Comfortable Liar

end; termination; conclusion

My fingers shook as I grabbed the payphone, and my knees were just dying to buckle. I might not have cried in front of Matt, but the tears had made their appearance as soon as I got out of the house. I had tried driving, but I just couldn't anymore. So, I had done the only thing I could think of. I pulled over and dialed Aiden's number while shaking in a payphone booth.

"Hello?" Aiden's voice was light and happy, and I could hear Johnny and Raynee laughing in the background.

"I need help, Aiden," I whispered.

"Erika, is that you? Are you okay? Where are you?" Aiden asked quickly. I looked around at the street signs and told her where I was.

"And, Aiden, can you come alone? Please?" I asked. I was close to Raynee and Johnny, but I couldn't handle more than one person right now. Breaking down in front of Aiden was going to be hard enough.

"Of course, love. I'm on the way." I hung the phone up just as my legs finally collapsed. My ass hit the hard ground, and I buried my face in my knees. I'm not sure how long I sat there, crying uncontrollably into my knees. It felt like an eternity, and then Aiden was softly shaking me. The purple and gold flecks in her blue eyes stood out more than ever as her eyes raked over my face.

"Erika, what happened?" she asked as she looked at the rest of me. I pushed myself forward and buried my face in her stomach, and I felt her hands lightly stroking my back.

"Chris kicked me out, all my stuff's in the car. I went to find Matt, and... I'm so fucking stupid, Aiden!" I yelled and cried harder. I heard Aiden whispering things in my ear, but I couldn't concentrate on what she was saying.

"What happened, Rik? Did Matt...did he hurt you?" Aiden asked. I pushed myself back so I could look at her, and her fingers tightened on my shoulders to hold me up.

"It was all a lie, Aiden. It was just one big lie," I said. Aiden's eyes clouded with confusion.

"What do you mean, it was all a lie?"

"Everything was a lie. He never wanted me. He wanted to break me," I whispered and dropped my head to her stomach again. Aiden didn't say anything, and I just continued to cry.

"Do you know what the worst part is?" I asked.

"No," Aiden whispered.

"He did it. He broke me." Aiden pushed me back and grabbed my face, forcing me to look at her.

"Don't say that. He did not break you," Aiden said forcefully. Her words struck a nerve, and I jumped up. Aiden slowly, cautiously, stood up and looked at me.

"He did break me though, Aiden. He broke me down," I whispered. Aiden's facial features softened and she stretched a hand towards me, but I backed away.

"You can get over this, Erika," Aiden whispered. I shook my head and played with the bottom of my tee shirt. Without another thought, I pulled it over my head. Aiden gasped as she looked at me, and I didn't have to look down to guess why. My ribs stood out, along with my hip and collar bones.

"He told me I was fat, so I stopped eating. He turned me into a bulimic. I'm addicted to cocaine and pills, and I'm a borderline alcoholic. I gave my virginity to someone who didn't even love me. I let him convince me that I was a bad person and that I deserved to hurt myself." I was wearing a pair of shorts, and I lifted them up to reveal the deep cuts all over the tops of my thighs.

"Erika, why didn't you—"

"Because I loved him, like an idiot." I dropped my face into my hands, and then I felt Aiden's arms wrap around me. She pulled me to her and my head rested on her chest as fresh tears spilled from my eyes.

"Don't worry, Erika. Everything's going to be okay, I promise," Aiden whispered. I squeezed my eyes together and sucked in a deep breath.

My skin was tight as my muscles quivered, and my bones mashed together as my body continued to shake. My stomach felt hollow, and my throat felt raw from sobbing. My eyes burned from the excessive tears, and it felt like my chest was ripping open with every heartbeat. I prayed for an end to the pain, but it never came.

It was the end of bliss, the end of ignorance, the end of me.