I Don't Want It, I Just Need It.

I hummed along to my iPod softly as my eyes scanned the page for what seemed like the hundredth time; tapping my pen lightly against the newspaper rested on my knees, my feet against the plush couch cushions. I was beginning to get a headache and I was still nowhere nearer understanding the jargon. After two hours pouring over the property pages, the thought of staying, forever, on Olivers couch, was becoming more and more appealing.

"One more time, I whispered in her ear, you better fear me dear, for I am...

I jumped a mile as someone pulled my hood from my head, and my headphones from my ears.

"Verity Ann Palmer!"

I glanced up to see Thomas beaming down at me, his face upside down from my awkward position. I was; until that moment at least, yet to be reacquainted with the younger Sykes brother. He'd been off skating in New York. The kid lived the dream these days, or so it seemed.

Unsuprisingly his camera was clutched in his hands, his finger already poised above the shoot button.

"Tom! No!" I whined as the flash blinded me. He laughed the giddy laugh of a naughty child as I clasped my hands across my face, peeking at him through the gaps between my fingers. "Please Tom I'm happy to see you an' all but..."

" 've got four years t'catch up on Verity" he exclaimed, diving clumsily onto the couch next to me and snapping once again. "Besides, 've got skills now love. Madskil..."

"Leave 'er alone"

I twisted to see Oliver wandering into the living room, wrapped cosily in his grey woolen coat. Hayley, wrapped protectively around him.

"D'ye ever wear clothes love" It was more of a statement than a question.

Only your boyfriends I thought to myself. Resisting the urge to roll my eyes. The smirk on Tom's face told me he knew I was biting my tongue. Even after years apart he knew me better than anyone, maybe even more than his elder sibling.

I shrugged, and tugged at the hem of the purple Drop Dead hoodie I'd thrown on that morning. Shifting awkwardly on the couch in an attempt to cover myself a little more and wincing as my iPod fell heavily from my lap, to the floor.

"Careful" Thomas sighed, "Butterfingers. Ye don' wanna... good choice"

He chuckled, eyeing the cover of Count Your Blessings illuminated on he screen. Before waving it in Olivers direction. Hayley scoffed loudly, her bright red lips twisting into a smirk. Whilst her boyfriend nodded proudly, pulling himself from her clutches and grabbing my iPod from his brother.

"It was on shuffle" I mumbled. My cheeks burning as I watched him scroll through my albums. His lips twitching into an uncertain grin.

"Ye've got all of our recor..."

"Jay sent me them" I interupted hurridly. Rising to my feet and brushing the crumbs; from the toast I'd been munching on, from my lap. "He thought I'd..."

"Ye don' 'av t'lie Vee"

I shot him a glare but my expression softened as I noticed the smile creeping across his lips. It made a nice change from his smirk. It was a smile, the smile, he saved only for this. Maybe, even me. "I know ye love us"

I rolled my eyes and picked up my plate from the coffee table, fetching the newspaper from where it had slid to the floor. And clambered awkwardly across Tom's legs to the kitchen.
"What are ye doin' with the..."

"I'll sort my dishes when I get back" I interupted, waving my pack of Marlboros in the air and nodding to the spiral staircase which led to the roof terrace.

&&

"'e meant the paper"

I raised my eyebrow at Thomas as he joined me on the terrace. His arms holding something behind his back, an unlit cigarette dangling from his lips. "'e meant what are ye doin' wi' the newspaper"

"I know" I smiled weakly, "the raised eyebrows for that"

He groaned with a roll of his eyes as I pointed at his cigarette. "Don' ye start too" He sighed, taking a seat next to me. His legs joining mine in their dangling over the edge of the building. "Ol already..."

I held up my hands in mock surrender and nodded toward my lighter. Smiling as he grabbed it and quickly ignited the end of his cigarette.

"I'm eighteen now. Nineteen this year" He mumbled, concentrating on lighting his smoke. His eyes crossing a little as he peered at the tip. "I''m a..."

"Real boy?" I giggled, nudging him playfully in the side. My laugh growing louder as he choked a little, the cigarette dropping from his mouth to his lap. Oliver and I had taken to calling Tom Pinocchio in the early days of Bring Me The Horizon. On the count that he used to sneak out, to every show. Carol and Ian none the wiser; or so we thought. His baby blues were good for more than just making girls swoon.

"Still learning eh Baby Sykes?"

"Hush it Baby Palmer" He retorted. Picking his cigarette from where it had fallen, and rubbing the ash into his jeans with his thumb. "Or I won' give ye these"

My eyes grew wide as he produced a pair of grey jogging bottoms from his side and nodded toward my goose pimpled legs. My legs, which now, suddenly felt a lot colder. I snatched the bottoms from him with one hand and grabbed him toward me with the other; pulling him into the clumsiest of hugs.

"You. Baby Sykes....Tom. Are a life saver"

He smiled a little and shrugged his shoulders, as I jumped to my feet and pulled the joggers on. "Ye must've really wanted t'get outta there fast. If ye willin' t'sit outside 'alf naked in February"

I pulled the drawstrings tight around my waist, knotting them three times to secure them. Before returning to Toms side, retrieving my cigarette he'd so kindly held for me. "Hayley and I don't get on, I guess" I shrugged, flicking the ash from the tip of my Marlboro and resting my head on Thomas' shoulder.

"'ayley an' anyone don't get on too well" I could feel him watching me intently as I exhaled, he'd obviously felt my body tense against his own.

"She and Oliver seem to get along just fine" I cursed myself the instant the words passed my lips, for sounding so incredibly childish. I could see Tom fighting his smirk, again.

"'s nothin' special" He reasoned, moving to wrap his arm loosely around my waist as I began to shiver. I'd forgotten how awfully cold Sheffield became in the winter. I imagined we were only a few degrees away from snow. "'s not like they've been datin' f'..."

"Five months, Oli told m..."

"More like minutes love" He guffawed.

"Oliver said they'd been..."

"Bullshit" Tom chuckled, choking a little on his cigarette. "'s utter bullshit. They met at 'is party on New Year. 'e's not been wi' anyone more than a coupla weeks since..." He stopped abruptly, his arm dropping heavily from around me. He winced a little as his hands scraped the concrete, but his expression remained ashen. "since..."

"We can talk about it Tom" I mumbled, "Besides, it's been four years, I doubt Olivers relationship issues have anything to do with..."

"'av you?"

"Have I what?" I asked, a little more sternly than I'd intended. I shook my head as he fidgeted awkwardly next to me. His eyes squinting as he chose his words carefully, his mouth twitching rapidly from a smirk to a frown. "I didn't mean it to come out like that, I just..."

"Ye know" He said, chewing on the inside of his cheek. "'m sure LA was full of suitable bachelors for a beautiful lass like you. Ye find anyone special t' pass the time wit..."

"I'm sure both Oliver and I have had our little...things. And I'm pretty sure that Oliver not keeping a girlfriend longer than five minutes has nothing to do with me, and all to do with the fact he's a bit of a mansla..."

"Why did ye come 'ome?"

A lump appeared in my throat within milliseconds, and my heart was just a little way behind. Beating loudly, painfully from my chest. I'm sure, if the roar of the traffic from the street below and the calls from the birds above, were muted, you'd be able to hear each beat. Clear as day.

"I.." I choked as I tried to gather my thoughts, gather myself. "There was... Jake needs me, him and 'Chelle...why are you looking at me like that?"

"'e... I know 'e didn' tell ye" Tom mumbled, his hands wringing together in his lap. His cigarette lolling precariously between his lips as he spoke. "'e told me 'e didn' wanna worry ye, so 'e..."

I stubbed my cigarette against the ground and pulled my knees to my chest. Moving awkwardly, clumsily, as to rise to my feet. My hand clutching the cold, metal railing as I stumbled on my way up.

"Verity I didn' mean t'..."

"What if Jay told me?" I spat, "Does he consult you on our every conversation Tom, does he ask your permission to..."

Tom was peering up at me, his expression heavy with concern. Or so it seemed through rapidly tearing eyes.

"I didn' mean t'strike a nerve, I jus.. Ye were in LA, doin' what he love. An' now he back 'ere, crashing on Oli's couch and cotchin' about doin' nothin' Ye seemed so 'appy when I saw ye in L..."

I took a sharp intake of breath, hiding my face behind the sleeves of the hoodie and rocking slowly back and forth, on the balls of my feet.

"We don't talk about that Tom, I told you to pretend you hadn't seen me. You promised me you wouldn't tell Oli that I came, you..."

"An' I didn't. I 'avent. 'e's got no clue" Tom interupted.

I heard him climbing to his feet, I felt his arms wrap around me. But nothing could stop the tears from rolling silently down my cheeks, my body shaking with muted sobs.

"But ye should tell 'im ye were there. Ye should tell 'im ye showed"

" I came back to tell him" I whispered, resting my forehead against Thomas' shoulder as his arms tightened around me. "I came back to tell him everything"