Hail and Farewell to Paris
Le Lethe
“Wha…Mike…I…You?”
He chuckled, running a hand through blonde spikes after I let go of him in a relief that he was alive and well…and apparently in Venice.
“Er, hey”
“Does Billie know you’re here? He’s been worried sick about you Mike, I can’t believe you just took off and…every one is looking for you…”
I was babbling a million things at once as I tried to make my way out of the hall, praying Billie was in the hotel room.
“Ava…”
I turned, Mike’s hand firmly placed on my forearm.
“I’ve err…if you’re planning on going to the suite, don’t bother I’ve just been up there, he isn’t in there”
My shoulders sank as Mike slowly removed his grip.
“What are you doing here?”
“I need to talk to you”
“You flew all the way out here on a whim to talk to me?” I asked frowning under my tall hair.
Mike shrugged awkwardly a guilty smile on his face, “My cell is broken”
I sighed, nervously leading him to an empty table in the corner of the room.
***
I followed Ava nervously, my eyes fixated on the visible nape of her white neck. I so badly wanted to reach out and touch her, she looked so beautiful, so beautiful. I knew it was her straight away, sitting at the bar, that man staring at her in a want that I could sympathize with. She looked so magnificent, her dress showing her perfect shoulders and long neck, her hair falling delicately around her face. I had to just look at her for a moment or to, take in every part of her because I had a feeling that after pouring my heart into her hands she wouldn’t be the same around me ever again.
The table she led us to was deserted, a vase of white flowers sat in the centre, surrounded by abandoned empty glasses. She sat down first, turning to face me, bringing her skirts over the sides of the wooden chair making her look like she was perching on a cloud. I was getting carried away, a mixture of nerves and a feeling of foolishness was rattling away at the back of my brain. Brown eyes met blue and my spine tingled, I glanced down at her hand that sat elegantly on top of the white tablecloth, the diamond sat comfortably on her finger. Billie had shown it to me in it’s box of course, but now it shone against her porcelain skin it looked more beautiful than ever.
It suited her, down the very last vintage blue sapphire, yes it was perfect, it was so perfect that it made me uneasy.
“So…err, Mike dear, what is this desperation that has driven you to fly out here?”
I shifted on my seat as she smiled at me; my mind was at point blank. How do you begin to tell someone that you’re in love with them so much it hurts every second of the day?
“I…well, I…I…I wanted to wish you and Billie congratulations…” I nodded at the rock on her finger which she glanced down to, brushing a hand across its gleaming surface in a pride that made my heart sink.
“Thank you Mike, the boys told me that you knew”
My body shuddered,
“But I don’t think you flew to Europe to tell me that did you?”
I shook my head, cursing my mouth that was slowly turning into a desert. I looked up at her face, her eyes shining in concern,
“Mike, what...?”
I didn’t let her finish, I grabbed her hand and pulled her from the chair, making for the exit as quick as possible.
“Wait! Mike wait!”
I turned around as she pulled her hand free from my grasp,
“I can’t just leave the boys…”
I sighed, “Ava, they’re fine, trust me”
She frowned slightly, “Even so, let me tell them we’re going to the room just in case”
I nodded, knowing she was right. I watched her walk towards the buffet table and lean over to speak to Joey’s ear, her back arched as she moved and I felt a funny tingle in my spine as she stood straight once more, walking towards me with a smile.
“Okay then, let’s go”
***
I followed Mike nervously up to the room, God only knows what this was about, I half expected him to drop a bombshell like he was dying or he had just discovered he had a 12 year old child in Scotland. Upon entering the room I sat down on the couch that Billie had spent the afternoon pining on. The bassist began pacing around the room with those great gangly legs of his,
“Good, err, nice room huh?”
“Yeah Mike, maybe you should take a seat huh?”
“Er yeah, oh god I’m sorry Ava”
I watched him sit down a cushion away from me; a small trickle of sweat ran down his temple,
“Mike” I whispered, “Please, your scaring me what on earth is wrong?”
He ran a hand across his thigh staring at his palms that were currently developing a small layer of sweat.
“Oh God…okay, err, well, I…I kinda realised that I have feelings for someone very close to me. Someone who I admire so much and…oh Jesus…okay…I…I am in love… with you Ava”
It was a bombshell all right, a mighty big one and as soon as it fell from his lips I froze. I couldn’t move. It must have been a good few minutes before Mike spoke again.
“Ava…please say something”
But what did he want me to say? What could I say?
I felt like I couldn’t breathe, the first time I had ever felt like this, even in a 24 inch corset. I stood up and swayed and my feet suddenly bolted. I ran, I ran down the stairs, skirts dragging behind me, the muted roar of Mike’s voice calling my name helplessly as I took off down the stairs. Mind blank, stumbling as I ran down the creamy marble and into the hall. I lurched into a random woman who looked at me in disgust before shouting an Italian curse after my path. I ran outside into the dark Venetian night, the doorman frowning at me in concern,
“Madame Ava?”
I ignored him as I ran unsteadily down the cobbles, stumbling forwards into the back of some poor individual as I turned to witness the doorman’s shocked face.
“Oof! Sorry…”
“It’s…hey”
I stared at Gregory whose face fell as his dark eyes glanced over my face.
“Ava…what’s? Christ what’s wrong?”
I don’t know why but I collapsed into his arms, I knew I was being overly dramatic maybe everything had got on top of me and had found some release in those bottles of Pinot Grecio.
“Hey, hey now, what is it? Come on”
“Oh Gregory, I’m in a mess”
He let go of me, pushing me backwards and stroking symmetrical lines down my decorated sleeves.
“I was just going back to the apartment; would you like to come with me for a coffee?”
I shook my head, “No, Gregory, I would love to but I mustn’t I…I need to get a hold of myself.”
The Italian nodded, leading me to a few stone steps that dropped to a small inlay in the canal.
I collapsed onto the step with him, my skirts flurrying around my ankles as I spoke,
“Why have you left the party?”
His shoulders slumped next to me, “I was tired, I wasn’t really enjoying myself all that much…how about you? What made you run into me like Cinderella on a tight deadline?”
I flinched.
“I…I seem to find myself in a mess Gregory”
“And why is that?”
Inhaling I felt him move closer to my side, I couldn’t lift my eyes to the man sitting next to me so patiently.
“Oh God…I…I…don’t know where to start I really don’t.”
The Italian shrugged again, “Start from where’s easiest Ava”
I stayed silent for a moment and tried to think were this had all started from, I inhaled and began to tell Gregory the same story of how I met Charles that I told Tre so many months ago now in Berkley.
He nodded, giving me a blank face of attention, not moving only to give me a smile as I described Billie and myself standing at the top of the Eiffel Tower when we first got back together. I poured my heart out to this stranger, but it felt good, he was neutral, he knew nothing of me or Billie Joe, Gregory spent far too much time listening to Kylie Minogue than Green Day – That’s what he claimed anyway.
I finished by telling him what had happened exactly 20 minutes ago.
The Italian turned to his feet after I had exhausted my verbal skills.
“Me and this Michael should talk, we have a lot in common it seems.”
I sighed, “What do I do? When did life become so complicated? Once all I had to worry about was getting to my job on time and loosing My Baudelaire Poetry. When was being happy so hard?”
Gregory laughed, “I was like that once Ava, all I cared about was photographing beauty and thinking about love and wine and classical glamour. All life and love and poetry Ava, in this world, it doesn’t exist as we dream it. When it comes down to it, Carrie from Sex and the City is right, In this day and age Snow White would wake herself up, go and get a job, a health care package and a baby from the sperm bank. Prince Charming doesn’t exist anymore Ava, Mr. Darcy is long gone…”
We both laughed, the sound echoing across the insensate lapping water from the canal.
“…Having said that… Mr. Armstrong sounds like the closest thing you’ll ever going to get. After all that shit with Charles and that Sarah girl, you two belong together darling…and…you know, since you became so freaked about Michael it also shows how much you love Senor Billie.”
I smiled, “I know but dear Gregory guardian angel what do I do about Mike?”
The Italian chuckled, “Michael…I suppose if he had a brain he’d realise by now that he’s kind of…well blown it…”
I cringed, “Oh God…”
Gregory chuckled, “You should go talk to him, he’s probably in your suite rocking himself to sleep with a Ben and Jerry’s if he’s anything like me.”
I smiled.
“Thank you Gregory how can I pay you back for being so kind?”
“I think you know the answer to that one…”
“Does it involve a camera?”
Gregory chuckled, “Or invite me to your wedding”
He gave me a kiss on the cheek as I laughed, then he turned and walked off into the Venetian darkness.
I blinked as he disappeared into the dark with his black velvet costume.
This felt so surreal; I wasn’t quite sure whether Gregory did exist at that moment in time or whether it was an hallucination of my morals and conscience coming back to scrutinize my life.
Nah…of course my conscience would appear as Charles Baudelaire wouldn’t it? Not some very flamboyant gay Italian photographer…
He chuckled, running a hand through blonde spikes after I let go of him in a relief that he was alive and well…and apparently in Venice.
“Er, hey”
“Does Billie know you’re here? He’s been worried sick about you Mike, I can’t believe you just took off and…every one is looking for you…”
I was babbling a million things at once as I tried to make my way out of the hall, praying Billie was in the hotel room.
“Ava…”
I turned, Mike’s hand firmly placed on my forearm.
“I’ve err…if you’re planning on going to the suite, don’t bother I’ve just been up there, he isn’t in there”
My shoulders sank as Mike slowly removed his grip.
“What are you doing here?”
“I need to talk to you”
“You flew all the way out here on a whim to talk to me?” I asked frowning under my tall hair.
Mike shrugged awkwardly a guilty smile on his face, “My cell is broken”
I sighed, nervously leading him to an empty table in the corner of the room.
***
I followed Ava nervously, my eyes fixated on the visible nape of her white neck. I so badly wanted to reach out and touch her, she looked so beautiful, so beautiful. I knew it was her straight away, sitting at the bar, that man staring at her in a want that I could sympathize with. She looked so magnificent, her dress showing her perfect shoulders and long neck, her hair falling delicately around her face. I had to just look at her for a moment or to, take in every part of her because I had a feeling that after pouring my heart into her hands she wouldn’t be the same around me ever again.
The table she led us to was deserted, a vase of white flowers sat in the centre, surrounded by abandoned empty glasses. She sat down first, turning to face me, bringing her skirts over the sides of the wooden chair making her look like she was perching on a cloud. I was getting carried away, a mixture of nerves and a feeling of foolishness was rattling away at the back of my brain. Brown eyes met blue and my spine tingled, I glanced down at her hand that sat elegantly on top of the white tablecloth, the diamond sat comfortably on her finger. Billie had shown it to me in it’s box of course, but now it shone against her porcelain skin it looked more beautiful than ever.
It suited her, down the very last vintage blue sapphire, yes it was perfect, it was so perfect that it made me uneasy.
“So…err, Mike dear, what is this desperation that has driven you to fly out here?”
I shifted on my seat as she smiled at me; my mind was at point blank. How do you begin to tell someone that you’re in love with them so much it hurts every second of the day?
“I…well, I…I…I wanted to wish you and Billie congratulations…” I nodded at the rock on her finger which she glanced down to, brushing a hand across its gleaming surface in a pride that made my heart sink.
“Thank you Mike, the boys told me that you knew”
My body shuddered,
“But I don’t think you flew to Europe to tell me that did you?”
I shook my head, cursing my mouth that was slowly turning into a desert. I looked up at her face, her eyes shining in concern,
“Mike, what...?”
I didn’t let her finish, I grabbed her hand and pulled her from the chair, making for the exit as quick as possible.
“Wait! Mike wait!”
I turned around as she pulled her hand free from my grasp,
“I can’t just leave the boys…”
I sighed, “Ava, they’re fine, trust me”
She frowned slightly, “Even so, let me tell them we’re going to the room just in case”
I nodded, knowing she was right. I watched her walk towards the buffet table and lean over to speak to Joey’s ear, her back arched as she moved and I felt a funny tingle in my spine as she stood straight once more, walking towards me with a smile.
“Okay then, let’s go”
***
I followed Mike nervously up to the room, God only knows what this was about, I half expected him to drop a bombshell like he was dying or he had just discovered he had a 12 year old child in Scotland. Upon entering the room I sat down on the couch that Billie had spent the afternoon pining on. The bassist began pacing around the room with those great gangly legs of his,
“Good, err, nice room huh?”
“Yeah Mike, maybe you should take a seat huh?”
“Er yeah, oh god I’m sorry Ava”
I watched him sit down a cushion away from me; a small trickle of sweat ran down his temple,
“Mike” I whispered, “Please, your scaring me what on earth is wrong?”
He ran a hand across his thigh staring at his palms that were currently developing a small layer of sweat.
“Oh God…okay, err, well, I…I kinda realised that I have feelings for someone very close to me. Someone who I admire so much and…oh Jesus…okay…I…I am in love… with you Ava”
It was a bombshell all right, a mighty big one and as soon as it fell from his lips I froze. I couldn’t move. It must have been a good few minutes before Mike spoke again.
“Ava…please say something”
But what did he want me to say? What could I say?
I felt like I couldn’t breathe, the first time I had ever felt like this, even in a 24 inch corset. I stood up and swayed and my feet suddenly bolted. I ran, I ran down the stairs, skirts dragging behind me, the muted roar of Mike’s voice calling my name helplessly as I took off down the stairs. Mind blank, stumbling as I ran down the creamy marble and into the hall. I lurched into a random woman who looked at me in disgust before shouting an Italian curse after my path. I ran outside into the dark Venetian night, the doorman frowning at me in concern,
“Madame Ava?”
I ignored him as I ran unsteadily down the cobbles, stumbling forwards into the back of some poor individual as I turned to witness the doorman’s shocked face.
“Oof! Sorry…”
“It’s…hey”
I stared at Gregory whose face fell as his dark eyes glanced over my face.
“Ava…what’s? Christ what’s wrong?”
I don’t know why but I collapsed into his arms, I knew I was being overly dramatic maybe everything had got on top of me and had found some release in those bottles of Pinot Grecio.
“Hey, hey now, what is it? Come on”
“Oh Gregory, I’m in a mess”
He let go of me, pushing me backwards and stroking symmetrical lines down my decorated sleeves.
“I was just going back to the apartment; would you like to come with me for a coffee?”
I shook my head, “No, Gregory, I would love to but I mustn’t I…I need to get a hold of myself.”
The Italian nodded, leading me to a few stone steps that dropped to a small inlay in the canal.
I collapsed onto the step with him, my skirts flurrying around my ankles as I spoke,
“Why have you left the party?”
His shoulders slumped next to me, “I was tired, I wasn’t really enjoying myself all that much…how about you? What made you run into me like Cinderella on a tight deadline?”
I flinched.
“I…I seem to find myself in a mess Gregory”
“And why is that?”
Inhaling I felt him move closer to my side, I couldn’t lift my eyes to the man sitting next to me so patiently.
“Oh God…I…I…don’t know where to start I really don’t.”
The Italian shrugged again, “Start from where’s easiest Ava”
I stayed silent for a moment and tried to think were this had all started from, I inhaled and began to tell Gregory the same story of how I met Charles that I told Tre so many months ago now in Berkley.
He nodded, giving me a blank face of attention, not moving only to give me a smile as I described Billie and myself standing at the top of the Eiffel Tower when we first got back together. I poured my heart out to this stranger, but it felt good, he was neutral, he knew nothing of me or Billie Joe, Gregory spent far too much time listening to Kylie Minogue than Green Day – That’s what he claimed anyway.
I finished by telling him what had happened exactly 20 minutes ago.
The Italian turned to his feet after I had exhausted my verbal skills.
“Me and this Michael should talk, we have a lot in common it seems.”
I sighed, “What do I do? When did life become so complicated? Once all I had to worry about was getting to my job on time and loosing My Baudelaire Poetry. When was being happy so hard?”
Gregory laughed, “I was like that once Ava, all I cared about was photographing beauty and thinking about love and wine and classical glamour. All life and love and poetry Ava, in this world, it doesn’t exist as we dream it. When it comes down to it, Carrie from Sex and the City is right, In this day and age Snow White would wake herself up, go and get a job, a health care package and a baby from the sperm bank. Prince Charming doesn’t exist anymore Ava, Mr. Darcy is long gone…”
We both laughed, the sound echoing across the insensate lapping water from the canal.
“…Having said that… Mr. Armstrong sounds like the closest thing you’ll ever going to get. After all that shit with Charles and that Sarah girl, you two belong together darling…and…you know, since you became so freaked about Michael it also shows how much you love Senor Billie.”
I smiled, “I know but dear Gregory guardian angel what do I do about Mike?”
The Italian chuckled, “Michael…I suppose if he had a brain he’d realise by now that he’s kind of…well blown it…”
I cringed, “Oh God…”
Gregory chuckled, “You should go talk to him, he’s probably in your suite rocking himself to sleep with a Ben and Jerry’s if he’s anything like me.”
I smiled.
“Thank you Gregory how can I pay you back for being so kind?”
“I think you know the answer to that one…”
“Does it involve a camera?”
Gregory chuckled, “Or invite me to your wedding”
He gave me a kiss on the cheek as I laughed, then he turned and walked off into the Venetian darkness.
I blinked as he disappeared into the dark with his black velvet costume.
This felt so surreal; I wasn’t quite sure whether Gregory did exist at that moment in time or whether it was an hallucination of my morals and conscience coming back to scrutinize my life.
Nah…of course my conscience would appear as Charles Baudelaire wouldn’t it? Not some very flamboyant gay Italian photographer…