Blood On Her Hands.
Emotions.
-Gerard-
This dream is basically different from my usual dream. It's not the usual room where I'll find their corpses one by one. Actually, this is somewhere outside. This theory was been proved by the grass beneath me, and the open space above me. But the ambiance is different, there's color everywhere. The blue sky is clear except from the rare puffs of white clouds that looked like cotton. The squishy grass beneath my feet is in the shade of deep jade.
This is very different from the gray and white room where my usual nightmare takes place. In my usual dream, everything is desaturated except from the gruesome blood on the floor and sometimes, on me. The dream will usually start by me entering the room, and then the endless search for something I consciously do not know, but my insides are fond of. Then one by one, I'll find thier body in the most gruesome and stomach-turning condition.
I won't go into too much details on how horrible my subconscious did with those bodies. Let's just say, it never failed to terrify me. Me, I'm always been facinated with blood and violence, but these, these are my loved ones mutilated in a manner, a cold-blooded lunatic would do. Eyes removed only to leave deep and bloody holes, and as for the missing eyes, I'll usually find it somewhere.
Once, I found a stretch of a 'cloth' lying on the ground or hanged from one hook to another. Due to the gray color of the place, you wouldn't make out that the 'cloth' is indeed, in the shade of tan. From far distance, it would look like a quilt with random things scrawled on it but as you go closer, it get more and more worst. I'll usually touch it, then the horrible truth will hit me in the head like a brick. It is a human skin with tattoos, skin of someone I know, someone I love so much. If you study it more, you'll see a patch with hair and the skin of the penis. You'll see the belly button, then I'll usually start puking. Afterwards, somewhere in the ghastly room, I'll found Frank's headless body with no skin left.
The way they were killed were usually the same, but only changes in order. Sometimes from the less ghastly then to the ghastliest. Randomly, or the most painful, discovering of the bodies ranges from least to the one closest to me and the one I love most. Even though I know what I would find, I'll continue serching, I always did it. I never just sat and wait for the dream to be over. So everytime, it torments me.
After finding the bodies, I'll then find a wooden chair facing a TV placed on top of a VCR. On the wooden chair, a tape is placed. I'll watch it as it shows a menace being, as it one by one, killed them. That's about when the screaming would usually start.
But back to this new dream, I looked around and felt claustrophobic. Even though I am outside, there is nothing here. It's the same with the view of your entire surroundings when you're in a boat in the middle of the ocean. All you'll see is the sky and the, black water. And as you look farther, you'll see a horizon where the sky would touch the water. And that's how it looks like everywhere you turn your eyes. It's just like this, sky and grass.
I ran—though I don't know what direction I am heading—but nothing changed. I heard a scream and automatically looked around for anyone, but then I realized it was me who screamed. Terror spread through me, both because this isn't the same dream at all and because nothing is lingered here. Then I heard something.
'Our beloved has left us broken hearted.'
I was starting to get dizzy from whipping my head around, looking for the source of the sound but there was none.
'His soul has been tormented for why that was the reason he left us. Let's bow our heads and pray for his soul to be in the grace of our Lord.'
It seems like someone died? Still running around, looking for anything, my eyes caught a glimpse of something black on the far left of me. I stopped dead on my tracks and analyzed what my eyes was seeing. The sound came too loud that it seems like I am standing next to the person talking, but the people are several feet away from me. Without thinking, I ran to where they were.
'Our dear beloved one. A friend, a lover, a brother.'
I was panting but I didn't stopped. It felt like the veins in my legs are going to burst, but I forced them anyways. Then I reached them. Four people, dressed in all black, were standing next to each other, their backs facing me. I was estimatedly, 5 feet away from them so I walked closer and their sobs filled my ears.
'It may be painful for us all, loosing a close loved one like him. But let us hope for the saving of his soul. Let us hope that our dear God will enlighten his visions. Let us hope that God will remove all misery and loath in his heart.
The sobs broke my heart, it's full of misery. A few paces from them, a priest stood holding—what I thought was—a Bible and constantly reading it. From the four people, I made out that two were girls. They stood, hugging each other in the middle of two guys. The guy in the left was as the same height as the girl he stood next to, he was leaning his head on her shoulders as he patted her back. There was something that caught my eyes, but they were blocking it from sight so I moved to see what it was.
It came to me that it was a funeral that's why everyone was sobbing and was dressed in black. I stood next to the short boy and told him my sorries for what happened but he seemed not to hear me. I leaned in to look at his face, to see if I know him but what I saw made me scream. He doesn't have a face, along with the rest of them and the priest. It was just blank skin. But I also realized that they can't see me, maybe they were in a different dimension, because no one looked at me or even looked up when I screamed.
'Our beloved brother leaving us for good. A loving friend who was always there for us. And a man who loved with all of his heart would allow, let us pray for him.
I bowed and closed my eyes to show respect for the dead, but then I felt my chest tighten. It was like someone was gripping my heart tightly. I gasped for air as I fell on the moist ground. The priest was still murmuring religious statements about his God and everyone was still sobbing when I saw thirty, no more, people across from where we are, about 10 feet away. The gripping sensation in my chest had stopped and I rose.
But then I fell again. It was I would say scary. A few dozen of people dressed in all black were staring at us. I wasn't moving at all, but when I did twitch, a few of them turned at me. I froze, thinking of how to escape if ever they ran for me. I narrowed my eyes as I studied them, they were just like the four people next to me and the priests. They don't have a face, like God erased all their faces' features and left a flat skin behind.
One of them who turned to me—I couldn't be certain if it was a man or a woman—held its finger and placed it on where its mouth should have been. I was horrified, beyond all words. What does this have to do with my usual dream? And then the truth has sanked in, I turned to the four behind me, still on the ground, and gasped. They were my friends, my remaining loved ones.
It was them, here in this peaceful place agonizing over my death. The pain of the truth nearly knocked backwards, I turned to the coffin. I was crawling wanting to see how I died. Wanting to see if my old features has came back, my skin, eyes and lips. I didn't mind the faceless group of people before me that were panicking as I crawl nearer to the casket.
I stopped and lifted the sealed lid. And there I was, still beautiful and peaceful. Tears started flowing from my eyes caused by sudden blaze of joy. After months of suffering, I knew what had happened to me. I grew old, ugly, vacant. But this, my corpse before me is beautiful, flawless. My skin was in the pretty shade of pale pink, it was pretty. And I felt jealous, but I quickly removed the envy. Why be jealous? That's you, Gerard. As pretty as ever.
Just then I noticed the grass was slowly loosing it's color. I looked around, the sky was starting to fade its exquisite blue, leaving a gruesome shade of gray behind. The color whole place was being drained by something that knew, I hate when this happen. I turned to my corpse and saw that it also had faded its color. And the inhuman sounds starting to fill my ears and make me dizzy.
It was numerous and terrible shrieks. I clapped my hands to my ears automatically as turned to the faceless group. All of it were panicking, screaming. I turned to the priest and the four people, they stood like they're not hearing anything. The screams were getting louder that there is no use of holding my hands against my ears. And then the nightmare started.
I'm back bitch. <3
This dream is basically different from my usual dream. It's not the usual room where I'll find their corpses one by one. Actually, this is somewhere outside. This theory was been proved by the grass beneath me, and the open space above me. But the ambiance is different, there's color everywhere. The blue sky is clear except from the rare puffs of white clouds that looked like cotton. The squishy grass beneath my feet is in the shade of deep jade.
This is very different from the gray and white room where my usual nightmare takes place. In my usual dream, everything is desaturated except from the gruesome blood on the floor and sometimes, on me. The dream will usually start by me entering the room, and then the endless search for something I consciously do not know, but my insides are fond of. Then one by one, I'll find thier body in the most gruesome and stomach-turning condition.
I won't go into too much details on how horrible my subconscious did with those bodies. Let's just say, it never failed to terrify me. Me, I'm always been facinated with blood and violence, but these, these are my loved ones mutilated in a manner, a cold-blooded lunatic would do. Eyes removed only to leave deep and bloody holes, and as for the missing eyes, I'll usually find it somewhere.
Once, I found a stretch of a 'cloth' lying on the ground or hanged from one hook to another. Due to the gray color of the place, you wouldn't make out that the 'cloth' is indeed, in the shade of tan. From far distance, it would look like a quilt with random things scrawled on it but as you go closer, it get more and more worst. I'll usually touch it, then the horrible truth will hit me in the head like a brick. It is a human skin with tattoos, skin of someone I know, someone I love so much. If you study it more, you'll see a patch with hair and the skin of the penis. You'll see the belly button, then I'll usually start puking. Afterwards, somewhere in the ghastly room, I'll found Frank's headless body with no skin left.
The way they were killed were usually the same, but only changes in order. Sometimes from the less ghastly then to the ghastliest. Randomly, or the most painful, discovering of the bodies ranges from least to the one closest to me and the one I love most. Even though I know what I would find, I'll continue serching, I always did it. I never just sat and wait for the dream to be over. So everytime, it torments me.
After finding the bodies, I'll then find a wooden chair facing a TV placed on top of a VCR. On the wooden chair, a tape is placed. I'll watch it as it shows a menace being, as it one by one, killed them. That's about when the screaming would usually start.
But back to this new dream, I looked around and felt claustrophobic. Even though I am outside, there is nothing here. It's the same with the view of your entire surroundings when you're in a boat in the middle of the ocean. All you'll see is the sky and the, black water. And as you look farther, you'll see a horizon where the sky would touch the water. And that's how it looks like everywhere you turn your eyes. It's just like this, sky and grass.
I ran—though I don't know what direction I am heading—but nothing changed. I heard a scream and automatically looked around for anyone, but then I realized it was me who screamed. Terror spread through me, both because this isn't the same dream at all and because nothing is lingered here. Then I heard something.
'Our beloved has left us broken hearted.'
I was starting to get dizzy from whipping my head around, looking for the source of the sound but there was none.
'His soul has been tormented for why that was the reason he left us. Let's bow our heads and pray for his soul to be in the grace of our Lord.'
It seems like someone died? Still running around, looking for anything, my eyes caught a glimpse of something black on the far left of me. I stopped dead on my tracks and analyzed what my eyes was seeing. The sound came too loud that it seems like I am standing next to the person talking, but the people are several feet away from me. Without thinking, I ran to where they were.
'Our dear beloved one. A friend, a lover, a brother.'
I was panting but I didn't stopped. It felt like the veins in my legs are going to burst, but I forced them anyways. Then I reached them. Four people, dressed in all black, were standing next to each other, their backs facing me. I was estimatedly, 5 feet away from them so I walked closer and their sobs filled my ears.
'It may be painful for us all, loosing a close loved one like him. But let us hope for the saving of his soul. Let us hope that our dear God will enlighten his visions. Let us hope that God will remove all misery and loath in his heart.
The sobs broke my heart, it's full of misery. A few paces from them, a priest stood holding—what I thought was—a Bible and constantly reading it. From the four people, I made out that two were girls. They stood, hugging each other in the middle of two guys. The guy in the left was as the same height as the girl he stood next to, he was leaning his head on her shoulders as he patted her back. There was something that caught my eyes, but they were blocking it from sight so I moved to see what it was.
It came to me that it was a funeral that's why everyone was sobbing and was dressed in black. I stood next to the short boy and told him my sorries for what happened but he seemed not to hear me. I leaned in to look at his face, to see if I know him but what I saw made me scream. He doesn't have a face, along with the rest of them and the priest. It was just blank skin. But I also realized that they can't see me, maybe they were in a different dimension, because no one looked at me or even looked up when I screamed.
'Our beloved brother leaving us for good. A loving friend who was always there for us. And a man who loved with all of his heart would allow, let us pray for him.
I bowed and closed my eyes to show respect for the dead, but then I felt my chest tighten. It was like someone was gripping my heart tightly. I gasped for air as I fell on the moist ground. The priest was still murmuring religious statements about his God and everyone was still sobbing when I saw thirty, no more, people across from where we are, about 10 feet away. The gripping sensation in my chest had stopped and I rose.
But then I fell again. It was I would say scary. A few dozen of people dressed in all black were staring at us. I wasn't moving at all, but when I did twitch, a few of them turned at me. I froze, thinking of how to escape if ever they ran for me. I narrowed my eyes as I studied them, they were just like the four people next to me and the priests. They don't have a face, like God erased all their faces' features and left a flat skin behind.
One of them who turned to me—I couldn't be certain if it was a man or a woman—held its finger and placed it on where its mouth should have been. I was horrified, beyond all words. What does this have to do with my usual dream? And then the truth has sanked in, I turned to the four behind me, still on the ground, and gasped. They were my friends, my remaining loved ones.
It was them, here in this peaceful place agonizing over my death. The pain of the truth nearly knocked backwards, I turned to the coffin. I was crawling wanting to see how I died. Wanting to see if my old features has came back, my skin, eyes and lips. I didn't mind the faceless group of people before me that were panicking as I crawl nearer to the casket.
I stopped and lifted the sealed lid. And there I was, still beautiful and peaceful. Tears started flowing from my eyes caused by sudden blaze of joy. After months of suffering, I knew what had happened to me. I grew old, ugly, vacant. But this, my corpse before me is beautiful, flawless. My skin was in the pretty shade of pale pink, it was pretty. And I felt jealous, but I quickly removed the envy. Why be jealous? That's you, Gerard. As pretty as ever.
Just then I noticed the grass was slowly loosing it's color. I looked around, the sky was starting to fade its exquisite blue, leaving a gruesome shade of gray behind. The color whole place was being drained by something that knew, I hate when this happen. I turned to my corpse and saw that it also had faded its color. And the inhuman sounds starting to fill my ears and make me dizzy.
It was numerous and terrible shrieks. I clapped my hands to my ears automatically as turned to the faceless group. All of it were panicking, screaming. I turned to the priest and the four people, they stood like they're not hearing anything. The screams were getting louder that there is no use of holding my hands against my ears. And then the nightmare started.
I'm back bitch. <3