This Beat Is Sick

I sat there waiting for Nick to get here. I called him up and told him I needed to talk to him. I wasn't sure how I felt. I was mad and upset but wanted to bawl my eyes out.

I ran a hand over my stomach. There's no way I was going to look good soon in anything in my closet. I didn't know what I was going to do.

I didn't know who the father was either. Joe or Nick's.

I felt like a slut. And technology I was one.

I always messed things up but whoa... I really messed up big time now.

Mary Jane walked into the room with a smirk on her face.

“I've got them both where I want them” she says.

I didn't say thing. I nibbled on a cookie and tapped my nails against the counter top.

Mary Jane was fooling around with Kevin now too. I didn't know how she did it. One of these days it was going to crash on her. I knew it. Joe would find out.

“I'm pregnant” I say cutting into her rant, which I wasn't paying attention of.

“What?” she asks almost dropping her bottle bud light.

“There's a fucking baby in my stomach!”

Mary Jane just looked at me. I couldn't tell if she felt sorry for me or had thoughts of pity.

“I don't know who's baby it is!” I started to feel angry.

“Its probably Nick's” Mary Jane says simply.

“You don't know that! It could be Joe's”

“I doubt that”

“But it could be. Mary Jane, I don't want to be pregnant”

“Maybe you're not pregnant. I mean the tests are wrong sometimes”

“No....I'm pregnant....there's no doubt about that”

“I'm betting its Nick's baby. You slept with him first”

“That doesn't matter. It could be his or Joe's. You don't know. Its not like the baby is in you” I growled

“Calm down...you could I don't know get an abortion or something”

“Joe said no”

“Joe? You talked to Joe about this? That was stupid. Guys shouldn't have a say in it. You should have talked to me first”

“He was there! Ok! He was there when I was taking the test. And he has a right to know! He could be the father”

“But you don't know that”

“I hope he is” I whispered.

I got up and left the room. I paced in the living room. Did I really hope it was Joe's?

It was a half hour later when Nick finally came. I sat down on the couch with him and he leaned in and kissed me. I pulled away.

“Aw what's wrong?” Nick whines.

“Not right now...” I say.

“Do you want to skip the foreplay and go right into it?” he asks with a playful smirk.

“No...we need to talk” I say.

“Talk? You're not breaking up with me are you? Because we aren't really going out...” he trailed off.

“No...its not that...”

“Because things with me and Selena are pretty good...” he says trailing off again.

I sighed. “We have a problem”

He looked at me seriously. Did he sense what I was going to say next? “A problem?”

“Yeah...a big problem” I felt like I was going to cry. Why couldn't I just spit it out.

“Soo....what is the problem....” he asks.

“I took a test...” I started.

“No...” he says.

“A couple tests....and I'm pregnant” I say.

He stood up and ran his fingers through his curly hair. Which really, I thought needed to be trimmed.

“Are you sure?” he asks.

“Yeah...”

“Fuck...how could this happen?” he asks.

“You didn't use protection”

“And that's my fault?! I never saw you hand me a condom, Farbella! Don't make this my fault”

“It kinda is! You should have used something”

“This isn't my fault at all...and I can't deal with this. I already said things were going great with me and Selena. I like you Farbella, but this...this can't happen right now...”

He walked right out that door. I didn't try to stop him. He wasn't my boyfriend after all. I couldn't believe this was happening. I was really having a baby. And I had no one to help me.