake around and left the restaurant after dropping the check to his empty plate before either of us had time to protest.
Joey turned from watching them leave to look at me with a face of something close to horror.
Oh my this was going to be fun.
I will kill Billie Joe later.

Exactly ten minutes later Joey was stalking next to my side in a sulk. His shoulders slumped and his head turned so far away from me it seemed he was trying to bury his nose in the concrete to prevent his eyes from crossing my path.
I sighed, flouncing into Procuratie Vecchie square and diving into the nearest men’s tailors. I guessed that the quicker I got the boy a shirt the quicker I would be back with Billie Joe and Jake. Of course my guess was wrong, every shirt I picked up Joey shook his head disgustingly.
Four shops later and still he had found nothing…he hadn’t said a word either.
“Have you turned suddenly mute Joseph?” I spat, beginning to loose my temper as I placed the umpteenth shirt back onto the rack.
“No” the boy growled back, “I just don’t feel like wasting my breath on YOU”
I whipped around to see him glare at me,
“Well maybe I don’t feel like wasting my time on YOU”
I answered back, a look of surprise washed over his eyes for a moment at my child-like outburst, he swallowed.
“Well why bother? You already have what you want Ava, you have my dad, it doesn’t matter”
I frowned a him, folding my arms strictly, “Joseph…”
“Stop saying my name like that!” He yelled storming from the shop.
I rolled my eyes and ran after him, loosing Joey in the complicated streets of Venice would be hard to explain to his father
“JOESPH!” I roared, grabbing a hold of his arm, causing a few people in the crowds to look in our direction.

“We need to talk kiddo” I growled
“No we don’t” he answered, dragging his arm away from my crimson grip.
“No, we do” I snarled, taking my firm hold back onto his sleeve and pulling him to the fountain in the centre of the square.
“Sit” I snapped.
The boy slowly lowered himself next to me on the marble rim of the fountain, glaring at the brick under his chucks like it held some mystical message.

I stared at him for a while; suddenly remembering him giving me directions to his mother’s grave that morning, him giving me directions to his father…that day Joey was so innocent, so vulnerable, he had thrown himself into my arms without a second thought and now, here, sitting on the edge of this fountain I wanted nothing more than for him to trust me that much again. I wanted this to end, I needed this to end.

“I’m sorry Joseph” I whispered, “I’m sorry about everything you have had to put up with. What you found out about me was horrible and I suppose how you found out was even worse…”

“Yeah it was, have you any idea how humiliating it is to go into school and everyone knows your dad’s girlfriend was a hooker?”

“I can’t imagine” I told the back of his head, the word ‘hooker’ making me want to vomit.

“I mean how would you feel if you went into you locker one day and that magazine was stuck up in there waiting for you?”

I swallowed as he continued,
“I mean I liked you Ava, you were nice to me and Jake and you seemed to love my dad but…”
“I love you dad” I cut in, making his head lift and look at me, “I love you dad, I still love your dad”

He blinked at me, glancing back at the floor before looking at me again, “That’s what my grandmom said, she told me and Jake to come out here, she said that you and my dad really love each other and we should come and see for ourselves.”
“And what do you think?”
He mumbled something.
“Pardon?”
The boy fiddled with the ends of his hair, “Well…I mean, Uncle Mike let slip that I may have to get used to having you around for a while whether I like it or not…”
I nodded at him, my brain wondering what hysterical state I would be in right now if Billie’s first attempt at a proposal didn’t go so horrible askew and Joe had just dropped that bombshell on me.
“I mean, I don’t know Ava, if you were in my position what would you think?”
I sighed, this kid was smart, too smart, he had been through too much for someone his age.

“I would hate Ava Crawford, yes, I probably would…. but Joey, think about my situation, I mean, everyone hates me, I hate myself for what I did, but when your boyfriend’s children hate you, it tears you up even more….You’re your father’s whole life and I want you and Jake to like me, there’s less pressure on your dad….I mean I know that you have been through so much. You’re so smart Joe, you really are and…”

The teenager grinned at me, his eyes glowing as he interrupted, “Grandmom said a similar thing to us, I don’t want to hate you Ava, you’re cool, you helped me with work and stuff and you kind of knew you couldn’t take my mom’s place. That’s what I was scared of at first.”
I smiled at him softly, “I was going to leave, I wanted to leave, I thought that it was better for everyone if I just left.”
Joey stayed silent, looking back down at the brick under his small feet.
I inhaled quickly, wondering whether he was wishing inside his little head that I had followed my initial thoughts. After a few moments I opened my mouth again.

“I’m sorry for everyone at school teasing you, you should just ignore them”
“I get the piss taken out of me anyway for dad…” he chuckled, “I do just ignore them, they have no idea what it’s like having my dad do what he does. Maybe you should ignore people too Ava”
I smiled at him, his grin turning into a small laugh.
“What?”
“Well…”
“No go on what?”
“All the guys at school want to come over and see you, they like you from all the pictures in the papers they’ve seen”
I laughed.
“Oh god, I bet their mothers aren’t too happy”
Joey chuckled.
We stared ahead at the Italian crowd for a moment before Joey turned to me once again.
“Ava…I’m…I’m sorry too…for being…well… horrible I guess”
I stood up, looking down at him and gesturing for him to take my hand, “It’s okay Joe, you weren’t horrible, just…just very difficult”
He laughed as he rose from the fountain himself, “I’m my dad’s son”
“Yes I notice the same stubbornness” I laughed, “let’s go and find him and Jake huh?”
***

Half a mile away, sitting outside a gelato store Billie Joe and Jake were snaffling a huge ice cream topped with whipped cream and chocolate.
“So Jake…did you think that was a bad idea?”
The younger son giggled, “Yeah, Joey hates Ava dad”
The singer shuffled in his seat, “Really?”
His son shrugged, “Well he says he does but I don’t think he hates her, I think he’s just really angry.”
“Do you hate her?”
Jake shook his head, before diving his spoon into the strawberry flavour,
“Nope”
Billie licked the back of his spoon, “How come?”
The little boy leaned backwards into his chair, studying the half empty ice cream glass with interest.
“I dunno, you like Ava a lot and I’m not really bothered, my friends haven’t said anything to me. Grandmom told us to ignore it anyway, she said we shouldn’t get in the way of making you happy.”
Billie Joe smiled sadly at his son, he loved Ava but if his sons hated her he didn’t know what to do. His children came first, but what sort of father would he be with a broken heart?
“Ava is nice dad, I think Joe has a crush on her and he’s just mad because now his friends do.”
Billie laughed as his son chuckled, “Don’t tell him I said that”
The singer contemplated his son’s words for a moment,
“Dad…”
“Hmm?”
“Uncle Mike said you were going to get married.”
Billie coughed nervously, “Well, I am going to ask her Jake”
“I think it’s good dad, it shows everyone else that you don’t care what they think.”
Billie grinned at his youngest, wondering how on earth he could have possibly made and raised a child this bright.
“Dad you should do what they do in the old movies that Ava watches, you know, take her on one of those gond…gonde…”
“Gondolas”
“Yeah and ask her there”
The father chuckled at his offspring, “You are a little genius you know that right?”
“yeah I know that dad.”

“Could you get a bigger ice cream?”
Billie and Jake raised their heads to see Joe and Ava standing in front of them giggling.
“Yeah I could actually” the singer snapped like a kid, his eyes secretly shining at the fact his plan to get his girlfriend and son to talk had seemingly worked so well.
“Then you’d get fat and you wouldn’t be able to run around on stage like an idiot” Ava smiled pulling up a seat next to him.
Billie grinned at his beautiful girlfriend, her huge brown eyes glossed over his face as he licked his bottom lip in thought. He knew what he would do…DVD for the boys…dinner for him and Ava…bottle of scotch to help him get some Dutch courage for the gondola ride...and that certain question...