Unseen Love

I watched her leave still trying to catch my breath. As soon as I heard the front door slam shut I got up and decided to take a shower. I felt so fucking nasty. I rushed over to the shower and quickly got under the nice hot water. I’m not crazy like some people and try to burn my fucking skin off because that happened nor am I going to scrub my skin off. I just want a normal shower. I washed my body clean of her slimy touch even though it is locked in my memory forever. After I finished I got out of the shower and got dressed in some sweat pants and a muscle shirt. I fell asleep wondering what my life would be like if my family wasn’t so fucked up and if I was actually cool.

I woke up to the annoying buzzing sound of the alarm clock. I forced my aching body up and got a shower. I got dressed and did my make up before heading down stairs praying I would not see my mom on the way out.

“Frankie, are you not going to say goodbye to me this morning?” MY mother asked in a sickenly sweet tone.

“I’m sorry, mom.”

I walked over to her knowing running would not prove to be a good idea for me. When I stood in front of her she slapped me hard across the face. I stumbled backwards slightly. She hit me a few more times in the stomach before leaving for work. I went back upstairs and applied my make up darker so it would cover the now forming bruises and left for school. I missed homeroom completely and went to first block.

I sat there through fist block daydream. I thought about what life would be like once high school was over. When I was old enough to leave home. When I finally told my mom to fuck off, but that one would never happen. I still love my mom even though she beats me. The bell finally rang signaling second black and I slowly got up and gathered my stuff holding it tightly against my chest hoping that would keep tem from being knocked on the floor. Lets just say that didn’t help.

I was pushed down onto the floor. My books flew across the hallway and a foot collided with my lower back. I whimper lightly and felt the foot raise up off my back and come back down with twice as much force. From then on it was a blur of kicks, stomps and in the end a few punches. I laid there a few moments longer after he left and tried to pull myself together and control the tears building up in my eyes. Why did Gerard do this to me? I love him and he fucking hates me. He beats me up I should hate him to, but I don’t. Maybe that’s why he does it because I don’t hate him and he doesn’t want a fags love. I’m sorry Gerard, but I will always love you.