Sequel: Dear August ›
August
...
So, every night that I come home from school now there's petitioners either on my street or by my house. Yes, some how the word got out that I was pregnant. I just have a feeling it wasn't ol' Ryho-- no, he's probably still hiding in his room. I haven't seen him around school at all, that or he's just taking drastic measure to avoid me. Honestly, I don't know. Everything has gone numb again lately since I can't-- plus well, my surroundings don't help.
Ben and Kayla are shunning me even more, apparently they are getting picked on in school for it now. Please, do they know what is happening to me? The damn petitioners want me kicked out, yes I repeat, kicked out of school. Unfortunately I have a feeling that the state will make some stupid law against me… America, so much for being different. Pete and Will (because he's the one who got himself into this mess) are the only ones who constantly check up on me. They've become my older brothers almost. I think my other friends care they just aren't emotional equipped to deal with me. Hell, I'm not even ready to do that.
To add to my pain, the extra (or normal level) of testosterone isn't in effect anymore and I'm more emotional then ever. Not to mention the constant fatigue that I've had lately, walking down to the other end of school is hard. Now usually I'd look it as a perk to have a scooter to ride around in, but this... On top of that my belly has rapidly grown in the past few weeks.
Anyways, so there I was, hiding out the computer room and Pete had come over. He was staring at me intently, still not saying anything. I knew for a fact that this was the day I met Jack and Ricky, or something. It was turning out to be more of a nerve racking event then it should have been. I mean, what if they were nothing what we expected, or totally screw over my baby later in life?
I feel like you wouldn't like me if you met me.
"Pete, this is fucked up." I said not to anything in particular, but had the need to talk about the situation.
"What?"
"Come and look at this," I lied… yeah, maybe I didn't want to be sensitive. It felt weird, "This guy can clap 1,000 claps per second or something like that."
"Dude, you need to stop looking up Youtube videos." He laughed and glanced at the time for the fifth time.
"God! Stop, they get here at 4:30."
"I'm sorry," he replied defensively, "I've never been around another gay person before, other then you… so I'm like freakin' out! Ok?" Pete wouldn't look me in the eyes as he said this because I knew for a fact he was ashamed of his reason.
"I'm nervous too- I just wish someone else could be here to help me decide…" I thought for a moment and realized in most cases it would have been Ryan. A lonely pit started forming in my lower back making me feel tired, so I sat back.
"Boys," my mother popped her head in the doorway, "They're here."
Taking one more gulp, I lead us out to the dining room. Two men in their mid-thirties sat next to each other at the table. One was balding and had glasses, the nerdy type (I respect that), and the other had side parted brown hair along with a killer tattoo on his upper right arm peeking through his stripped polo shirt. But, overall they looked like the type of people you'd ask for directions on the street. And of course the up-tight social worker was there with her brief case and bland suit.
"Hi," the man with the tattoos stood up, "I'm James, this is Roger." He pointed to his partner.
"I'm Brendon," I motion to myself without offering a hand to shake, "Pete."
"Is Pete the other-" Roger started cautiously.
"No." I shook my head trying not to snicker. Pete just became more uncomfortable at the thought and my mom stood there just as awkwardly as he did, "How about we all take a seat? You can ask any question you want."
All the people in the room found a seat and we started our discussions. Mostly legal things. Open adoption, names, if I wanted visits and what-not. Then they got into the topics of the people who were killing my lawn and the next holiday coming up, Christmas. They seemed all right though.
After they left Pete drove me over to William's and we hung out in his room. Will was sitting with his homework sprawled out, Pete played some music that was left over from Will's strings class, and I was munching on a bag of pretzels.
"Ashlee says she doesn't want anything but I know she does." Pete's beat got faster and he huffed a little, "I know she's lying."
"Underwear." The shaggy haired boy answered.
"No, not dating long enough. Perfume." I corrected as a cozy silence filled the room.
"I don't know, they seemed pretty cool." Pete was finally answering Will's question from about five minutes ago.
"Random, man." Will snorted, not breaking concentration from the papers.
"Yeah, if that's what you want to say. " I folded the bag over and brushed off the salt on my fingers. All with a bit of annoyance behind it, "I wasn't feeling their views on religion, jeez, my parents took me to church every Sunday and look what happened." They nodded, only half caring and stared out the window to the next house. It wasn't Ryan's, but I could imagine it was.
"Brendon," Will scolded, Pete's playing stopped for a moment, "Put your feet up."
"I'm going."
"They shouldn't be purple." Pete pointed out.
"I know." I said bitterly and the two got up to help fit some pillows under my feet. For once I wished my friends weren't as nice… it just reminds who shitty of one I am.
Ben and Kayla are shunning me even more, apparently they are getting picked on in school for it now. Please, do they know what is happening to me? The damn petitioners want me kicked out, yes I repeat, kicked out of school. Unfortunately I have a feeling that the state will make some stupid law against me… America, so much for being different. Pete and Will (because he's the one who got himself into this mess) are the only ones who constantly check up on me. They've become my older brothers almost. I think my other friends care they just aren't emotional equipped to deal with me. Hell, I'm not even ready to do that.
To add to my pain, the extra (or normal level) of testosterone isn't in effect anymore and I'm more emotional then ever. Not to mention the constant fatigue that I've had lately, walking down to the other end of school is hard. Now usually I'd look it as a perk to have a scooter to ride around in, but this... On top of that my belly has rapidly grown in the past few weeks.
Anyways, so there I was, hiding out the computer room and Pete had come over. He was staring at me intently, still not saying anything. I knew for a fact that this was the day I met Jack and Ricky, or something. It was turning out to be more of a nerve racking event then it should have been. I mean, what if they were nothing what we expected, or totally screw over my baby later in life?
I feel like you wouldn't like me if you met me.
"Pete, this is fucked up." I said not to anything in particular, but had the need to talk about the situation.
"What?"
"Come and look at this," I lied… yeah, maybe I didn't want to be sensitive. It felt weird, "This guy can clap 1,000 claps per second or something like that."
"Dude, you need to stop looking up Youtube videos." He laughed and glanced at the time for the fifth time.
"God! Stop, they get here at 4:30."
"I'm sorry," he replied defensively, "I've never been around another gay person before, other then you… so I'm like freakin' out! Ok?" Pete wouldn't look me in the eyes as he said this because I knew for a fact he was ashamed of his reason.
"I'm nervous too- I just wish someone else could be here to help me decide…" I thought for a moment and realized in most cases it would have been Ryan. A lonely pit started forming in my lower back making me feel tired, so I sat back.
"Boys," my mother popped her head in the doorway, "They're here."
Taking one more gulp, I lead us out to the dining room. Two men in their mid-thirties sat next to each other at the table. One was balding and had glasses, the nerdy type (I respect that), and the other had side parted brown hair along with a killer tattoo on his upper right arm peeking through his stripped polo shirt. But, overall they looked like the type of people you'd ask for directions on the street. And of course the up-tight social worker was there with her brief case and bland suit.
"Hi," the man with the tattoos stood up, "I'm James, this is Roger." He pointed to his partner.
"I'm Brendon," I motion to myself without offering a hand to shake, "Pete."
"Is Pete the other-" Roger started cautiously.
"No." I shook my head trying not to snicker. Pete just became more uncomfortable at the thought and my mom stood there just as awkwardly as he did, "How about we all take a seat? You can ask any question you want."
All the people in the room found a seat and we started our discussions. Mostly legal things. Open adoption, names, if I wanted visits and what-not. Then they got into the topics of the people who were killing my lawn and the next holiday coming up, Christmas. They seemed all right though.
After they left Pete drove me over to William's and we hung out in his room. Will was sitting with his homework sprawled out, Pete played some music that was left over from Will's strings class, and I was munching on a bag of pretzels.
"Ashlee says she doesn't want anything but I know she does." Pete's beat got faster and he huffed a little, "I know she's lying."
"Underwear." The shaggy haired boy answered.
"No, not dating long enough. Perfume." I corrected as a cozy silence filled the room.
"I don't know, they seemed pretty cool." Pete was finally answering Will's question from about five minutes ago.
"Random, man." Will snorted, not breaking concentration from the papers.
"Yeah, if that's what you want to say. " I folded the bag over and brushed off the salt on my fingers. All with a bit of annoyance behind it, "I wasn't feeling their views on religion, jeez, my parents took me to church every Sunday and look what happened." They nodded, only half caring and stared out the window to the next house. It wasn't Ryan's, but I could imagine it was.
"Brendon," Will scolded, Pete's playing stopped for a moment, "Put your feet up."
"I'm going."
"They shouldn't be purple." Pete pointed out.
"I know." I said bitterly and the two got up to help fit some pillows under my feet. For once I wished my friends weren't as nice… it just reminds who shitty of one I am.