Homophobia Is Gay

It’s strange, I had never had to think about it before, never had to wonder if there was anything different, but nothing ever felt right.

I was the school bike everyone had got with me, even some of the teachers, but yet none of it felt real to me. I was lost completely and everything was alien.

I had a group of four friends; Eliza, Adrreinne, Jamia and then there was me Alicia. We were the coolest girls in school. I know that sound so lame and big headed of me but it was true. Every guy wanted to get with us every girl wanted to be us, and we were okay with that.

This one week Eliza had got us tickets to this gig by a guy she was currently seeing, it was cool a free night out.

Jamia and I had arranged for her to come over to mine and my mums flat an hour before hand to pick out outfits.

She came round on time and we were both in my room, we’d finally decided on a cute tutu and tights and not just the tops we were having trouble with. They had to be black so that cute down like, 5 of my 30 tops! We were in trouble and we only had about 20 minutes to leave and we still had to do our make-up.

I took another top of and flung it in the steady pile of rejected clothes.

“Here try this one.” She said as she flung a black and pink top over that had punk splattered across the front. I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled.

“Yep I look hot!” I said then turned to her. “Now you, cause I look so good your top doesn’t cut it girlfriend.” I said in a fake prep girl voice.

We both laughed as she took her top off.

I just stopped laughing and stared at her, I’d never noticed the way her body curved or how her breasts were perfectly cupped. Or how her toned torso would move as she searched through the pile of cloths on my bed.

I walked over to her as her back was towards me, ass in air, I put my arms around her waste and I felt her jump in my arms. I still held on and whispered in her ear.

“Turn Around”

Slowly she did so, not making any noise at all.

When she was facing me I pushed a lock of her hair out of her eyes and then also noticed how they sparkled.

I leaned forward and crashed my lips onto hers. I started kissing her slowly, she didn’t kiss back but I just carried on. Then suddenly she started to kiss back forcefully and fully, I felt her lips on mine crashing down hard.

I pushed her back onto the bed and the thousand of cloths beneath us. She stopped for a second as she pulled a denim skirt with a big buckle from her back and laughed and she started to attack my lips pulling my shirt over my head. We carried on unaware of everything, including my mother walking into the room.

“Alicia! What the hell are you doing!” my mother screamed.

I looked up and saw her shaking in rage.

“Look mom, please listen to me…” I tried to explain but angry tears were pouring down her face.

“My own flesh and blood…”she mumbled so quietly I only got what she said. “Homo…filthy girl…damned to hell….evil….betrayal…”

“Mom I didn’t betray you! Please listen to me…” I tried again to explain.

Jamia had grabbed any old top and put it on. At this mum looked even more furious and started to scream.

“Get that top off, you filthy, devil worshiping girl!” She started towards her, I looked and saw Jamia had put on the top that my mom had given me for my birthday saying ‘Perfect Daughter.’

Jamia started to scream as my mom gabbed at her.

“Mom leave her the fuck alone!”

The world seemed to have stopped when I said that word; she looked at me like I was crazy.

She took a deep breath and with that said.

“Get out of this house. Just go as far away as you can. You have half an hour and I never want to see you again.”

I just stood there not knowing what to do. Jamia was crying behind me. My mom was my everything, very religious, but she was the only person who I cared for. I didn’t know were to go.

I turned to Jamia.

“Jam, I don’t know were to go. What do I do? Where can I go?”

Jamia calmed down for a bit.

“Stay with me, you know my parents wont care and they can try and help you. Just pack some stuff and we’ll go.”

She helped me pack some stuff when we were done I looked back at my room and thought this could be the last time I ever see it.

We went down stairs and went to the front door passing the living room were my mother and the priest was, I guess she called him over.

And I walked out the house trying not to looking at her.

At Jamia’s her parents were so sweet and when we told them what happened they were so understanding. I hated that and just wish my mom was the same.

Lots of things happen and over moths they tried to turn my mom around, nothing happened if not it made it worse. She was so furious that there daughter would do that and they didn’t care. And that they had the nerve to say she should let me home.

She didn’t, so I stayed with Jamia at her house. It was good there rules but her parents wouldn’t really strict and we stayed together but I never spoke to my mother.