August

I never knew how much better I could feel after one night and I have to say gym class was so much more fun today. Ryan picked me to be on his team. I just feel a little bad, though that he got crap later in the locker room for it. But he didn't seem to care. After food servicing I went to go meet up with Pete. I haven't talked to Pete since I went over to Ryan's, this should be good.

"Petey!" I shouted to him as he shut his locker. His girlfriend, Carmen was by him they seemed to be in a pretty heated argument. It was my queue to pivot on one foot towards the opposite direction….

"Hey Brendon," Jon said adjusting some books as he walked, "You should have been there it was a great party."

"Yeah," he grinned and I smiled trying to sound like a genuinely wanted to be there instead of next to Ryan, "Going to art, right?"

"Well for today, I'm thinking of dropping out of it."

"Why?!"

"I don't know, art just isn't my thing… plus, I don't like half the things I do in there. Like that profile I painted- it looked like Lord Licorice from Candy Land," Jon shook his head and chuckled, "So much for Heidi Klum."

I laughed and felt my stomach gargle, since I was probably filled to the top, "Nah, man I'd take that. Besides if you weren't there I have to deal with Audrey, she still just doesn't get it that I'm not into her…."

"Oh Brendon," Jon fluttered his eyes and made his voice higher, along with an annoying giggle behind it, "Brenny!"

"Yes, yes, you know exactly what I'm talking about!" I was starting to laugh harder now, seeing as how she was looking at us funny when we entered.

The next two classes went by quickly and then I had a doctor's appointment after school. Everything is going well- more normal then they expected. I hate that word, 'normal.' Way to make me feel out of place even more. Anyways, I sat at the table while my mom cut vegetables, Kayla was at drama/theatre club while Ben was being tutored for math. Couldn't just ask for help form me… And then my dad was at this convention in Texas.

"Heard you talking to Ryan last night," she said without looking up.

"We talked." I said shifting as I looked at my study sheet- I couldn't believe she listened in on me.

"So, he knows?"

"God, you and Pete are just being Nazis about the whole thing."

"Excuse me young man? You know I don't like that type of language...even if it was a little funny." she turned around and raised an eyebrow at me still keeping an even tone.

"I'm sorry… I won't say such things or take the Lord's name in vain," I added the last part because I knew it'd make her happy to hear I was playing into her idea of a cure for her mid-life crisis.

"But you don't even know," I sighed and soon this whole situation started becoming stomach twisting again, "I just want to be normal. Even if I am gay or pregnant."

"I know," did everyone really 'know'? Because for some reason I've had multiple people state that to me and I think they are a bunch of liars! Even more than me. "The next few months are going to be hard, and don't you think Ryan should at least have some clue as to what's going on dear?"

"I guess…" she wiped her hands with a towel and came over to kiss my forehead. Ben entered with his backpack and slung it on the table.

"What's for dinner?"

"Nice greeting," My mom said sarcastically, "Lasagna and salad."

"Sounds good." He said without even taking the slightest glance over to me.

"Go get washed up though, it'll be ready in a few." Ben walked about, still not looking at me.

"Mom," I sighed, "you saw that right?"

"Saw what?"

"That! Ben hasn't talked to me in ages," I looked at the tile floor, biting the inside of my cheek, "if my own family does that to me what is the rest of the world supposed to think?"

"Bren, B is just having a hard time with this, he doesn't understand."

"He's 14 and Kayla's 15."

"Kayla doesn't do that to you." My mom put down the knife and placed her hands on her hips.

"Yes she does!" my nose started running and my chest was on fire, "Even Kira has her side on it."

My mother looked guiltily at her shoes and went to getting bowls out. The rest of the evening was quiet. I did my homework and went to bed.