August

Take in air.

Squeeze eyes shut.

Try to block out noise in one's head.

Sob loudly, beating steering wheel.

Pull out of drive-way.

This shouldn't have happened: the fact that I'm pregnant and how the news was spilled. The first time I ever had sex and this- this happens. All of it.

I'm a boy!

It all started one (and like the only one we ever have in Nevada) rainy day- Ryan and I were just bored. Both of us had been debating for a while whether we liked each other like that. So maybe, just maybe, if we had sex we'd know. We were both wrong. Something just told me in my gut at four A.M., while I clung to the bottom of the toilet praying for whatever I had to pass, it was wrong. I love him but, we shouldn't have gone about it like that.

Then on top of my doctor was not only his neighbor, but the doctor's son is one of Ryan's best friends. God William that bastard. No, Dr. Beckett is that bastard. He should know not to talk about any case, no matter how interesting it may be outside of the office. And he had better known Will would tell Ryan anything!

Ok, air, more air.