Comfortable Liar

withdrawal; the syndrome of often painful physical and psychological symptoms that follows discontinuance of an addicting drug

One week. One very long week. I squeezed my eyes tighter together and thought back to last Sunday.

Chris and Karen hadn’t been able to go out on Saturday, so they had left for the entire day on Sunday. I had been planning on sleeping all day, since my legs hurt too much for me to walk around much. I had actually been asleep when I felt someone shaking me awake.

“Matt?” He was standing above me, and I could see that my window was open from the corner of my eye. I blinked a little and sat up on my elbows.

“I gotta talk to you about something,” Matt said as he looked down at me. I moved over on the bed so he could sit down, and Matt pulled me into his lap after he sat down. I curled into his warmth and buried my face in his neck.

“I’m leaving for a week.” I moved so fast that I nearly fell off of Matt, but he kept his arms tight around me.

“Leaving? Why?” I asked. His dark hazel eyes stared into mine, and I could feel myself starting to shake.

“For my cousin’s wedding. She lives in Florida, and my parent’s are making me go with them,” Matt said.

“A whole week?”

“I might be back Sunday,” Matt said and brushed some hair away from my face.

Monday had passed by in a blur. Aiden and Raynee kept asking what had happened to my lip, and I told them the same thing that I told Matt. Sometimes I don’t think they believed me, but they had stopped asking. It was now Friday, and I was in my math class. The last class of the day.

“Someone looks gloomy.”

“Fuck off, Haner,” I mumbled without lifting my head.

“Don’t be like that, Red. There’s another party tonight. We can pick up where we left off, and there won’t be any interruptions this time,” Brian said. I could picture the smirk on his face, and it made me want to knock it off him.

“I’m going to Aiden’s tonight,” I said.

“That’s too bad. We could have had a lot of fun,” Brian said. I felt him give my knee a quick pat, and then he was gone.

I heard the bell ring some time later, and I sluggishly rose from my desk. I was the last person out of the room, and Raynee was just leaning against her locker as I approached. She smiled when she saw me, and I made myself smile back. I’ve been stuck in some weird kind of depression, and I jut can’t seem to get out of it.

“So, ready for this weekend?” Raynee asked.

“I’ve been looking forward to it all day,” I said. At least that was the truth. Raynee and I were going to stay with Aiden tonight (Johnny would most likely be there too), and it would be just like old times. I had missed hanging out with my girls, and Johnny.

“Me too. I guess it’s a good thing both you and Aiden are off this afternoon,” Raynee said. I closed my locker and glanced over at her.

“Yes, it is. I love working at the ice cream shop, but it’s nice to get a little time off,” I said.

“Yep, now let’s get going!” This time my smile was more genuine as Raynee looped her arm through mine, and I couldn’t wait to get to Aiden’s.

*** __ *** __ ***

We were halfway through watching Empire Records when it first started hitting me. It started off slow. My stomach began twisting, but I thought it was just from the pizza I had ate. Looking at all the grease floating on top of the melted cheese had been enough to make me sick to my stomach, but I hadn’t thrown up.

A few minutes later my skin broke out in a light layer of sweat. My skin felt cold and clammy, and I snuggled deeper into my blanket. Raynee, who was sitting next to me on the loveseat, didn’t seem to notice. Aiden and Johnny were stretched out on the couch on the other side of the room didn’t notice either.

Next was the headache. It started around my temples and within minutes my whole head was throbbing. The light from the TV caused my eyes to burn, so I tried closing them. Then it sounded as if someone had turned the TV up as loud as it would go, which caused my entire head to start throbbing. The pain caused my eyes to water, and I jumped off the couch.

The blanket wrapped around my legs and nearly tripped me, and the tears caused everything to look blurry. I finally got the blanket away from me and half-ran/half-stumbled into Aiden’s bathroom. I didn’t bother closing the door behind me, and I slumped against the tile floor.

“Erika, what’s wrong?” Aiden asked. I lifted my head from the toilet and looked past Aiden. Raynee and Johnny were standing in the doorway, and they both had worried expressions.

“I don’t know. My head started hurting, and then I just felt really sick,” I said.

“You did look a little paler than usual after school,” Raynee said.

“I was sick last weekend, but I thought it was just a bit of a hangover, you know?” I asked and glanced up at Aiden.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed. I’ll send Johnny to the store for some medicine,” Aiden said. She wrapped one of arms around her neck and pulled me up, and then she laid me down in the guest bedroom. I tucked the blankets under my chin and rolled to my side. I was still shaking a little, but not nearly as bad as earlier. My head was still pounding as well.

“How’re you feeling?” Aiden asked as she walked back into the room. I wanted to open my eyes and then answer her, but the thought of seeing anything bright made me keep them closed.

“About the same,” I mumbled.

“Here, take this until Johnny and Raynee get back,” Aiden said and handed me something. I swallowed the two Tylenol’s and then I set the glass of water on the table next to the bed. Aiden gave me one long look, and I waited to see if she would ask me anything.

“I’ll come back and check on you,” she finally said.

“Thanks, Aiden,” I whispered.

“No problem. It’s what friends are for.” I heard the soft click of the door behind her, and I closed my eyes again.

I added up all my symptoms to see what could possibly be wrong with me. It could just be a virus, but I don’t see where I could have gotten it from. No one else had been sick, so I hadn’t caught it from anyone. If it wasn’t a virus though, what was it? I had been feeling sick all week, since Matt left. I hadn’t felt really sick until he told me he was leaving. And that’s when it hit me.

I let out a small groan and rolled to my other side. It was an insane idea, but it was the only one I could come up with. Even in my head it sounded pathetic, so I knew I wouldn’t tell anyone exactly what was wrong with me. The truth of it was though, I was having withdrawals. Being away from Matt for one weak had sent me spiraling into a withdrawal.