Best Friends Means...

Well I can't regret,
Can't you just forget it?
I started something I couldn't finish
And if we go down,
We go down together
Best friend’s means,
Well best friends means

Well I can’t regret something he did. How? That didn’t make sense.
But I could never forget it. Everything we’ve been through, everything.
Fuck,
I thought, lying on my bed. I knew he had problems… who didn’t? Everyone has problems with something – whether it’s bullying, family, friends...
Friends.
I always thought that we’d stick together, me and him. He was more than my best friend; more like family. We were attached at the hip, always together, never apart. I couldn’t be without him, and he couldn’t be without me.
Well, that’s what best friend’s means, right?

And I've got a twenty-dollar bill
That says you're up late night starting
Fist fights versus fences in your backyard
Wearing your black eye like a badge of honour
Soaking in sympathy
From friends who never loved you
Nearly half as much as me

I remember that one time I lent him twenty dollars. We always lent out money to each other. But the day he paid me back, he told me about his anger that’d taken over him, hitting the fences in his backyard.
Then the same night, when they came to find him…
He already had bruised and bleeding knuckles, fresh wounds. He managed to fight them off. He always did.
Then, us walking around the park, smoking while he told me, and the way his beautiful hazel eyes danced in the night, his left eye blackened from the blow he received. The blow I was indebted for.
The next day, we went to college. In our Psychology class, our other friends were sympathising with him, drenching him in it. He seemed to ignore it, but I could tell.
They could never love him like I do.

Broken down in bars and bathrooms
All I did was what I had to
Don't believe me when I tell you
It's just what anyone would do
Take the time to talk about it
Think a lot and live without it
Don't believe me when I tell you
It's something unforgivable...

And I remember the one time, when I tried to commit suicide.
Like I said, everyone has problems… including me.
I loved the fact he found me, and not anyone else. I was spread out on my bathroom floor, he said, in that saintly voice of his, the night I woke up in the hospital room, the sheets tucking me in tight.
He asked why I did it.
“All I did was what I had to,” I said, my voice in monotone.
“Don’t do it to me again,” he said, sighing and resting his head in his hands. He looked so weak. Are angels ever weak?
“It’s what anyone would do.”
His head snapped up, his eyes burning with anger.
“And me? You were going to leave me! Did you ever think how I would feel?”
I didn’t answer him. Of course I thought about him. But he deserved better than me. He was… too good, to pure to hang around with someone like me.
“Unforgivable,” he muttered. His eyes were locked on mine; I didn’t break the connection we shared.
Unforgivable?

Well I can't regret,
Can't you just forget it?
I started something I couldn't finish
If we go down,
We go down together
Best friend’s means,
Well best friends means

How could I finish what I’d started? He’d never let me.
Ever.
He’d finish it for me, whether I like it or not.
It was his way.
But I believed that best friends go down together. He’s going down, because of me, on his own?
No fucking way.