Blood On Her Hands.
Waking Up.
In a snap, my dream started to turn into a nightmare. With all the colors now drained away, the place looks ghastly. My friends and the priest—who still doesn't have faces—were still standing like they've done before, unaware of the chaos starting to unfold. The flock of faceless people were now running around the place like idiots, but more scarier.
The screams are more tormenting than ever, sometimes I'd think I'm hearing screams of women, children, gun shots, screeching of tires against the pavement, churning of a train, a cat wildly fighting and some more sounds that I can't identify. When would I wake up?
I froze. What if I'm dreaming of this because...because of one reason. This dream is occurring to me because I will never wake up. Is that so? Is this dream a horrid farewell for me? This terrified me, a slightest thought that I was seeing my funeral before my eyes in a dream is because I am really dead, never occurred to me. I never thought I had this dream to tell me I am dead.
I felt several strong emotions creeping over me. Sorrow, longing, and hatred. For God, if ever he exists, for killing me without not giving me the chance to say goodbye to my loved ones. For not letting me see my daughter before I flee the land of the living. I hated him, hated him fiercely.
So there, I'm dead and I'll never lay a sight to the ones I love. This truth presented itself on me while the faceless people ran and screamed around. Then I realized I was crying, hard. I was gasping for breath as I sobbed deeper. I thought about Haley. So any moment now I'll see her? I felt my chest relaxed at the thought of this. Me and the only woman I loved so dearly, together again. We'll be together and nothing could separate us. Nothing at all. Wrong.
What if she's in heaven and I'll end up in hell? Or worst, what if she was damned to hell because of how she died and I, I'll go to heaven? I will never see her again then? My angel, I thought of her face. My fallen angel. Please, let us be together, I don't care if you damn us in an eternity to rot in hell. I don't care if you send us way down to burn into flames. Just let us be together. This saddened me. The thought of we will never see each other, the thought of me not being able to touch her face again. That I can never ever feel her lips into mine.
This facts shattered my heart. The reason I undergo a horrifying mopping state was because my being can't accept that she's gone. Afterlife was my only hope, but now it is clearly being shown to me that there is in fact, no hope at all. I was crying terribly, it felt like there were several holes in my chest aching. The ragged edges throbbing as air touched them. It hurts so much, shouldn't afterlife feel better?
I can feel my insides crushing, breaking. I can feel my heart pound on my ribs wildly. But a small voice in me spoke, Pain, it's painful in hell. So then I'm going to hell? I will see her! We will be together! Two damned souls celebrating their little reunion in teh depths of hell. I smiled as I thought of her face. How she would smile when she sees me, what she'll say. How she'd kiss me. The throbbing and aching of my insides subsided as the glory of love entered.
I didn't know how long I was sitting there in the middle of the loud and horrifying crowd, running around and screaming. But I was certain it was long. Though I didn't care, I don't care if I am wasting my time. Thinking of her, my only love is certainly not a waste of time. It's everything, everything I would want. I was recollecting my thoughts of our high school life together when a familiar voice said the name I knew from I was small, the name that I grew up saying. Mikey
I opened my eyes from it's peaceful seal and looked around. The same time the voice said his name, the screaming had vanished like someone pulled the plug of a stereo. My friends and the priest along with the screaming crowd had disappeared. I looked down on the coffin and screamed.
x -------- x
An update, yess, I did it!
Don't worry, I have a few chapters written down...but does anyone still reads this?
Cuz I mean, why should I post the rest if there's no readers?
xP
The screams are more tormenting than ever, sometimes I'd think I'm hearing screams of women, children, gun shots, screeching of tires against the pavement, churning of a train, a cat wildly fighting and some more sounds that I can't identify. When would I wake up?
I froze. What if I'm dreaming of this because...because of one reason. This dream is occurring to me because I will never wake up. Is that so? Is this dream a horrid farewell for me? This terrified me, a slightest thought that I was seeing my funeral before my eyes in a dream is because I am really dead, never occurred to me. I never thought I had this dream to tell me I am dead.
I felt several strong emotions creeping over me. Sorrow, longing, and hatred. For God, if ever he exists, for killing me without not giving me the chance to say goodbye to my loved ones. For not letting me see my daughter before I flee the land of the living. I hated him, hated him fiercely.
So there, I'm dead and I'll never lay a sight to the ones I love. This truth presented itself on me while the faceless people ran and screamed around. Then I realized I was crying, hard. I was gasping for breath as I sobbed deeper. I thought about Haley. So any moment now I'll see her? I felt my chest relaxed at the thought of this. Me and the only woman I loved so dearly, together again. We'll be together and nothing could separate us. Nothing at all. Wrong.
What if she's in heaven and I'll end up in hell? Or worst, what if she was damned to hell because of how she died and I, I'll go to heaven? I will never see her again then? My angel, I thought of her face. My fallen angel. Please, let us be together, I don't care if you damn us in an eternity to rot in hell. I don't care if you send us way down to burn into flames. Just let us be together. This saddened me. The thought of we will never see each other, the thought of me not being able to touch her face again. That I can never ever feel her lips into mine.
This facts shattered my heart. The reason I undergo a horrifying mopping state was because my being can't accept that she's gone. Afterlife was my only hope, but now it is clearly being shown to me that there is in fact, no hope at all. I was crying terribly, it felt like there were several holes in my chest aching. The ragged edges throbbing as air touched them. It hurts so much, shouldn't afterlife feel better?
I can feel my insides crushing, breaking. I can feel my heart pound on my ribs wildly. But a small voice in me spoke, Pain, it's painful in hell. So then I'm going to hell? I will see her! We will be together! Two damned souls celebrating their little reunion in teh depths of hell. I smiled as I thought of her face. How she would smile when she sees me, what she'll say. How she'd kiss me. The throbbing and aching of my insides subsided as the glory of love entered.
I didn't know how long I was sitting there in the middle of the loud and horrifying crowd, running around and screaming. But I was certain it was long. Though I didn't care, I don't care if I am wasting my time. Thinking of her, my only love is certainly not a waste of time. It's everything, everything I would want. I was recollecting my thoughts of our high school life together when a familiar voice said the name I knew from I was small, the name that I grew up saying. Mikey
I opened my eyes from it's peaceful seal and looked around. The same time the voice said his name, the screaming had vanished like someone pulled the plug of a stereo. My friends and the priest along with the screaming crowd had disappeared. I looked down on the coffin and screamed.
x -------- x
An update, yess, I did it!
Don't worry, I have a few chapters written down...but does anyone still reads this?
Cuz I mean, why should I post the rest if there's no readers?
xP