Best Friends Means...

You never knew
Well I never told you...
Everything I know about breaking hearts
I learned from you, it's true
I've never done it with the style and grace you have
But I've made long term plans
Based on these mistakes

She never knew everything I did. Best friends, yeah, we were. That means I had to protect her from it all, the life here, the life we’d made.
She thought I was perfect, because of that… that I was her angel.
I’m far from an angel.
I never told her, what I’d done.

She used to date a lot. Before everything went… wrong. I did, too. But, she was different, Lizzie was different. She didn’t date for the same reasons other people date. She did it to break hearts. She never meant it like that, but she carried on doing it anyway. And I learnt from her. But I was an amateur, in our game of lust and love. We’d keep a score – how many people we’d screw over. It was sick, I know. But it was our game, our little dare.

Broken down in bars and bathrooms
All I did was what I had to
Don't believe me when I tell you
It's just what anyone would do
Take the time to talk about it
Think a lot and live without it
Don't believe me when I tell you
It's something unforgivable

When she tried to kill herself… it made me wonder. Didn’t I do all I could for her? I tried, and I thought I’d done my best; I’d tried to make her happy. I thought I did. Then I found her on the bathroom floor.
That was like a slap in the face; that’s why I done what I did. I couldn’t bear it anymore.
In the bar, I did something different – pills and booze. Probably the most painful thing to do, but the only thing that came to my mind; I had no other option in my eyes.
So I did it. Only, it didn’t work.
After all that I said to her when she awoke…
What was the word I’d said to her?
Unforgiveable.
I could never forgive myself.

Is this what you call tact?
I swear you're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back
So let's end this call,
And end this conversation
There's nothing worse...
(That's right he said, that's right he said it)
(Have another drink and drive yourself home)
I swear, you have no idea
(I hope there's ice on all the roads)
The jealousy that became me thinking
(That's right he said)
(And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt)
That you always had it way too easy
(And again when your head goes through the windshield)

Some of the stuff she did, that I did, our tact. We didn’t have the same relationship as other people did. It was like we hated each other sometimes, I don’t know why. It’s just the way we worked. Sometimes Lizzie thinks she could be so subtle, but she’s just not. I know her too well for that.
That one phone conversation we had. I laugh at the memory now. But then I realise how fucked up we are.
“He said it,” she kept mumbling that over and over again, I didn’t know what the hell she was on about.
“Who said what?!” I cried, pissed off and frustrated.
“That’s right… he said it,” she muttered again, with so much venom.
“Fucking bitch,” I growled into the phone, restraining the urge to scream, fight, punch.
“Let’s end this call and end this conversation… fuck,” I groaned, still aggravated.
“Frank! There’s nothing worse… what the fuck?!”
“What do you mean? Fucking hell, Lizzie, stop this shit!” I screamed, getting even more pissed. I was glad it was late, that people wouldn’t think much about my screaming on the street.
“You know what?! Have another drink and drive yourself home!” she yelled, I could hear the tears, the lump in her throat.
“You have no idea what I do for you, do you?!” I yelled back, my voice dripping with malice.
“I hope there’s ice on the fucking roads, Frank Iero,”
“You fucking slut!”
“And when you forget your shitting seatbelt like you always do, think of me,” she was calm, completely opposite to what I was right now.
“YOU ALWAYS HAD IT WAY TOO EASY, YOU FUCKING WHORE!”
“…and then think of me again when your head goes through the windshield, you fucking bastard.”
And the phone went dead.
The worst thing was… I did all she said.