I Don't Want It, I Just Need It.

I smiled gratefully as Sheep set his laptop down on the table and slid into the booth opposite me. His plate piled high with greasy, cheesy, french fries and a large cup of steaming coffee clutched in his hand.

“Are ye sure you don’t want any…”

I waved him away and nodded toward the unopened bottle of water to my right. “Baby steps Sheep, baby…”

“Ye still can’t keep anything down then?”

I shook my head silently in answer and pulled his laptop toward me, opening it quickly and bashing my finger a little too enthusiastically against the power button.

“Would ye not do that, theres important stuff on there I’ll ‘av you know”

“Ye porn is not important Sheep” I mumbled, peering intently at the screen, praying silently for it to hurry the hell up.

“I am ye tour manager Sykes, theres important stuff on there, theres ye schedules and ye…”

“Porn” I interrupted, a small smirk creeping across my lips as I noticed him fidget awkwardly from the corner of my eye. “ ‘s just fuck loads’a porn”

He grunted something under his breath, but it barely reached my ears. Or if it did, I paid it little attention as the screen illuminated in front of me. The familiar windows screen blinding me a little.

“Ye should really get a mac ye know”

“You, should really be paying me more”

I rolled my eyes and punched in Sheeps password. He was in no way a man of mystery. A fact that by the expression that flashed across his face the moment he heard the start up music, was new to him.

“How did ye…”

I tapped the tip of my nose in reply and started tapping manically at the keyboard. My fingertips moved seamlessly across each letter and words were appearing on the screen before I’d even had time to think them; or so it seemed.

“What is it that ye actually doing Ol?” He asked as I fidgeted clumsily in my seat, trying to fish my wallet from my back pocket; an act that was by no means easy when sat down. “Ye seemed pretty adamant to…”

“Damage control Sheep, damage control” I didn’t need to look up to know that the guy was confused, his brow would be furrowed and no doubt his mouth would open and close a few times as he thought of an appropriate question. “ ‘ve fucked up Sheep. An’ theres one thing, well…one place that’ll make it righ’”

“Now I understand completely Oliver” He quipped sarcastically, “Thank you for that stellar…”

“Paris” I mumbled. “I need t’ show Verity ‘ow much I love ‘er, I need a romantic gesture an’ Paris is…”

“A little cliché don’t ye think. Could ye not think of anywhere more…”

“ ‘s where ‘er Mum and Dad met, ‘s where ‘er Dad moved to t’ become an artist in the seventies an’ is where ‘er mum happened t’ be ‘olidaying in 1983” I sighed leaning back in the seat as I waited for the page to load. “No matter what ‘appened wi’ em, ‘s always thought of it as the best love story ever. ‘er Dad was ‘er idol an’ er mum, well… ‘s loads’a places ‘er dad wan’ed t’ take ‘er to, places ‘e told ‘er about when she were young an’ I thought, ye know, she might…”

“Why don’t ye just tell her what happened? I’m sure she’ll understand” Sheep enquired, shoving a fistful of chips in his mouth as I looked on disdainfully. “I mean, she already knows right? She rang ye saying the two of ye need to…”

“I think she knows, I don’t know she knows” I argued lamely, trying to convince myself if nothing else. “Besides what ‘arm can a trip t’ Paris do, wha’s the worst she could sa…”

“You’ve not been on myspace have ye?”

I stopped dead in my tracks, letting my hands rest against the keyboard for a moment.
“’ve jus’ switched the thing on, give me a…”

“I’d look at that before ye go planning a romantic trip for two Ol”

I was logged in within a minute. It took mere seconds for me to understand what Sheep was talking about.

Nice hissy fit prick, bring me the horizon? Bring me the fucking tantrum more like. Grow some, yeah?

Oli man! Sick gig, choice bird, you got it made bro. Catch ya later SxElliott

Want
V. want-ed, want-ing, wants
Feel or have a desire for; want strongly: ‘He wants something a little different’

OMFGZZZZ! U R SUCH AN ‘EFFIN HOTTIE OLI, I TOUCHED UR HAND AND AHH, OH EM EFFF GEEE, WISH I WAS THAT BLONDE ^. BITCH! LOLZZZ, JK. CANT WAIT TO C U AGAIN KTHANXBIII XOXO KIMI KAOS

With each comment I read my eyes had grown a little wider and with each comment I read I‘d been unable to stop my hand from shaking that little bit more. But her comment had stopped my heart dead and I was left motionless, breathless, in front of the laptop. As I peered at the photo intently, wishing it to morph into someone else right in front of my eyes. For the hair not to be the shocking bright blonde that it was or for her cherry red lips not to be pouted in the seductive way that would have most men on their knees in an instant, I understood what Sheep had seen, and exactly what Curtis had meant.

Those three short lines spoken in a voice I still hadn’t managed to shake, the dozen or so words said with a smirk I was yet to forget; or so I imagined, could well be the mistake to break Veritys heart.

&&

I took a deep breath as the phone began to ring and rested back against the glass door of the phone box. My eyes scanned the various lewd adverts tacked to the wall opposite, but I couldn’t focus on anything and the distinct smell of piss rising from the floor was making me even more nauseous than the thought of explaining myself to Verity.

My heart raced as the ringing subsided and I heard a sharp intake of breath, only to falter a little, disappointed at the voice I recognised but didn’t expect. I stole a glance at the watch that hung heavy on my wrist, the time illuminated in neon green only making me feel worse. I thought she would be alone.

“Was wonderin’ when ye were gonna ring”

I nodded slowly at the sound of my brothers voice, growing a little embarrassed at the realisation that he; of course, couldn’t see my actions.

“What are ye doin’ wi’ Vee at this time?” I blurted.

Thomas’ uncertain chuckle did nothing to calm my nerves and though I hated to admit it, detested that I was even thinking of it. The worst flashed through my thoughts. I’d rip the kid limb from limb if he was…

“Were at a party Ol…well, we’ve been at a party” He mumbled quickly, of all the people who had witnessed my temper, Thomas was the only one who understood it. “Were jus’ getting’ ready t’ leave an…”

“Since when d’ye party with my girlfriend?”

“Since ‘er ride ‘ome left t’go on tour” The tone of his voice told me he didn’t appreciate all of my questions, or what they insinuated at least. ‘Baby Sykes’ was getting pissed, as rare an occurrence as a blue moon “ ‘m doin’ ye a favour Oliver, lord knows she needs a ride ‘ome tonight”

“ ‘s drunk aye?”

“ ‘s a party Ol”

“Put ‘er on Tom” I insisted, “Give the phone t’…”

“I can’t Ol, ‘s drank a lot, she’s….”

“Tom, I need to speak t’er, ye’ve gotta understand why I…”

“I don’t understand ye at all anymore Oliver” He interrupted sternly. It was the second time I’d been shocked at the tone of my so called ‘best friends’ in the past twelve hours, it was also the second time I had to admit to myself that they were right. “ ‘ow long ‘av ye spent tellin’ anyone that’ll listen ‘ow much ye love Vee, that ye’ve changed, that ye…Ye never gonna change Ol. Even when ye find the perfect girl, a girl stupid enough t’ think the exact same of you…ye go an’ fuck about ye go an’…”

“It were a kiss Thomas” I scolded, “A stupid fuckin‘…one fuckin’ kiss wi’ a girl I don’ even know”

“Ye’d chuck away everythin’ f’ girl ye don’ even know?”

“Put ‘er on Tom, I’ll explain it to Verity. I don’ need to explain myself t’ my little broth…”

“I can’t Ol. I don’ know where she is, she went t’ the bathroom an’…”

“ Well fuckin‘ find ‘er mate, ‘m gonna fix everythin’ Tom. ‘m gonna talk t’ verity, ‘m gonna…”

“Not tonight ye not”

I couldn’t help the hollow chuckle escaping my lips or the bemused smirk tugging at the corners of my mouth. “An’ why would that be Tom? Ye can’t find ‘er, ‘m sure ye can ‘av a look an’…Ye gonna stop me…ye gonna…”

“ ‘ve got ‘er phone don’t I Oliver” He replied with a laugh similar to my own, “an’ Jake sure as hell won’t let ye talk to ‘er on the…”

“Jake knows?”

“Everyone fuckin’ knows man. Everyone knew before Verity! She still doesn‘ believe it, she still trusts that ye‘d never do that” A large, uncomfortable lump was rising rapidly in my throat and my stomach twisted painfully in the way in which it had been doing all evening, all morning. “ ‘s been goin’ through a lot o’ shit ye can’t even begin to imagine Oliver. ‘s been tryin’ t’ tell ye, but ye never there, ye’ve left ‘er t’….” He paused as a loud incoherent screech broke our conversation and no doubt shattered the eardrums of anyone unfortunate enough to be there. “ ‘old on a minute would ye”

“Tom, I need t’….”

I heard Thomas mumble Veritys name and what could only be described as a ‘kafuffle’ ensue. I could tell her words were incredibly slurred and I knew from the way in which Thomas was moaning at her, that she had more than just a slight sway going on.
“She’s drank a whole lot Ol, I don’ think this is the…”

“Put ‘er on Tom. I don’t care if she’s fuckin’ unconcious, I’ve gotta tell ‘er what I…”

My words trailed as I heard a deep voice punctuating that of my brother and girlfriend. One I vaguely recognised, but couldn’t place; A thick Yorkshire lilt with no face that I could recall. And the furrow in my brow only deepened as the three of them were joined by another, high pitched and particularly irate voice.

“If tha’s fuckin’ Oliver Sykes, ye tell ‘im ‘m gonna rip ‘is balls off an’…”

“ ‘m takin’ ‘er home” The deep voice interrupted, “Vee love, grab ye coat an’ I’ll…”

“Who the fuck is tha’? Put ‘er on Tom. Now”

“Ol ‘s really isn‘…”

“Oliver” Her voice was louder than my ringing ears could handle, clearer than I had expected; had I expected her to talk to me at all. If she was willing to talk to me maybe she really didn’t believe what people were telling her. For a brief moment I contemplated whether she would believe me, over them. “’s at you?”

“Who are ye with Vee?”

“Ye weeeeeee brother. Why are people sayin‘ that ye‘ve…?”

“Last I ‘eard my brothers voice ‘ad barely broken. Who’s the lad Veri…”

“Like I said, everything’s changing Ol and ye not ‘ere…last I…” Her words trailed and I heard her sigh loudly, I could imagine the sigh running through her whole body. Things like this exhausted her, I, had been exhausting her.

“Who, is the guy Verity?”

“….last I ‘eard I didn’ ‘av t’ tell ye everythin’ I do, because you sure as hell don‘. I tried t‘ tell ye something‘ but ye don’t listen, ye never listen anymore ye…” She continued, “last I ‘eard ye…”

“I was what Verity, what was I…”

“Ye trusted me, Oliver. Because we trusted each other”

I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment as I let her words process, pinching the bridge of my nose between my finger and thumb as I let them sink in. It was then that I realised how stupid I’d been, it was then that I realised the opportunity to bluff my way out of this was long gone. I’d admitted the kiss without even saying the words, my actions had made me a marked man.

“ ‘s only one reason that would change. That you would change” She took a deep breath and I did the same. Collapsing back against the door of the phone box and sliding a little way down the glass, hugging my knees to my chest with my free arm and letting my head bow forward. “Tell me Ol, was she worth…”

A loud beep cut her short and the line went dead.