My Heart's Always With You

It took a few seconds for what Matt had just said to fully hit Amber, and when it did it hit hard. She felt like she was in shock as she looked over at him with her eyes huge and her mouth hanging wide open. “M-m-married?” She mumbled.

“Well of course if it came to that I’d ask you the right way unless you didn’t want me too.” Matt felt like he should have just shut him mouth before saying anything about it.

“M-m-married? As in legally? As in my last name changing to Sanders?” She took a deep breath quickly. “Married? You’re serious?”

“Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes. Does that answer you questions?”

“Kinda. Matt we are 18 years old, okay well you’re 19 now but still.”

“So? Isn’t age just a number?”

“Well yeah but Matt I’m no where near ready to even start thinking about that.”

“Well Amber what do you suggest then? We are running out of time?”

“You think I don’t know that Matt? Do you honestly think that I don’t think about this everyday and how in the hell we are going to avoid whatever hell is most liking going to come? Well I do think about it! Every damn day along with everything else I’m trying to figure out right now!”

“Amber calm down.”

“I can’t freakin calm down!” Amber placed her elbows on the counter and placed her head in her hands as she thought. “Matt I can’t do this much more.” When the words reached his ears for the first time ever he became truly scared of losing her.

“Amber please don’t do this.”

“I have to! You should know that Matt! I cannot keep living like this! I can’t take no knowing!” She then turned and ran out of the kitchen. Matt followed her as she ran through the house.

“Amber!” She didn’t listen and he realized that she was going up to the attic. She stopped when she got there, leaving the door open. “Amber what are you talking about?” Matt asked as she turned the light on.

“I told you I can’t take it anymore!”

“We’ll find away. I really don’t want to lose you.”
“You think I’m talking about us?”

“Well what else would you be talking about?”

“Not knowing why we are supposed to hate each other. Matt this is the room where my dad keeps the Davis family records. I’m going to find out.”

“Wait a second.”

“What?”

“You scared the shit out of me. I thought you were saying that we were over.”

“I’d never say that. I guess I just freaked. I mean you just brought up marriage.”

“Which I still think that we should talk about.”

“You’re probably right. I freaked and I’m sorry.”

“It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have dropped that kind of bomb on you out of no where.”

“It was a little shocking.” Matt walked over and wrapped his arms around Amber, who returned the favor. “I love you though.”

“I love you too. Amber I know that we are young. I know that it isn’t exactly the best way to bring it up or the best scenario for it, but I think it is worth thinking about.”

“I’m not sure if that is the way I’d want to make a decision about getting married.”

“I guess you are right about that. So I have to ask is that a no forever or just a no not if this all blows up in our face?”

“This is embarrassing for me.” Amber hid her face against his shoulder to answer. “Matt I think I might want to marry you someday, but not right now. I’m too young and dumb and I don’t think I could do it. But if”

“I don’t like hearing you say but.”

“You might like this one. But if it comes to a point where we just can’t let ourselves see where this is going to go in a few years and we are being pulled apart are you serious about getting married?”

“I wasn’t kidding. You’d consider that?”

“Damn right I would.”
“So does this mean that we are possibly engaged or temporarily engaged?”

“Hell if I know.” They both started laughing before Amber looked him directly in the eyes. “Can we stay away from the E word for a while though?”

“Yeah. Now do you want to find out why we are supposed to hate each other?”

“I think we need to.” Matt let her go as she went to grab some sort of book that was on one of the many shelves. At that moment his mind was made up.

“What is that?”

“A book of records that my dad keeps.” She didn’t sound happy at all as she looked for something about why they families weren’t supposed to get along. “You wanna sit down?” She patted a spot next to her on the couch.

“Sure.” Matt’s arm wrapped around her shoulder as he watched her scan through the pages. He knew she’d found what she wanted the second the expression on her face changed. He figured he’d wait until she finished to ask, but that became hard when she suddenly slammed the book shut, threw it on the other end of the couch and ran from the room in tears. “Amber!”

There was no answer from her as she ran into her bathroom and dropped to the floor in front of her toilet and started throwing up. It was one of the most embarrassing moments ever for her but she couldn’t stop it. Matt didn’t ask instead he bent down next to her and moved the hair that had fallen over her shoulders. When she was done she didn’t move at first which only frightened him more. “Baby are you okay? What’s wrong?”

She still didn’t answer, instead she grabbed a washcloth from the linen cabinet in her bathroom and got it wet so that she could clean off her face. She had done that she looked at Matt with more tears threatening to fall out of her eyes. “I’m disgusted and I’m ashamed.” Her voice was shaky as she answered Matt’s question. He didn’t both asking another question at first, instead he pulled her into his arms.

“What did it say?”

“When we were born the sides were getting along, although you probably already knew that. It isn’t because of anything reasonable that we are supposed to hate each other. Matt the whole reason that he started everything is because he wanted to make sure that I never got close to you or any of the guys on your side. It’s all because he wanted to make sure I’d end up with Aaron!” The tears couldn’t be held back any longer by the end.

“You don’t need to be ashamed baby. You didn’t do anything.” Matt gently rubbed her back as he let her cry it out.

“But that is my dad. Matt all of everything is because I’m supposed to end up with Aaron. Because he doesn’t want me to be happy, he just wants to make sure that I end up with who he wants.”

“That isn’t your fault, and don’t you ever think that you can control that. And I’m not going to let you get hurt. Ever.”

“We are the only other ones. In there it is written that everyone else thinks he did it to allow more of the dirt bags to get what they deserved if there were two sides working separately.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“What do you mean it doesn’t matter?”

“I do not give a damn who wants me to stay away from you. I don’t give a damn what they say or what they do to keep me away. I won’t. I won’t stay away now, and I’m never going to stay away.”

“You’d go through all of this for me?”

“I’d walk through hell and back for you.”

“I’d do the same for you.” She paused. “I’m really sorry that I’m not ready to get married yet Matt.”

“Don’t ever be sorry for that either. You’ll be ready when you’re ready. And when the time comes I promise you that I won’t just ask you that way. I don’t want to ask you to marry me because it might be the only way people will back off.”

“I need to brush my teeth.” This drew a laugh from Matt as he let her go.

“I promise that we will figure this out Amber.” Matt promised as she finished.

“I know. The question just remains how?”

“Hell if I know that yet. Thus saying we will figure this out.”

“It’s just hard to think about. It’s going to be hell.”

“Something keeps screaming that hell is the light way to put it.”

Amber went back into her bedroom and fell backwards on her bed with a groan. “We are so screwed.” She placed her hands over her face.

“Well we can look at it this way, at least we have each other.” Matt laid down next to her as she looked over at him. “And you have to admit it’s been fun.” The complete look of being serious on Matt’s face caused a laugh to escape her mouth.

“I think fun is an understatement. After all the stuff we’ve done we should have gotten caught by now. It’s actually pretty hilarious when you think about it.”

“And after all the times we’ve all ganged up on Aaron you think he’d figure it out by now.” Matt laughed after he said that.

“We could kiss in front of him and he’d still be so full of himself that he wouldn’t catch on. Maybe we should try it.”

“It might be our luck that it would be the one time that he decides to pay attention.”

“You’re right.”

“I usually am.”

“We really got ourselves into a mess didn’t we?”

“A giant mess.” Matt decided to ask her something that he’d been wanting to. “Hey Amber the band has a gig tonight do you want to come?”

“Are you kidding?! Of course I do!”

***

“Amber!” Jimmy ran over and hugged Amber that night we she and Matt arrived where Avenged’s gig was.

“Hi Jimmy! You should let me go please. You are hugging me too tight. Can’t breath right.” This made Matt roll his eyes and shake his head at Jimmy.

“Sorry.” Jimmy apologized letting go before he ran off to the other side of the room.

“Jimmy is always crazy like that. Just a heads up.” Zacky warned with a laugh as he messed with his guitar

“I find Jimmy funny.” Amber laughed.

“Thanks!” Jimmy called as he drank more of the redbull in his hand.

“We don’t scare you at all?” Brian questioned looking up at her. “I mean with all the complete randomness?”

“Brian honestly, Alyce has been my best friend since birth. Nothing about being random scares me.” Amber sat down next to Matt as his arm wrapped around her.

“That’s good then.” Johnny chipped in while he played with his bass.

“Guys do you have to bombard her with stuff?” Matt asked.

“It makes things more fun.” Jimmy answered.

“Guys we gotta get out there in about five minutes.” Zacky announced standing up.

“I’ll see you after the show.” Amber kissed Matt’s cheek and disappeared out into the crowd. She couldn’t wait to see them play. The didn’t disappoint her either. “That was awesome!” She hugged Matt after they got off stage.

“Thanks!” He smiled at her.

“I don’t want to see anything mushy. I do not feel like puking.” Brian complained as he put his guitar in it’s case.

“I back Gates.” Zacky laughed.

“No fear then. We are leaving.” Matt told them as he grabbed Amber’s hand. “See you guys later!” He called as they walked out with Amber.

“So you are coming back to my place right?” Amber asked as they got in Matt’s car.

“I don’t know. I kind of stink Amber. I need a shower and stuff.”

“You have a change of clothes at my house. And I have a shower that works you know?”

“You don’t want me to leave do you?”

“No. I want to spend as much time with you as I can before everyone gets back.” She turned to look at him and pouted.

“Okay I’ll stay! Just don’t use that face!”

“Deal!”

“You are too easy to make happy you know that?”

“I know. And I don’t care.”
Later that night when Matt walked out of Amber’s bathroom she was sitting on her bed with two plates of pizza. “I got bored, so I made food.” She shrugged and looked back at the TV screen.

“Well thank you.” Matt sat down next to her and grabbed the second plate. “So what are we watching?”

“There isn’t really anything on except music videos. Is that cool with you?”

“Yup.” Neither of them knew what time they fell asleep that night, or maybe morning. But when Amber woke up she looked at the futon where Matt was asleep. At first everything seemed 100% normal and then she remembered everything that had happened the day before and that it was the last day they had alone. Her family was going to be coming back the following evening.

“Did I really suggest that we get married if all hell breaks loose or was that a dream?” Matt asked suddenly still sounding half asleep.

“It wasn’t a dream. It happened yesterday. Along with finding out the reason why we are supposed to hate each other.”

“Wow and that didn’t change anything?”

“Not at all.”

“I’ll be damned. I would have thought that it might, just a little bit.”

“Nope. Not a bit. Hey today is our last day of freedom.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Then Amber’s phone went off with a text message from Alyce.

Since it is the last night before everyone gets back do you and Matt want to hang out with us tonight? Amber knew that when Alyce said “us” she meant herself and Kellan. Amber looked at Matt with a smile.

“Alyce wants to know if we want to hang out with her and Kellan tonight. Do you want to?” She asked.

“Sounds fun to me.”

“Okay. I’ll let her know then.”

Sounds like a plan.
“I can’t believe it’s already almost over.”

“I know. It’s hard to believe. Come on, I need breakfast. I don’t know why though. I’m not a morning person.” Matt followed Amber downstairs and into the kitchen. Once the kitchen was in sight Amber got a running start so that with her socks and the tile floor she could slide part of the way across the kitchen. Unfortunately when she did she fell flat on her butt. “Ow.” She complained after landing.

“You okay?” Matt asked as he tried to hide the laughter.

“Yeah but can you help me up?”

“Sure.” Matt walked over and reached his hand out to help her up. As Amber pulled herself up she slipped and fell back down, this time bringing Matt with her. “There is never a dull moment with you.” He laughed.

“Yeah no kidding. You probably wish there was now and then.” She laughed

“Nah. It makes things more fun.” This time Amber stood up and Matt followed her. “So what should we expect tonight?”

“With Alyce and Kellan there is no telling. Hell she might even have gotten a cow or a llama by now!”

“She wouldn’t really do that would she?”

“It’s Alyce.”

“Point proven.” Matt walked up to Amber and kissed her suddenly.

“What was that for?”

“I don’t know. I just felt like doing it.”

“Well I’m glad you did.”

“So am I.”

“I love you Matt.”

“And I love you Amber.” She smiled and wrapped her arms around him, just staying like that for the longest time. Little did they know the plan that Alyce already had formed. They had absolutely no idea exactly what randomness was waiting for them on a night that was nothing like the beginning of the that morning. But that was the best part of the fun, the unexpected. And as Alyce would put it the llamas and shinny things!